The AJ Neuenswander Interview. And I think I spelled his name right...

AJ Newenshwander is the next evolutionary link in the Bolts of Thunder chain. You now how evolution works, right? The weaker becomes stronger, the stronger gets killed off by an even more awesome and stronger. Then monkeys start turning into men, and men come along and kill all in their path. Yeah, AJ is the man on a rampage stage of the Bolts of Thunder evolutionary chain, and he's systematically destroying everything that stands in his way. That varial heelflip over that gap up above is just a taste of the wrath AJ is about to unleash on the world in Bolts of Thunder's next video and evidence that we are no longer messing around. So AJ lives right next door to me. When I say right next door, I don't think you realize what I mean. I mean that our front doors are separated by a mere 3 feet of hall space. We live in a fourplex house, and AJ lives in the apartment that is attached to mine. We share a wall together, and I will admit that I have spent a great deal of time with my ear up against this wall, trying to steal valuable secrets from AJ that I could at a later time use against him. Possibly to make some good money. But as of yet, AJ's clean and I've got nothing. Anyway, after having officially welcomed AJ to the team, we felt it only right to interview him. So with no further delay, I present you with the AJ Newenshwamper interview. That's a hard last name to spell. If you want to look him up online, his name is spelt correctly in the title of this post...

(MrBoltsofThunder) How long have you been spying on Bolts of Thunder and who do you work for?

(AJ) Dude, Ive been spying on bolts of thunder for a while now.  Maybe like almost a year?  I work at an elementary school so I guess I work for the provo school district?  They’re totally into skating…   Actually I first heard about bolts of thunder from tyler who told me he skated with a guy who had just gotten married in the temple.  I was like no way!  So after skating with you guys once or twice I decided to take my skateboarding/spying career more seriously and move next door to you.  It’s worked out pretty well.

What do you plan on gaining personally by infiltrating our organization?

Homeeeez!!  All my friends I skated with in san diego quit skating and I quickly realized that I didn’t fit in so well with the sk8mafia crew.  Although Wes Kremer did give me a “pound it” one time and Nick Tucker told me I had a mean fakie switch crook.  Basically after years of solo sessions at the skate park im just happy to skate with other people.  It’s been really fun skating new spots and jus chillllin.

What is the scariest trick you've ever tried? 

Oh man… I dunno.  I became one of those boring ledge skaters a while back.  Basically anytime I have to do something down stairs it’s the scariest trick ive ever tried.  And skating the kink on that weird rail in south provo scares me a lot.

What is the hardest trick you've ever landed?

back 360 down 7 was my claim to fame!   And I back 180ed this 4 flat 4 at my elementary school that I looked at for years.  I actually just found this video of it!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vecZiH5JyvE&feature=player_embedded    

Yeah.. tight pants and the locusts were pretty big in 2006. 

How long have you been skating and how did you get into it?

I started skating on my 8^th birthday.  Im 22 so I guess it’s been like 14 years.  There was this kid in my neighborhood that was really good that made me wanna learn.  I got a board from target with a holographic alien on the bottom.  So naturally I tried to convince my friends for a while that it was alien workshop board.  A week after I got it, my dad accidently hosed off the all the grip tape while watering the plants.  I was pretty mad but still managed to ride it for another six months by drowning my wheels in WD 40 everyday.  I couldn’t really do anything  so I’d just stand behind the board and stomp on the tail as hard as I could and watch it fly into the air do all types of flippy things that I was sure were cool tricks.  After that I got “sixteen skateboard” (remember those??) and from then on everything was about skateboarding

What would you like to see in the next Bolts of Thunder video, from you or from anyone else?

I’m expecting Matt to use a BAD A$$ rap song. (cause he won’t let me use one)  Ben is going to 5-0 the police rail.  Jon is gonna kickflip something big.  Im gonna try to learn back 360s again.  And I hope to see all the other guys from bolts of thunder put together some rad stuff!  Filming has been so much fun.

So you served a mission which means you most likely battled with stomach problems and adjusting to local foods. Any good crapping your pants stories for us?

Haha well I served in chile so its not like super 3^rd world or anything but the food did take getting used to.  My stomach was pretty messed up for the first few weeks, but luckily the only time I did poo my pants I was inside our apartment.  Its not that cool of a story, I was just sitting on a little couch we had and all the sudden it just like came out.  Poop in the pants is the worst though, I had another companion that pooed his pants on the home one night.  By the time we got inside it was like all over the top of both his shoes.  Nice!

Tell us about getting attacked by that dog

Man, I know it makes everyone really mad, but I hate dogs.  I dunno ive just never been like a huge animal lover.  Chile, like every other South American country is full of dogs on the streets.  I made it a year and 6 months without getting bit by one.  But yeah, my comp and I were going to this kid’s house for a return appointment and right when the kid opened his gate to let us in I hear like super loud barking and then realized there’s a giant dog latched onto my leg.  I finally shook it off and my pants were all ripped and my leg was all bloody.  The kid was like “oh yeah…it does that sometimes.”  Thanks man…  We went to the hospital that night and I got some shots and stuff and everything was fine.  Except for the 8.9 earthquake that happened that night, but that’s a story for another day!

So now let's move into our scenarios. This is where our audience can really get to know you. So we have this scenario where it's the zombie apocalypse and you can choose one member of Bolts of Thunder to be with you. Who would it be and why? I know you don't know everyone on the team, but from what you've seen and heard, make your best choice. How would you guys fight off all the zombies? Do you feel temporally prepared for said zombie apocalypse?

Well I know it’s probably be a hart cause you guys are seriously always talking about zombies.  I guess I’d go with matt cause he’s seen like a billion movies and im sure in some of the ones he’s seen they teach you how to defend yourself and stuff.  Plus he’s a security guard at the library so he could like get us into this underground safe room over there or something.

Now let's say that you're staking out with the entire Bolts of Thunder crew in a warehouse. You are well armed. Zombies are bearing down on you in your warehouse and trying to break in. How do you see Bolts of Thunder fighting off the zombies or making its final stand?

Man im bad at this stuff! I guess Nick could drop in off of the roof and land on a few of them cause I know he’s good at that.  We could build this super duper long hubba that they would have to climb up to get to us and then have dave do a super long 50 down it and punch each one of them on his way.  That’s all I can think of.

You don't strike me as the inherently violent type, but I still have to ask. For security purposes... Have you ever been in any fights? If so, what went down?

No way.  No fighting for me.  One time I gave my friend a soft punch in the stomach at recess and I couldn’t sleep for weeks.

Again, I know you don't know all the original Bolts of Thunder members, but we tell you a great deal about them. Let's say we had a Hunger Games scenario but Bolts of Thunder got to choose two people to be in this little camping death match. Who would you choose to go out into the wild and why? Who do you see having the greatest possibility of winning?

Probably Dave and Matt.  They grow the best beards so they look the most intimidating.  They'd win.

I'm out of questions, so do you have anything else you'd like to say to our readers?

Nope!