He works hard for his money

Photo: Matt Hart tail whip

So when I left you, you were on the edge of your seat, wondering what adventures another day of ice cream delivering had in store for you. I am here to finish the epic of Matt as the ice cream man. Just for the record, I think these last 4 posts have been quite an accomplishment for Bolts of Thunder. This is our first ever "to be continued" mini series, which is a rare thing in blogs these days. Yeah, the up-coming generation with all their intranet, world-wide web, and texting, they don't know how to carry on a good old fashioned to be continued story. My generation, as with my fathers before more, we used to have to talk to people and make up stories to try and fit in. That's an art this new generation has definitely lost: the art of a good lie. Such a sad thing to lose... I now give you, the final day of Matt, the ice cream man.

So the plan for the second day was pretty much the same as the first day: Matt was going to follow little kids home in a big van with no windows and lots of candy; I was going to tell my friends at the skatepark that buying ice cream from Matt in late November was a good idea; and Brian was going to drive around with his friends looking for Matt so they could get a good picture of him in his van. That's one thing that I really wish would have happened; I wish we got a good picture of Matt driving that van. Although pretty much every acquaintance Matt ever had in St George saw him driving around in that van, Brian couldn't find him. Too bad, that would have made for a really good picture. Thanks for your efforts Brian... So after school, I went to the skatepark with all my friends. My friend Brett Hansen was their too, which was always fun. Brett was the old skater, the oldest of a group of older skaters in St. George. He was 25. How the times have changed... Anyway, I told Brett that Matt was coming in his ice cream van, and he couldn't stop laughing. When Matt pulled up into the parking lot like he had the day before, Brett had to buy ice cream from him. Just to say he did. He didn't want ice cream, he just wanted memories of buying ice cream from my brother. So he went down to the van with $5, then he came back a couple minutes later without any ice cream. I asked him where his ice cream was, and he told me, "Nah... I don't want ice cream, I just wanted buy something from him. I just gave him $5." Yeah, Brett just handed over $5 to Matt, looked at the ice cream for a minute, then said, "you can get some ice cream with that, I'm fine." I believe that was the single most exciting and promising event of Matt's entire ice cream man career: getting paid to eat ice cream by his friends. Maybe this job wasn't so bad after all?... After lurking in the parking lot for a couple more minutes and no buyers, Matt pressed on, ready to follow school buses and children. So when Matt was out driving around, these little girls, I think Matt said they were around 7 years old, called out and asked Matt to wait while they got their money. So Matt sat their in his van for a good 5 or 10 minutes until he heard little girl voices coming from behind the garbage cans, "hey loser!!! We don't want your ice cream, loser!!!" Oh, sweet revenge. I believe the ice cream gods were smiling upon these girls as they gave Matt the same treatment we used to give ice cream men. I guess Matt just had to pay all of our punishment; I've never been harassed by little girls like that. Thanks Matt, you definitely took that one for the team. So these little girls, obviously years ahead of their time as far as pranks and name calling are concerned, taunted my older brother with their name calling until Matt just drove off. What else could he do?...

Matt came home that night even more pissed than the night before. The first thing I remember him saying when I asked him how it went was, "I made $7 in 7 hours of work!!!!!" Ice cream men have to pay for their own gas, so after filling up the van, he had a measly $7 to show for it. 5 of which came from Brett, mind you. That put Matt at $28 in 14 hours of work. $2 an hour. He was pissed, "Man, I QUIT!!!!" My parents laughed pretty hard over that one. I think we all agreed that 19 years of avoiding work had been paid off during those 2 humiliating days as the ice cream man. There were no more harassments to get a job after that. I think we all agreed that 2 days as the ice cream man is proof enough that Matt can work. As noted earlier, most people wouldn't show up for 1 day of work, let alone 2. Matt proved he had it in him, and my parents left him alone after that. Things quickly went back to normal as I'd get out of school and Matt would be waiting for me at the skatepark with water and lunch.

Nobody can ever fully comprehend the consequences of those 2 days of work on society, Matt, my family, Bolts of Thunder, and me. Several years later, while reflecting upon his experience as ice cream man, Matt wrote to me in a letter, "I have quit running from who I really am inside. Like a beautiful butterfly emerging from its cocoon, I have accepted who I am. I am an ice cream man." Bolts of Thunder wants to take this moment to acknowledge one of the greatest achievements any of its members has and ever will accomplish: delivering ice cream to needy children. Few have dared to try, and fewer have lasted 2 days. Thank you Matt, Bolts of Thunder owes you a deep sense of gratitude for what you've done...