That woman in the pictures at the bottom of the ledge seems to be challenging Dave, playing a very real game of chicken as it were. Dave, accepting her challenge, charged on into heavy traffic down that huge hubba. It was frightening and fun all at the same time. Me and Matt had been in Paris for only a couple hours and we were both super tired. So Dave mostly skated this day and we filmed him. I tried skating a couple different times and scared the crap out of Matt and Dave because I was so tired and off-balance. Dave and Matt both asked me to stop trying to grind these flat bars we ran found because I was almost killing myself every try...
You're probably wondering why I'm writing two posts today. It's to make up for writing one so late yesterday. If you haven't checked the blog since yesterday afternoon, there are 3 new posts waiting for you. If you haven't checked it in more than that, there's an entire Lord of The Rings scenario going full swing. You just walked into the end of the second movie, about... I'm not going to continue that scenario because I still don't know how it will end. But I'll get back to you soon on that...
So I mentioned school in my first post this morning. So I wrote a pretty crappy paper last week and turned it in. It's like trying to disguise a piece of crap as a brownie by putting sugar and butter in it. Doesn't change the fact that it's still crap. Well my teacher took the bate but barely. By the end of the paper, the turd's true coolers started to show, and he almost sniffed it out. But the sweet butter and sugar I added was too strong for him to see through, and he gave me a B-. It was a D paper, hands down. At the end of it, he wrote, "Jon, as noted, this essay is broad, abstract and, honestly, boring. There's ecstatically no evidence for your claims though admittedly lots of reasons. B-" What's ecstatically? Is that a good thing? Are you complimenting my paper? I don't even know how to react to what that means... Anyway, even though he came down on my paper, he still treated pure, unadulterated crap as though it were a half-baked brownie.
Now that I'm on the theme of school, I'm thinking of my route to school. I only live like 3 blocks from campus, but it can be the most dangerous three blocks of your life if you're not careful. I ride my bike and I have to keep a very open eye out for idiot drivers that don't pay any attention to what they're doing. And BYU is stock full of them. So I was riding my bike to school a couple weeks ago and I had to let one rip. I stopped peddling, sat up from my seat to give some room for the fart to come out, and I let her go. It was powerful, strong, and loud. What you'd expect after a hearty brown rice/lentils combo topped off with a stalk of raw broccoli for lunch. It was so loud that I wondered if anyone was in close enough proximity to hear it. When I turned around, a girl was on her bike literally 3 or 4 feet behind me, just glaring at me. Like she was the quarter back and I was the dude that hikes the ball, she was riding my Aye super close. And she looked pissed. I quickly turned around and started clearing my throat really like to try and disguise the fart as just a standard throat clearing. She wasn't convinced and passed me up... I wonder if she farted when she was in front to get back at me? Anyway, I didn't learn from that experience because the next day as I was going to school, I had pretty much the exact same experience and farted in some dudes face behind me on his bike. I turned around again to see if there was anyone there, and I saw him put on his breaks and back off a little. It's like when you ride behind a bus and you get a mouthful of exhaust. That's how I imagine it going down for these people.
You might wonder why I don't just look before I fart. Like the old saying goes, "look before you leap-fart." A leap fart is what you do in PE class in middle school in 7th period. You have a belly full of gas, you do a jumping-jack, and you let her rip. Not on purpose though, every muscle in your body is already contracted to prevent the fart from coming out. But it wasn't enough, the fart was too powerful for your mere mortal body. That's a leap fart. Now that I'm thinking about it, I remember a story that Ammon told me of this kid that was at a church activity and tried to impress the ward by pulling his leg behind his head. As he got his leg up over his head, his body must have twisted in an unnatural position, and the air in his bowels had nowhere left to go but out. A -pitched howler came from his anus in front of the entire ward. He tried cutting off the fart mid go, and as he closed the passage way, a few last fart molecules forced there way out, producing a high-pitched ending to his fart. The kid quickly put his leg back where it belongs, and he sat there in shame. Good stuff...
Ok, I'll try to restart my last paragraph. You might be wondering why I don't just look before I fart, or why I'm even talking about this at all. And all I can say is I don't know. but you read it, so doesn't that make you just as weird as me for indulging yourself in poop and fart stories and analogies? I think it does. Weirdo.
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