Monday, January 31, 2011

The Lonely Shepherd

For all of you who are Brian Hart fans, this is the post you've been waiting for. I, myself, happen to be a huge Brian Hart fan. I've followed and loved his work for the past several decades, and he's only just getting started. We're fortunate enough to have recruited Brian for the up and coming video "Bolts of Thunder Gone Wild", and we're currently tapping into his endless stream of genius and ingenuity to provide you with nothing but the best of what Brian has to offer the skateboard world. His up and coming part has critics saying this might be his best work ever, so you should be impatiently waiting and scrapping every news source for bits of info regarding what he's doing next. And I think I might have misspelled "shepherd" in the trailer. I suck at spelling, and Matt, my spellchecker, wasn't around when I put this up. I apologize to any and all offended at this grievous error on my part...

Dave, so healthy right now

This is Dave's first face shot and formal introduction. Let me tell you what I know about him. His name is David McDonald, he's 2somethin, 28 maybe?... He lives in Paris with his wife Lauren right now, and she's the one that took these pictures. I will tell you straight up that Dave's one of the coolest people you could meet. If you're reading this and you haven't met Dave, then I'm sorry, and I hope you get that chance in the future. I know a lot of people, like I have friends that I skate with, friends that I... well, no, the only friends that I have, I skate with them. But all of the people on Bolts of Thunder, Dave included, are more than just skating friends, but friends for any occasion. So Dave's rad, he's super funny, and he's crazy on his skateboard. So skating with him is always fun, even when he's stressing over a trick, because he refuses to give up until he lands it. Or until he annihilates his skateboard, which has been known to happen. Ok, so now that  you know Dave a little better, let me draw your attention to the first picture. First, you'll notice Dave's beard. It's coming in healthily and strong. Why, you ask, and how can this be? Let me answer your question with another question: Do you see what Dave's holding in his hands? That, my friends, is an apple. A really bright one too, meaning it's chock full of nutritious vitamins, minerals, and carbohydrates that keep Dave's mane silky smooth, full, and healthy. Down here at Bolts of Thunder, we only eat the finest of foods so that our bodies are healthy and strong, and so that we can give you only the highest quality video entertainment. Such are the sacrifices we've chosen to make. If you didn't make the cut to be in the next video, "Bolts of Thunder Gone Wild", coming August 2011, it's probably because of what you're eating. Let me draw your attention to the next photo. You will notice that Dave is out of focus, and I, who am filming, am in focus. I'm going to reveal to you a secret of mine. I do all I can to be in the background of every picture that is taken on the skate scene, even if it means pretending to film a friend, then telling him after he lands his trick that I wasn't really filming but just wanted to be in the picture. That's been known to happen as well... Just to clear things up, the pictures where you see me filming, that footage probably won't turn  out so hot. The pictures where you see Matt filming, that footage will more likely than not be good...
Photos: Lauren Cooper

Friday, January 28, 2011

Bolts of Thunder Gone Insane

I don't even seem to care that Nick's grinding a rail right in front of me. I'm just staring at that thing in my hands. Sorry Nick, I didn't realize you wanted my attention so bad, skating right in front of me like that. And what are you thinking grinding that rail with another rail like 3 inches away from it?... So here we are filming for the up and coming Bolts of Thunder video, "Bolts of Thunder Gone Wild". By the looks of things, Nick is going pretty wild, if not crazy. Maybe teetering on insanity? "Bolts of Thunder Gone Insane". Yeah, that's a possibility. Gone completely insane...

This is a call out!

So me and Matt have discovered the funnest thing in skateboarding: old school boards. We've gone full circle. It's like for years we were trying to find happiness in all the wrong places.... like people that drink alcohol. We ride these things all around town now, terrorizing grass hills and what not. These things plow over cracks with their soft wheels, so it's always a smooth ride... Anyway, we're getting pretty creative on these things, so be expecting some sweet old school board footy in "Bolts of Thunder Gone Wild" (registered at K-Mart). Riding these around reminds me of when I was 5 years old and afraid of skateboards because Matt chipped one of his teeth riding on one. Matt and Brian, my oldest brother, were riding on their knees, and Matt hit a rock, fell forward, and chipped his tooth. I remember thinking as a 5 year old that I would never touch such a dangerous and reckless "toy", if a skateboard could even be considered that. Here I am now, 21 years later, flaunting myself and laughing at my 5 year old self, calling him a coward and challenging him to a fist fight. I could take him. But Matt and Brian's 7 and 9 year old selves are pretty cool, they skated, I'd hang out with them for sure. I'm not calling them out...

It Was This Big

Thursday, January 27, 2011

You're Violent!

Every time I see this picture, I think of eating at the noodle place in Salt Lake. You know which one I'm talking about. So we were up here skating in Salt Lake, me (Jon, doing the ollie), my brother Matt (ready to catch me in case I clip the edge), Dave (taking paparazzi shots in the background), Dan, and Sam Milianta. If you've never met Sam, he's one of the coolest people you'll meet in your life. If you have met him, I'll let you be the judge of his coolness. He's the only skate historian that I know of, and he's the best one if there are any others. Like he can quote conversations that Jason Dill had with Salmon Agah 20 years ago at a coffee shop in New York. And Sam wasn't even there. He just knows that the conversation took place, and he knows what was said. Don't ask me how. He just knows. So you can talk to him about random skate trivia for hours, and he's always got something new to say. It's always a good time... Anyway, I think of noodles when I see this picture. I'm thinking of noodles right now. And I know what you're thinking of now too. You're thinking that if I was the only thing that stood between you and a hot plate of noodles, you'd crush my skull with a rock just to get it. Yeah, you're violent... But I'm thinking the same thing. So next time you think you got the upper hand on me, you best be making sure I don't got a rock in my hand because when push comes to shove, and you're the only thing between me and that hot plate of noodles, I will not hesitate to use my rock...

Nick is lazy

Seeing as I haven't introduced Nick with a face shot, I was going to do that right now. But after looking at this picture, several soul stirring thoughts entered my mind and caused me to reflect upon things. Does Nick have a lazy eye? Can one truly "own" a lazy eye, or is a lazy eye something one receives, but must give back one day? Are we care takers of our lazy eyes? Why does the universe choose some to have lazy eyes while others not? (questions inspired by debates I've had with philosophy major retards and Terence Malick) Well, seeing as we clearly established that the universe is Nick-centrick, and there were none who refuted that, I assume you're all on board with the new program. If Nick is the center of the Universe, and the Universe is what decrees who will or won't have lazy eyes, Nick is in charge of his eye laziness. In this photo, I captured Nick in a moment of laziness. Give the man a break, he's busy and needs to just be lazy every now and then. But 99% of the time, my boy Nick is not lazy and keeps his eyes linearly aligned so as to see clearly and not offend others. Thanks Nick, for choosing not to be lazy. All y'all, I present to you, Nick Edwards (masses cheering and clapping)!!!!!!

chillin time

I thought I'd put this up. This is Garrett Taylor and Matt Hart. They are chillin. What else can I say? Seeing Garrett with a camera is a common sight these days, as he's a big filmer. He's down in Vegas and has all the spots carefully organized in his spot book. I've gone on more trips with him than I have with any other person, besides my family, and I've never once been annoyed with him. I'm writing this in hopes of infiltrating his next video that should be coming out soon, I'll let you know when I have details. But lets all just hope that Bolts of Thunder can rear its ugly little head somewhere in that video... And that's a common sight to see for Matt. He's holding his fingers up to his neck like they do in the Russian mofia. Matt found out he might have some "Ruse" in him, so he's brushing up on his mofia skills.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Apollo Something

We did it boys!!!! We landed on the moon. That moon being the Transworld website. All we had to do was get Dave to jump onto a rail without his skateboard, potentially breaking a couple ribs and whatnot... Not a bad payoff for a little coverage!!!! Good job Dave, you deserve this one...


So, apparently Galileo had it wrong. Shame too... Not that I want to discredit the guy, but after I saw Nick roll off a roof with a broken wrist and broken foot, Newton's laws and all that weren't jiving with what I seen. Seriously, how do you roll off a roof onto a makeshift landing pad with a jacked up foot, broken wrist, and sprained other wrist? After I saw that, we set out at the lab to figure out what was going on, and this is the new model we came up with: the Nick-Centric Universe model. It seems to be the only thing that makes sense in this troubled world anymore... And I rather liked the sun being at the center of the universe. Thanks a lot Nick for rolling off that roof... This is what happens when I can't sleep. At two in the morning, this seemed like a really funny/good idea. Now I'm kind of partial as to how clever it really is, but I'm not about to abandon a project. No, I would never do that. And why, you ask, would I not abandon a project? Because I'm just too loyal, I respond to you.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Dave Gone Wild


This is a quick trailer of Dave that we threw together. We filmed it in Paris, it was a hubba that we found. It was this crappy cement that chips really easily, and it had traces of wax on it, but not enough to grind. But being motivated to skate a hubba, me and dave pushed through. I tried to 5-0 it, stuck, fell into the street (a freeway off-ramp, pretty dangerous...), and ripped my hands open. Unfazed by seeing his comrade stick on the hubba, dave kept skating it. He tried to 50-50 it, and his next try he stuck just like me and fell into the road as well. He sprained his wrist, but nothing serious. These dutch kids we met were there and turned my little camera on for me before we tried it. Enjoy!
Bolts of Thunder Gone Wild Trailer 

Son, Get Down!

So here I am skating in Paris. That's right kids, jonny's been all over the place. This should make you respect me more, the fact that my wheels have touched foreign soil. So I was in Geneva for an internship for a couple months, and Dave and his wife are currently in Paris on and internship as well. We were able to meet up once in Geneva and twice in Paris while I was there, and rest assured, we shredded. We reserved the entire Saturday to skate, but Mother Nature turned her back on us this day and dumped water all over the city. But fortunately enough for us, Dave and his wife Lauren had been street wanderers and homeless for like 3 weeks when they first went to Paris, and Dave had been able to scope out a bunch of skate spots while street wandering. One of the spots was this covered wallride spot, a perfect spot for a rainy day. And we even convinced Lauren to come with us to hang out and take pictures. So it was a family outing in the slums of the city. Getting to the spot requires pretending like you're a sardine on the metro along with thousands of other people and not making eye contact with any other passengers. Not a hefty price to pay to skate such a fun spot. Besides the thick cracks and human feces you have to maneuver through, this is an awesome spot to skate. After skating this spot for a while, we called up this guy Jean Marc that we had met a couple days before. Jean Marc is 35 and just started skating, so you've got to take your hat off to him. He refuses to step on his skateboard unless he's protected, including a red helmet and wrist guards. He's a chain smoker and literally asked every person that walked by for a cigarette, even the colony of bums that lived under the bridge where we were skating. That has nothing to do with this picture, but it was fun skating with him... Fun in Paris
Hart-breaker, Wallride. Photo: Lauren Cooper

Varial Trippin

I'm going to say this without bragging. I found this spot. There, I said it. It's true though. I was driving with some friends down the road that's nearest to this spot, I looked out the window, and i saw a flat gap. I told my brother and the Bolts of Thunder crew, and we came out here to find the gap. When we found it, all the re-bar was sticking up like octopus tentacles just waiting to grab you and suck you into the vagrant feces-filled pit at the bottom. Me and Matt bent the re-bar back, and soon enough, the gap was skateable. A couple months later I had an article in SLUG, and Weston and I were taking photos for that. Actually, we were taking pictures of Weston kickflipping over a motorcycle, then we went to that dangerous powerbox that I always try to kill myself on. I tried to 5-0 it for a picture, slipped out right when I got onto it, and landed straight onto my back on the ground. That was like the 4th bad slam I had had on that power box, so I was pretty pissed. I swore and threw my board on the ground as hard as I could and cracked my skateboard. What else was I supposed to do? Ironically enough, the picture of the 5-0 was the only skating picture of me in the SLUG article, but it was the only trick I didn't land. I had already landed it a few months earlier, so we felt it appropriate to get the picture of it since we had the footage to show everyone... Feeling defeated but needing to get one more picture, we made our way to this gap where I got a varial flip over it. Me and Matt bent the re-bar some more so that it would look good in the picture, and Weston voluntarily went into the vagrant feces-filled pit to take the picture. What a good friend... After I got this, we went back to the bump over motorcycle where Weston kickflipped it. We got the picture and filmed it. All in a day's work...  Here's the link if anyone cares to read the article:
Hart-breaker, Varial Flip. Photo: Weston Colton


Photo: Weston Colton

To me, this picture sums up the first Bolts of Thunder video. Let me give you a little background. First off, I wanted to 50-50 the power box and gap out over the dirt at the bottom for no other reason other than our video was coming out soon and I wanted to have cool tricks in my part. Keep in mind that I was 25, almost 26, and my body doesn't heal as quickly as it did when I was 18; I am not sponsored, nobody cares if I grind 20 stair rails or slappy grind curbs for my part-nobody is going to pay me, buy my products, or worship me; I'm a full time university student, I have other prospects in life than skateboarding; and last but not least, I don't like slamming, so I shouldn't try things where I slam. So it's kind of funny to me that I put such high expectations on myself to do a crazy trick. I wanted to do it for a long time, and I had tried it before but broke my board. Then my friend Garrett came up from Vegas to film and skate for the weekend, so I got a hold of Weston Colton who wanted to take the picture. All this organizing ahead of time got me stressed out because now I actually had to do the trick. I went to the spot the night before and put cones and ply wood in the parking spot in front of the box so it'd be doable the next day. I hardly slept at all that night because I was so nervous about it. The next morning at like 9 I showed up with my brother Matt who's always encouraging when you're in a tight spot. We came with Garrett, and Weston showed up shortly to take pictures. Then dave showed up just to watch me slam. I was sweating so bad just from being nervous. My second try is the slam, so you can see the sweat swamp between my legs as proof of how nervous I was. Due to the fact that I'm a veteran at slamming, I was able to ninja my way through the air as to minimize casualties. I mean, look at the veins in my arms and muscles in my neck preparing my body for impact. Yeah, my body knows what it's doing. I elbowed myself in the stomach and couldn't eat without having stomach pain for a week, and my hips hurt pretty bad. but all in all, I walked out unscathed. Garrett is watching me and thinking to himself, "man, we're not going to get the trick. I drove all the way here for nothing..." Yeah, you were right Garrett, sorry... Weston was able to keep his cool and snap off this amazing shot. Thanks...
So this represents bolts of thunder because we all pushed ourselves to ride off of roofs, fly through the air, and wreck ourselves just because we wanted to have a sweet video. so next time you watch the video, just keep that in mind...

Putchyo Hands Togetha!

Seeing this is the first day I've ever used a blog, and it is a Bolts of Thunder blog we are working with here, I felt it would be appropriate to post Nick's part from Bolts of Thunder. I will post all the parts eventually. But Nick's should be first. This part was Matt and mine's (Jon) brainchild. Matt had wanted to use Nick's intro song, ELO, for quite some time. We knew would could make it like an epic movie trailer or something. So we set out to film Nick in whatever situation so that we could get different facial expressions from him. We got pretty lucky that Nick grew out a mustache because that accentuated all of his expressions. It worked out perfectly, we got a really good intro for him. Then the song for his part went perfectly with the skating-fast, raw, and all up in yo face. Nick did some pretty amazing tricks and skated terrain that no one else even wanted to skate. His roof drop was an act of bravery and should go in the record books as a heroic move by a man motivated out of loyalty to his team, friends, wife, and future kids. Yes, Nick had all of this in mind, and more, as he rolled off a rotten roof onto a makeshift landing pad fabricated out of cinder blocks taken from Dave's old house and a piece of metal found on location. Pretty amazing if you ask me. Even if you've already seen it, take another look, it deserves it...

Skate Thug Poetry

Matt Hart's part from Bolts of Thunder

Bad "A" Scoot Shot

This picture is rad. Taken at the Payson skatepark on Nick's blackdingleberry hand-held device, we got this 12 year old scooter kid to launch over matt. Even though the launch was pretty big, I'm more impressed with Matt's demonstration of self-mastery in this picture. Look at the confidence on his face. I wasn't very confident about this jump. I kept thinking the scooter was going to take matt's head off. I mean, this is only a 12 year old kid, why should we trust him with matt's life? And Nick's phone didn't take pictures right away, you had to press the button like 3 seconds before you wanted it to take the picture. It took us like 8 tries to finally get it right. We figured out that if Nick took the picture when the kid was 2 feet down the bank before the launch, it would take the picture right when he was over Matt's head. And voila. So as I was sitting safely in the back, Matt was in the front lines of the action, and not even flinching. So take a look at that confidence and self-mastery written all over his face. It reminds me of Uma Therman's ninja trainer on Kill Bill, the guy with the long beard that teaches her how to stop people's hearts. Well here, Matt has learned how to stop your heart, metaphorically speaking. I don't know what that metaphor is, but come on, be creative, I'm sure you'll think of some connection to what I'm talking about. I'm in the background trying to get any coverage a man like me can get; minimal and in the background, at best...

Too Sexy for His Shirt

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce Dan Shaw (applaud here). Yeah ladies, that's right, he's not even wearing his shirt. Neither is Nick, but he's taken, so you just get dan, 100% pure unadulterated Dan. So here is Dan, Matt, and Nick skating at the Eagle Mountain skatepark and dan is flying through the air. Let me tell you what's amazing about dan. He's a super hero. He doesn't have to practice, warm up, or even try. He just does stuff. Not just with skating, but with anything: juggling eggs, throwing gummie bears in the air and catching them in his mouth, snowboarding, biking, making clothes, and razorscootering, just to name a few of the many things that effortlessly does better than 95% of the world population. Yeah, I said razor scootering. No joke, he tailwhipped like an 8 stair back in high school on a razor scooter. And he doesn't even ride those things. He just picked it up and did it. Most of the tricks in his part in the first video, he just went out and did them without warming up or anything. He could have filmed just as cool of a part in a biking video or anything. Do you get what I'm trying to say? Dan is amazing at whatever he does, and it's inexplicable to all who see it. So here is Dan flying through the air. He just learned how to ollie out of half pipes, as opposed to early grabbing out of halfpipe, and he's like 3 feet out of the coping. pretty amazing, so take your hat off for him... and your shirt...

Nick's Ninja Kicks

Nedward Skilletfingers himself showing the world what a man depraved of fear, care, and a thought of tomorrow can do while hopped up on love from his friends. Heyo yeah! This is Nick Edwards doing a ninja scissorkick into a board grind down a ledge. Before this day, I had never seen nick do a kickflip into a grind, slide, or primo stall. nothing. But all of a sudden, Nick pulled it out on this ledge. Feeling an itch to film with my new fisheye, I threatened to film the trick. Nick said that if I filmed it, he would do it. Being a man of honor, a man of his word, Nick got the trick on film. Now all you little kids reading this and looking at this picture, you who flip in and out of any grind or slide you do, you ain’t impressed. Infact, you’re saying to yourselves, “man, I can do that, why am I not filming for ‘Bolts of Thunder Gone Wild’, why don’t I get a part in the video?” Well listen up you effen skater punk mother effers (a hick in St. George at the rodeo called me and my brother that when we were kids because he thought we were “spookin” his horse. Eric Ivey, well trained in the art of fighting, threatened to hit the hick with his skateboard and diffused the situation. Now I’m using the term as my own, except I’m not saying the real F words, I’m using replacements instead. And why, you ask yourself, would I not use the F word? Because my momma taught me better than that!), you’re not having a part in our video because I don’t know who you are. But if you can flip in and out of every slide and grind you can do, send me your resume and quick sponsor video, and we’ll see what we can do for you… But for the time being, why don’t you just appreciate this picture? That’s me filming nick, fully hooded like a dark Sith Lord and exposing my backside all up in yo faces!

Jonny talkin

This is me. My hands are torn to shreds, as they usually are, getting in the way of my racquetball game… Seeing as this is my first post, I think introductions are in order. My name is Jon Hart, and I represent the 26 year old in all of us that loves to fall on his hands and make skateboard movies. I’m part ring-leader of the underground misfit rebel group commonly known to you as “Bolts of Thunder”, my brother Matt being the other ring leader. In the past year or so, we have managed to make a video consisting of old, washed up skaters that are still holding onto the dream. Quite an accomplishment for everyone involved…. This blog is meant to be a means of informing the 2 or three 3 people a year that read it about Bolts of Thunder’s latest episodes, including progress on our up and coming video “Bolts of Thunder Gone Wild”, and the stupid ideas for trailers that we come up with. To watch our videos, you can go to youtube, we post everything there…. Good luck navigating your way through this potentially painful and torturous blog…

Proudly Presents....

Introducing Matt Hart. Matt is my brother. He's co-creator of this misfit band of reject skaters known as Bolts of Thunder. Much of what you see in the video (I assume you religiously watch the video) comes from Matt's head and onto the silver screen. But most of what he does is undercover and behind the scenes, he prefers it that way. Matt represents the minority of bearded skaters in the world and is calling out to skaters everywhere to allow the hair follicles on your faces to grow freely and without constraint. Matt has super jedi persuasion skills, so he's a handy one to have in your corner when you're trying a trick you're not sure about because he'll build up your confidence so you land the trick. If you meet matt, don't be frightened, because like grizzly bears, great whites, and ninjas, he's more afraid of you than you are of him.

Dave is Crazy

Photo: Sam Milianta

Let me fill you all in on what's going down here.  So Dave has 3 days left to film for his part in the first video.  We're stressing like we were filming for the new Zero video and Jamie Thomas was shoving his fisheye up our anuses, demanding that we get footage or resign.  And Dave is at the forefront of the insanity.  He hasn't had a sound night's sleep in like a month, and his body is beat to shreds.  He's wearing a wrist guard at all times and maybe an ankle brace from having jacked up his ankles.  He just needs to get a few more tricks for his part, and so he decides to go out in a blaze of glory.  We were up in Salt Lake with a bunch of homies.  Sam Milianta took this picture, Garrett is filming with the fisheye, Jimmy Atkin is in the background, I'm (Jon) filming with my camera, and Matt's on high def camera guard duty.  There was like 6 other people there too.  So we went to all these different spots and couldn't find anything to skate, we kept getting kicked out of spots.  Dave and Sam verbally duked it out with a guy that tried taking Sam's flash just before this, so nerves were on edge.  After getting kicked out of all the spots, we decided to do what every skater does in Salt Lake when presented with time constraints on filming: Go to the University of Utah.  So there we go, we park, Dave sees this gap, and with no hesitation says, "yeah, I'm doing it."  Just like that, a moment later my good friend was hurling his body off this 8 foot drop gap.  The gap is just crazy, with a curb at the top and these heinous cracks you have to plow through before you hit the gap.  With 10 or so people filming, watching, placing bets on whether or not he would land it, and ultimately just lurking, Dave jumped off this gap unfazed.  His first 2 tries he kicked the board out and bruised his hells.  Not caring about how hurt he was, he kept going for it.  He slammed hard like 8 times on it.  Limping up the stairs each time he didn't make it, Dave kept trying until he rode away.  It was nuts.  My brother Matt said that Dave's eyes got huge when he realized he was rolling away at the end.  It was a moment of joyous celebration...  We were all motivated after that, and I tried to kickflip over a rail for almost 2 hours after that.  I finally landed it, but I definitely would have given up if Dave hadn't landed the gap earlier.  You've go to give it to him, he's pretty amazing...