Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Brian Hart's interview

For all of you who are worried and wondering, the pube was still on the soap when I came home after spending the weekend in a retreat camp in the mountains with Thunder Bolts and friends which means my roommate knew I was on to him and isn't using my soap anymore. That's good for all of us. So today's post is the highly anticipated interview Brian Hart interview. The man needs no introduction, his accomplishments come stacked beside him so high that they can be seen from the moon. The man's got a beard that would make Richard the Lion heart bitterly jealous, and he's beaten up celebrities (cracked out ones that are now on celebrity rehab) which is accomplishment enough in this life. Especially when the celebrity was that annoying kid from "Bay Watch". It's all in the interview. So, with no further adew, I present you the Brian Hart interview...

(MrThunderBolt) So I was watching "Lethal Weapon" the other night, and Mel Gibson is talking about how he capped that guy in Laos from really far away and in high wind, and maybe only 10 people in the world could have made that shot. Do you consider yourself one of those 10 people?

(Brian) Do I consider myself one of those 10 people he was talking about?  I was born in 81’, “Lethal Weapon” came out in 87’, which puts me at about six, so no I don’t think I was one of the 10 he was talking about.  But, could I make that shot?  Absolutely.


So a funny story I thought of a couple weeks ago that always instills a sense of family pride within me was when you beat up the actor kid that played "Hoby" (David Hasslehofs' son) on "Bay Watch". What was it like beating up a child star, even though he wasn't a star, he just thought he was? Would you like to tell our viewers a little about that story?

That’s a funny story.  That was probably my first real fight I ever had with someone other than a close relative.  I was friends with some neighbor kids that lived up the street from us when I was 12.  For some reason during the summer we all stopped talking to each other over something stupid.  Turns out that their neighbor’s grandson was Hobi and he was visiting for the weekend.  So one day this Hobi comes over to us and wants to fight us for no reason.  None of us want to fight him but he keeps saying stuff and eventually pushes me.  The only thing I really remember about the fight was that my cousin, who was a surfer, was simultaneously telling me I could beat Hobi up, and asking Hobi for his autograph.  I was also scared that I was going to really hurt him and he would sue my parents (this was the early 90’s and everybody sued each other).  Since I had had years of practicing on my brothers, I had no problem beating him up.  He eventually threatened to sue me and left. 

So here's a classic question that I think I'll be asking every interviewee: If you were trapped on an island with a single member of Bolts of Thunder, who would it be and why? 

After reading your blog I am automatically envisioning cannibals on the island.  In this case I would definitely take Matt.  I think Matt is the only thunder bolt out there that would eventually get hungry enough to start cannibalizing the cannibals.  If this were the case, I know I would have no problem with a surplus of fresh food until help arrived.  Matt also has some Jedi mind manipulation thing down were he can get people feeling good about doing things that they don’t really want to do.  So, I could be the one fetching a meal for Matt as well, either way neither of us would go hungry.



I think I speak for the general public when I say that you have a pretty amazing beard. How do you treat your beard, and what tips would you give to anyone wanting to have such a manly beard? And going along the same lines, should we expect to see a long-haired version of Brian any time in the future?

Well, may I say, thank you for noticing.  This beard is 100% natural grade A hair that receives a healthy dose of sunshine, rest, and left overs that do not make it in my mouth.  I always wanted a nice polaroid of me, my first born child, and a wild beard.  So, expect to see a follicle come back sometime in the next year or so.


How's Whitny doing? Any good stories about her boss at work as of late?

The only one that comes to mind is her manager going into her boss’s (owners) office when the boss had his 2 and 3 year old children sitting in the office all day.  She said she saw the two year old holding a napkin with a turd on it.  The manager quietly shut the door and went to tell the boss.  The funny thing is that the boss just shrugged and kept working downstairs.  I keep picturing the office after an hour of that.


Another funny story that always makes me laugh is the infamous "F--- you Andy!" story from Havasupi. Would you mind explaining what went down?

Glad this story is not too embarrassing for anyone and it never gets old.  I was hiking out of Havasupi after we made a quick 24 hour trip.  I was exhausted laying on a rock when along comes these two kids up the trail.  One turns off the trail and starts heading up a ravine.  His name’s Andy.  I tell him he’s off the trail and he tells me he knows of a short cut that gets you to the top.  I immediately perk up and follow him.  I get to talking to his buddy for a while and before I know it I am a good mile+ up this ravine and it is going nowhere.  Suddenly I realize I either need to go back the way I came or just hike out of the ravine to the trail.  I try convincing Andy’s friend to come with us but he won’t leave Andy.  I decide to hike out the ravine.  Once I get up top I realize there is another ravine that I need to hike down and back up or go back the way I came.  I decide to go through the next ravine.  There were about 3-4 ravines before I finally hit the trail.  Once I got up on the trail I looked back, and miles away was Andy.  He had a bright flashlight and he had followed that canyon until it turned to a 2000ft sheer cliff, and his light was searching the cliff for a way out.  Something had to be said, but not much else came to my mind.


 To finish up, do you have any advice for the up and coming Bolts of Thunder generation?

Have fun while you can.

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