Friday, December 21, 2012

Chocolate chip theivery

This is your Christmas post for the year, so let Bolts of Thunder wish all of you a very warm Merry Christmas!!! So this last week I was reminded of a funny incident when I was a child. I don't know if I've told other members of my family, so this might be the first time they've heard this story. But it wouldn't shock any of them, that's for sure...

The worth of chocolate to a child is equivalent to the worth of gold to an adult. That being said, you could imagine my thrill as a 10 year old when I stumbled upon a couple gallon container filled to the brim and overflowing with chocolate chips. My mom had obviously found them on clearance at Price Club and had stocked up on them. A couple years worth of chocolate chip cookies right there. She hadn't anticipated on her kids snooping around in the walk-in pantry, so they were not too heavily guarded or hidden. I found them during a game of hide n seek, and I had been staking out in the pantry for quite some time. I guess I got a little curious... So I opened this container, found the chocolate chips, and knew right then that the universe wanted me to find those chocolate chips. Not wanting to offend the universe, and figuring nobody would notice if a handful or two were missing from the pot, I helped myself to a few healthy servings of chocolate chips. More than a few. I went crazy. Not wanting others to discover them and consequently having to share with others, I hid the chocolate chips and decided to come back later for more. Over the next week, I made frequent visits to the pantry where I locked myself in the dark, quickly shoved handfuls of chocolate chips in my mouth, dropping a few on the ground in my haste, and getting out of there before anyone could find me. I remember playing legos with Matt one time in our room, telling him I had to do something downstairs, running down there to help myself to a handful of chocolate chips, then coming back without saying anything to Matt. Or this other one time someone walked through the kitchen when I was in the pantry, and I prayed they wouldn't open the door on my. And let me tell you, that little boys prayers were answered that day.... I remember thinking to myself as I walked out of the pantry, checking to make sure the coast was clear, "why do I got to such risks to eat chocolate?" But it didn't matter. It was too late. I was addicted.

You'd be surprised how fast a big bucket of chocolate chips can get eaten by a 10 year old. I seriously ate about half that bucket in a weeks time. We're talking the equivalent of 10+ bags of chocolate chips. Man, I feel so ashamed writing this right now... This story is all too familiar. One time I ate an entire jar of marshmallow cream while hiding in the pantry (I found it after I found the chocolate chips. The chocolate made me curious as to what other goodies I might find in the pantry. I stumbled upon a jar of marshmallow cream. Yeah, that stuff comes in jars). I felt really guilty after but lacked the courage to turn myself in. So I simply put the empty bottle of marshmallow cream back into the pantry hoping the whole thing would just blow over. It didn't. My mom found it a couple days later and has refused to let the issue drop since then. My Christmas present from her last year was an empty jar of marshmallow cream in some sort of act of strange, cynical payback. Anyway, chocolate chips.

So I finally had to come to terms with my addiction and stop eating them. I decided to go into the pantry one last time for a good bye session of chocolate chip snack down, but my mom must have picked up my sent and moved the bucket somewhere else where I couldn't find them. I was so sad and relieved at the same time that I didn't have to eat that chocolate anymore. But that's when I discovered the marshmallow cream...

I don't know why I've decided to share this story, but I did mention Christmas in it, so there's my tie-in. But I will be honest in saying that I try to share now. Much more than I ever did then at least... Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

AJ's skate park edit

Disclaimer: While this video does, indeed, feature members of Bolts of Thunder, this is not a Bolts of Thunder Lucas Art production. Any opinions or views expressed therein are not representative of Bolts of Thunder and its affiliated subsidiaries.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Happy Birthday

Bolts of Thunder would like to wish a very happy birthday to two of Bolts of Thunder's hall of famers, Nick and Dan!!!! It was Nick's birthday yesterday and Dan's today. I don't even know when Dave's birthday is... Dave, when's your birthday? And I call myself a friend... In memory of our two shirtless crusaders, I've got some of my favorite pictures of each, including the Nickcentric Universe (which, in my theory, explains a lot of mysterious roof-hopping skills and front rocks in unfriendly ditches) and the meanest Dan Eastwood snarl you're ever going to see. The rest is exactly what you'd expect: Dan catching airs and grabbing his board whilst demonstrating the power of Shaw DNA and Nick finding himself between a rail and a hard spot and grinding his way through. Happy birthday, guys!!!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Take that finger and stick it some place else!

I had no idea that 7 year old girls could be so detrimental to one's confidence. But in reality, they're probably the most detrimental of all demographics. Just ask Matt about being tormented by these seemingly harmless first graders as he tried to sell them reasonably priced ice cream. Don't get me started, or I'll tell Matt's ice cream man story again... So we were skating a week or so ago, and these two little girls walking down the sidewalk flipped me off after I apologized to them for startling them as me and Zak rode by to film a line. It was truly a sad moment in my life to see such innocence trampled on by middle fingers in an act of pure, unadulterated revenge. But so you know, whoever you are you little 7 year old girls, you'll never break, never break, never break, never break... this heart of stone.

To lighten up your winter day, let Matt smile at you as he reminds you that yes, he has graduated from college.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Oldie but Greatie

Before viewer ratings drop significantly, I thought I'd put something up. This is an oldie but a greatie. A classic Matt, Nick, Jon, and scooter combo is something to be treasured. Nobody would know it, but Matt put his life at great risk to get this picture. That little scooter kid is just a random kid that we met at the park that day, and he is directly over Matt's head. I don't know why we even thought of letting the kid jump over Matt that way, but Matt held the  pose perfectly every try, then let out in horror after the kid landed.

So this picture was pretty hard to get. These were the days before smart phones were really smart at all, and Nick had a camera on his phone. But it was the unpredictable kind that had like a 3 or 4 second delay on it. So we kept trying to take the picture, but the kid was long gone by the time the camera even took anything. We had to measure the kid's speed, the camera's delay, add some wind variation and what not in there, and we discovered that if Nick pushed the camera button when the kid had ridden about a foot down the bank on the other side of this launch, the camera would take the picture at just the right moment. It finally worked, and this wonderful piece of art and memory is the direct result of hard work, planning, and perseverance. Three principles that are fairly new to Bolts of Thunder but might prove useful at times... I would like to end this post by drawing attention to Matt's controlled facial expression while unproven aggression floats hazardously overhead. The sign of a true master.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Words of wisdom from a wise man

"So I've been reading your Bolts of Thunder blog man. I hereby ordain you, master story teller of the universe."        - Kieth Birkett

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Game Changer

So I've got some strange news for you all. Apparently this blog has a limit of how many pictures I can add, and I've hit that limit. So I won't be able to add anything new to it unless I pay money, and we all know that that's never going to happen. So I've put up a couple pictures that have already made their way onto this blog. So I'm not quite sure what to do, but I'm thinking of starting a new blog where I can keep putting up pictures for free. But I don't know, and I guess we'll just see.

Also, I'm still in the process of moving in to my new place and getting used to American food, so I haven't been writing much. When I'm not so busy digesting processed foods or moving boxes around, I'll start writing more. Just to give you fair warning that I might not be writing much in the next little bit. But then again, what do I owe anyone? Absolutely nothing. So consider every post from here on out a gift, a gift that should be cherished with your entire being...