Touched by a Grinderman

So I'm sure all of you are avid Nick Cave fans. If you're not, then jump on the bandwagon and become one. Even if you don't like his music, just be a fan. Kind of like how you like Bolts of Thunder although you really don't, but you still read this blog anyway. Same principle, just apply it to Nick Cave. We're only like 3 sentences into this post, and we're off topic already. So when I was in Geneva, Matt sent me an email. That shouldn't surprise you as he sent me an email every day and apologized for the days that he missed. Matt is my source of information from the outside world. I don't have a working computer of my own, I don't watch TV, and when I am on the internet, I only read my emails, so I usually don't know what's going on in pop culture. Or in the world. Like I just found out that the great war ended. I'm years behind... Anyway, Matt always keeps up on latest Charlie Sheen news, Dancing with the Stars, and Nick Cave concerts. So he sent me an email saying that Nick Cave was playing with his band "Grinderman" near Geneva on October 4th, my birthday! So I got myself online and bought myself a one-way ticket to Grinderman. I showed up 2 hours early because I wanted to beat all those Euro dudes to the stage. I got there, ate an avocado sandwich (the bartender gave me a huge knife to cut open my bread and avocado and gave me salt. Nice guy...), and staked out a spot right in front of the stage. As people started piling in, I held my ground and good spot next to the stage. I wouldn't even budge for this cute girl that kept trying to push her way past me. I think I even gave her an elbow. She should know better than to get between me and Nick. Then before the show started, this Australian rodie guy came out and told me to keep this big black box that was in front of me clear because "Nick likes to jump on the box..." Wow! I might even get close to Nick Cave. Maybe I could reach up and secretly touch his pant leg or something.... Things were looking promising. The band came out and was as awesome as ever, even better than what I was expecting. Warren Ellis, the violinist dude, looks like the craziest back-woods hillbilly I've ever seen. I naturally respected him for growing his hair so long amidst the evident balding. A true hero... So they started rocking out, I did my little concert dance I do at concerts. Whitny, you know what I'm talking about. Pinback. Yeah, scary, I know... Then a couple minutes into the show, Nick Cave jumped onto the box right in front of me and pelvic thrusted right over my head. Being the stout pelvic thruster that I am, I prize myself on a healthy, stern pelvic thrust. But I can't hold a candle to the obvious on stage pelvic thrusting experience that Nick Cave has got. I got out my camera and took pictures of it, the first picture of this post being Nick Cave grinding right above my head. Pretty awesome... Yeah, for those of you wondering, I secretly grabbed his pant leg, and this girl next to me turned around and stared at me shamefully for a minute. I don't take it back... The show was awesome, but that's not what you want to know. You want to know what happened to the blooming friendship that Nick and I were nurturing on the box. I will tell you. Nick returned to the box several times and continued his pelvic thrusting. Then, without warning or reason, Nick Cave reached down, grabbed my hand, and used my arm and body strength to support him as he leaned over the crowd and did what Nick Cave does: rock on. With my other free hand, I reached into my pocket, got my camera, turned it on, and took a picture as fast as I could. He held me for about a minute, so I just got off one picture before he let me go, but that's the picture you see above. The gold rings are not mine... They're Nicks. All these people, including the girl that scowled at me for touching his pant leg, cheered for me when he let go. That's what birthdays are made of... Yeah, it was super cool, the best way my birthday and the concert could have gone. And not only do I have the story and memories, but I have the pictures to back up my claims. The second picture is when I was taking a picture, Nick Cave pointed at me because he saw the light on my camera for the flash. I'm telling you, we formed a bond... So next to you see me, just remember that I have been touched by a Grinderman. Have you? Then respect me...