Ok, the people have spoken loud and clear. I will not argue with you, although I might not agree with you. But I respect you answer. Silence. You think I can't do that either, just be silent? Well that's it, if you're going to be silent, I'm going to be silent too! From now on, I'll be silent. Then you'll see what it's like to be with someone that's silent! From now on, I won't talk anymore! Then you'll see how I feel. Silence, from now on..... ...... .... I'm not going to say another word.... ... for the rest of the post! .. .....
So the other day I remembered this really bizarre incident from a couple years back, and it's come up a couple more times in my mind in the last day, so I thought I'd share it with you. Not that this story is in any way related to your life, my life, or life in general. It teaches you no life stories, it will probably leave you feeling confused, but it might entertain you. When I say this happened a couple years back, I mean that it happened when I was like 12 or something. So a couple years back means 15 years ago and then some... And don't ask me what reminded me of this story, I don't know what did, and I don't know why my brain didn't put it in the recycle bin years ago. But anyway, it's still in the memory bank, so I'm going to share it with you. Probably because it's so bizarre, that's why I still remember it. Alright, Jon, get on with the story! Seriously, I've read two full paragraphs of crap already while I wait to hear this story. Just get on with it! Well fine then, I will....
So those of you who don't know my mom all that well, she's the cutest and cuddlest little mother you'll ever meet in your life. She's barely pushing 5'2"... no, I lied, 5' 3/4". I cannot tell a lie... She can make the best plate of cookies you've ever tasted in your life, and she'll do it for you in a heart beat. Long story short, she's a sweet woman, and a fun one to hang out with. But don't let her friendliness fool you. Do not equate coolness/friendliness for pushoverness, because she will not be pushed around! I put an exclamation mark there to emphasize the point, if you even try to push her around, you few people in the world that dare, you will not make it far because she will plant her 5'2" body firmly on the ground and refuse to budge an inch. That's one thing I admire about her because I'm a pretty big push over. Anyway, so we lived in this neighborhood in St. George of old people. It wasn't a retirement home community, but it was designed and intended to be one, and we were the only young family that lived in the area. All kinds of hell would break loose as a result of age differences between us and our neighbors on a regular basis, and I'll just sum it up by saying we were pretty hated by everyone. So that didn't help when my mom went to the community pool house and walked in on one of the more established, well-respected members of the community having sex with a woman that was not his wife in the hot tub. When I tell you he was an older man, we're talking retired, wrinkly, slumped over, shriveled appendages old man. That all applies for the old woman too, she was quite aged and disgusting herself. My little sister was with my mom and is probably still suffering PTS from the situation, and my mom thoroughly rebuked the old people. To make things worse, he was a member of our church, so this was a pretty sad thing to see. The old man denied it all to his dying breath (he didn't die, but his heart rate, I would imagine, was probably dangerously high for a man of his age), and we didn't have the required reputation or video/photo proof necessary to convict him and get his pool-using privileges revoked. Yeah, my mom fought it all the way up to the highest levels of the community management, and we lost... They honestly said that they only way they would believe us is if we had pictures. Crazy old people...
So a couple weeks went on and my mom forbid us from using the hot tub because he had spread "his disease everywhere in it!" Yeah, none of us wanted to go in those murky waters anyway... But the pool house had other privileges that we enjoyed, such as ping pong, a pool table, and a gym. So I went there with my mom a couple weeks later to play some ping pong or something, and who do you think we saw in the hot tub? The funny thing was that the old man and old woman didn't see or hear us walk in to the pool house because the hot tub is on the other side of a glass door, and they were too preoccupied to notice us walk in. My initial response was to hide because it was a disgusting sight seeing old people make out, but my mom wouldn't have it. In the mouth and eyes of two or more witnesses shall every accusation be made, as the good book says, or at least that's how I interpret it... So my mom had me walk behind her as we walked through the changing room and into the pool room where we flipped on the lights in the hot tub and exposed them to the light. The old man screamed "turn off the lights!!!" and the old woman hurried out of the hot tub. All she was wearing was a shirt, and she looked really embarrassed. The old man looked furious, but my mom was even more furious. "You don't EVER talk to my son like that!!!!" I was the one that turned on the lights, so we assumed they were screaming at me. The old man was shocked at the fight my mom was ready to bring. "Well I don't like the bright ligh-" the old man started "NO!!! You don't EVER talk to ME or MY FAMILY LIKE THAT!!!!" I've known few things for sure in my life. One of them is don't play with guns kids, people die that way. The second thing I knew for sure, and I knew it for sure at this moment, was you don't talk to me or my family like that. That was for sure. That shut the old guy up pretty fast, but she was ready for blows if it came to that. I was super awkward seeing old people in that situation, but I'd have to say, I was pretty proud of my mom for standing up to him like that. I wouldn't have.
So we turned the guy in, and he denied it again, even when we had several witnesses. As part of a long conspiracy against my family, our magnetic cards to get into the pool house were eventually demagnetized, and we lost all pool privileges. But my mom sent a message pretty loud and clear to the retired community of St George that day - you don't talk to our family like that! As far as I can remember, the old people hated us even more, but they left us alone after that. We lived out the rest of our days in that home hated and despised by our neighbors, and we didn't care. We skated there driveways by day and ran on the golf course by night, but they didn't do anything to us again....
As you tried hard to get the image of the old people and their dirty deeds out of your mind for the weekend, study Brian Barlow's frontside airtime in the mega ramp. My wife took these pictures...
No comments:
Post a Comment