You have a home

Matt's ice cream man story is already sending shock waves through the industry. The fact that Matt has finally embraced his true self and identity as a windowless van-driving, child-following ice cream man has had astronomical effects in Dave's life, who has finally announced and embraced his true origins. He is a Maori warrior. He always has been. A Maori warrior trapped in a white man's body. And that Maori warrior is ready to burst out of Dave's chest cavity and onto your dining room table. Thank you Dave for having the courage to accept and embrace your true self and to show all the world who you have always been deep down inside. You have since inspired me to show do the same. I am now officially announcing who I truly am: a starving black African child.

And my Mom just announced her career in professional croquet

Whoever you are reading this, whatever you're doing, let out your inner self. Be the ice cream man, Maori warrior, starving African child, or professional croquet player you've always been deep down inside but society would not accept. You have a home at Bolts of Thunder...

Dave's photo by Lauren Cooper