I've had this idea for some time, but I finally feel it the appropriate moment to put it on the blog. Much like passing a good stool, an idea must come out at the opportune moment. If it comes out before it's ready, it will come out underdeveloped, sloppy, unorganized, and it will be painful. Conversely, if an idea stays in one's head for too long, the idea will cram the mind, morph into something bitter and angry, and won't come out in its entirety; several writing sessions will be necessary in order to get the idea all the way out. However, if an idea, having been properly prepared and treated with the right amount of attention, love, and patience, comes out when ready, the experience will be pleasant and enjoyable for all. This idea is now ready to come out. If you will therefore allow me, in a sense, to dump my idea onto you, we will proceed...
An idea with an intro like that must be something groundbreaking, right? Sorry to disappoint you, but it's the same stuff I always put out. Just thought I'd pref it with my poop analogy. It's a good analogy, and I give you permission to use it on school exams... Since Bolts of Thunder transcends cultural, ecclesiastical, economical, political, theological, and gangal boundaries, I've applied Bolts of Thunder dynamics to "The Lord of the Rings." What if the entire Bolts of Thunder crew was magically whisked away into Middle Earth and we were all of a sudden the characters of movies/books. Get where I'm going? Think of the fun you can have with this scenario, thinking of who would be who...
Yes, this is the idea that has been occupying my mind as of late, getting in the way of school work and sleep. But not eating or skating because I can think of this scenario when I do both of those. Ok, first off, you're wondering who would be who. First off, who will be Strider? I feel there is a clear answer to the question: Dave McDonald. The hair, the beard, jumping in harms way for the good of the team, and the passion all make Dave the perfect candidate for Strider. With Dave at the helm, we'd get lost in the Mines of Moria and the planes of Rohan for sure, but it'd be a fun experience. And it'd be pretty awesome seeing Dave fight all those orcs and stuff. Oh yeah, and he'd hook up with an elf princess at the end...
Gollum. Who is crazy enough to play Gollum? Wizard. The half-shaved head, 2 feet long hair do, the small frame, and the high endurance for pain make Wizard my Gollum. He seems like the kind of person that could get obsessed with a ring and stop at nothing to get it. Now, I almost chose Wizard to be one of the Wizards, seeing as they share the same name. But Wizard just strikes me as a good Gollum. Even if he's not like Gollum, when after we'd start our scenario, he'd play along as Gollum just to be a good sport. Then he'd slowly morph from his Hobit self into the nasty creature that Gollum is. Yeah, Wizard is Gollum.
Who would be a man? This might sound like an easy question to answer, but we need a real man. A man's man that would be a king of men. One that you could make a giant man statue out of after his death to remember his legacy. I see one and only one person that can fulfill the roll of all men everywhere in Middle Earth. Brian Hart. His beard is a wonder to behold, he has the strength of four men, and he's not afraid. He would lead Rohan to victory and keep the forces of Mordor at bay along the White City, not to mention Minus Tirath. Brian embodies Baromir, the Rohan king when he's not being a pussy, and men in general when they're not being subdued by rings and women. I would follow Brian into battle and into victory. Brian, you have my allegiance.
Now we need a Frodo and a Sam. Frodo has to be a character that everyone likes. He has to be selfless, resourceful, go crazy towards the end. My candidate for Frodo is Sam Milianta. Everyone likes Sam, and he'd probably crawl into Mordor and into the mountain of fire if he had been entrusted with that duty. As Frodo's companion, I'd say Weston was Samwise. I mean, they share a part in the video, they go way back, and I think they'd get along best on the trip.
The elves... Who is beautiful enough, picturesque enough, blonde enough, and in general mystical enough to be an elf? Obvious answer: Dan Shaw. We already know he can't die, so he's a shoe in. Dan would grow golden locks of hair that he could use as a rope to get himself out of any situation. Having had thousands of years of practice he would never miss a shot with his bow. He'd be the perfect Legolas to be with Strider (Dave) in battle. Yeah, this is going to work good because Dave and Dan get along really well, so it's going to make their operations run much smoother. Dan is the perfect elf.
Ok, I have much, much more to say about this scenario, but I have school work that needs some attending to. TBC tomorrow...
Enjoy an epic grassride performed by Bolts of Thunder's Gollum, Wizard.
No comments:
Post a Comment