This is Zak Smith. If you're in the market for Zak Smith, this is where you come. I don't know what you'd do with him, but I can tell you what he'd do with you. He'd crooked grind you till there was nothing left to grind. This post is sounding really strange and isn't starting off the way I intended. Let's restart.
So Zak Smith rips. These photos are proof of that. Well, the first photo, at least. The second photo is the limited edition Zak Smith portrait shot. I say he uses this photo when he turns in his mission papers. While we're on the subject, I would like to publicly wish Zak the best in finishing his papers and getting his mission call. Good luck, Zak!
Now that I'm on another tangent, as one thought was randomly led to another, I remembered a couple days ago the very moment that my body started going through puberty. Or at least the day we discovered it. I was 10. A little early, but what can I say, I try real hard... So my mom was worried about me because I said that my groin area itched and hurt some time. Having a family history of plants growing on our bodies where they shouldn't, my mom took no chances and took me to the doctor. Being the first doctors visit I can remember, I now correlate doctors with having to pull your pants down. This proved true a couple weeks ago at my yearly physical. My doctor made me pull my pants down to my knees as I stood in front of him. My wife sat in the corner of the room and laughed. Well, Rachel, you got yours a couple minutes later... I felt like a 4 year old getting in trouble, it was so embarrassing... Anyway, so as a 10 year old, the doctor examined me and proudly pronounced to my mom, "Mrs Hart, your son is going through puberty!" I didn't know what puberty even was, but I remembered from my sex ed class the year before (in 4th grade we watched a video about sex ed. We mostly just laughed when it showed the cartoon profile shots of male genitalia, and my teacher ended up yelling at the class for being immature. Yeah, we were 9 years old, what were expecting from us?), and I knew that hair was going to start growing in dark places. My mom was really proud of me for a couple of days, like I had tried real hard to go through puberty, and now I was succeeding after trying so hard for so long. I didn't do anything, I just played outside. Nonetheless, my mom was quite proud of me and announced it to the family. It was then that my mom's dream of me being in a band called "Jon and the Hairy Stinky Armpits" become a very real possibility. I have yet to live up to this dream...
To end this post, I'll comment on Dave's comment of yesterday's post. No Dave, I actually still have control of my bowels. With all those raw veggies and whole grain that I eat, they're as strong as a horse and as clear as my conscience. I'm holding out on my bowels, and I have no intention of losing those any time soon. Thanks for keeping tabs!
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