Matt's Interview

So Matt is co-founder and runner of this little here Bolts of Thunder operation. He's one of the funniest people I've ever met, and he's my older brother. One thing I love about Matt is that whatever he tells you he really means. Unless when he's joking around, but he usually makes that obvious enough that you don't need to wonder. But any compliment he gives is always sincere and honest, so getting any kind of compliment from him is one of the highest honors one can receive. Matt also possesses some kind of Jedi persuasion skills that he has developed and fine tuned over the years, mostly on me, and he can convince pretty much anyone that even the craziest of tricks sounds like a good idea. I'm happy he's on board for another video since he's the better filmer of the group, and he always comes up with really good ideas for videos. So in this interview, Matt reflects on a life of being chased by cops as a kid, preparing for the zombie apocalypse, and movie making. He also exposes the less than clever back stabbing tactics of his kid brother in trying to take all the credit for everything that goes on here. What a jerk, that kid brother of his...

(MrBoltsofThunder) We've seen over the decades the sporadic changing of your fashion styles. Several years ago was Muska Matt. Then we saw AFI Matt, Tupac Matt, Early 90s Matt, and garbage can Matt. What style are you currently sporting? How do you justify radically reinventing yourself every 6 months or so?

All of my styles are not a matter of choice, but of circumstance. My styles reflect the current trends at Ross and TJMax. If I had real money I'd probably by clothes that fit me right and hold up a little better, but I just take what I can get. However, this year I've been really low on money and haven't gotten any new clothes, so I suppose my style will be the same as last year. If we filmed a video in the winter then maybe I could show off all my cool jackets, but winter filming isn't gonna happen for us.

What's the funnest thing you've ever done on your skateboard?

Watching fat, uncoordinated people falling in weird positions can be funny. So I'm sure I can look funny when I fall. But nothing really sticks out, especially since I can't watch myself while I'm skating. Maybe you can tell me what the funniest thing is since you're around me a lot.

Do you feel like people misjudge you because of your rough exterior? Do you think people automatically think you're crazy or mean because your head always shakes from side to side, you have the tendency to growl under your breath the first time you meet someone, and you are prone to biting?

I don't think the biting really offends anyone, but maybe the growl. But seriously, people really do seem to think I'm a mean person cause I have this permanent pissed off look on my face. Even when I was a missionary people thought I was really mean, and I was clean shaven. But the beard and shaved head really seems to make people think less of me. But that's all right, cause I think less of them too.

So we found all of those old VHS tapes of our skating back in St George. What are some of your favorite things you've seen on those tapes? When you watch them, what do you see has changed with our skating and what has stayed the same?

First of all, nothing's changed at all. We still sound the same and skate the same stuff and joke the same and everything. Ten or fifteen years might seem like it will change you a lot, but apparently it doesn't. Anyway, one clip that I saw was where this guy wanted to fight me and a couple of our friends while I was filming  you trying to kickflip the Harmon's gap. The guy was like early 30's and had big muscles and a tank top shirt and was bouncing a basketball very vigorously. And his little 3 year old kid is standing there watching. The dude is pissed cause you're riding through the basketball court to kickflip the gap, which I understand his frustrations, but we were there first. Anyway, he saying "step-up motherf---ers!" Being half his age and size, I refused to "step up". But we wouldn't leave either and you kept skating right in front of him and you eventually landed it. It was pretty funny. I totally forgot about that incident. I guess we had a bunch of those. It makes me happy to see that we weren't little wimpy kids that high-tailed it out of there the second he started threatening us.

Living in St George meant learning to hide and run from overzealous cops and citizens. What are some of your favorite cop chases/run-ins or encounters with super citizens down in St George?

Oh the scariest chase was this one time at like 2 in the morning when you, me and Nick were out screwing around and this cop came out of nowhere and started chasing us. We all split up and went different ways and he chased me through some neighborhood in his car. I was just hopping fences and stuff. But finally I just ran up to someone's front porch and layed down behind a little potted plant next to the door. By little plant, I mean it was a foot tall and six inches wide. So not the smartest move. So I'm laying there and I here the cop car pull up and stop right in front of the house. And then I can hear him get out of his car and the footsteps are coming in my direction so I look up and I can see him going up to the porch at the house next door. So I just get up and run and fast as I can and jump some more fences and get out of there. That was it, but it was pretty scary when I thought he was walking up to the porch. 

What is one of your scariest memories in being chased by cops?

Oh shoot, I just answered this question. Well, maybe I should try to answer the previous question. Oh I know, this one time  I tried running from the cops, but they had us surrounded and so I actually got caught trying to run. That's about it. I suppose there's more to the story, but I'm not good at telling stories in writing. That's your job. Maybe you should tell these stories for me.

What's your best score on an 18 hole in golf?

Not that great. I shot an 8 over once, which isn't bad, but I could do better if I practiced more. But at the time that I shot that I had only been playing for 2 years, so that's pretty good. I just haven't really played at all since I was a teenager. I used to play golf every single day cause we lived on a golf course and I took lessons every week and got really good, but then I just wanted to skate more, so that ended that. I actually feel really bad about it cause I had good potential and the pros at the local golf courses would always say how I was gonna be this really good golfer and do really good on the high school team, but when I got to high school I played for one week with the team and I hated all the kids and quit. They were a bunch of rich snobs and were kinda pickin on me. And one of them accused me of cheating, which I didn't do. So that's the story of my golf career. I have really nice clubs and whenever I see them I always think of how I should go use them, but it just cost so much money. Anyway, I'll get back to it eventually.

going back to stories, we had all kinds of weird stuff happen to us at scout campouts and stuff like that. What are some of your favorite memories or stories from our campouts as kids?

There's so many. I love when you beat up Bobby because he pushed you because you were chopping a log and he said that no one could touch it. That was pretty funny. You might have already told that on the blog though. If not, then feel free to fill in the details. Actually, today I remembered about when we built snow caves. That was pretty frustrating. We built the biggest, nicest snow cave and as soon as it was finished our scout leader claimed it as his own. What a lazy bastard. That still pisses me off. He sits back while some little kids shovel snow and hollow it out for two hours and then all the sudden he's like "This is my snow cave, go make your own." He was in his 40's and he was being a school yard bully to a bunch of kids. So we had to make another one, but the problem was that there were no more flat areas, so we built some crappy cave on a hill, but by the time we started it the sun was going down so we had to do it really quick. It was the worst cave ever. I remember laying there looking at the ceiling and after only twenty minutes the ceiling had sunken in by about a foot. I told Jon and so we crawled out as fast as we could. This could Gabe was in the cave with us, but for some reason we didn't tell him that it was collapsing. So we got out and stood and watched as the cave collapsed on top of him. That was the only highlight of the campout. Cause after that we realized that we had left all of our supplies and sleeping bags in the cave, so now they were under a big pile of snow. Being the lazy kid I was, I just gave up and went and slept in a lodge with a bunch of scout leaders who were too big of panzies to sleep in the snow. And me and Jon practically froze to death that night. That's about it. Man, that story sounds lame. If you saw me in person then I could tell it pretty good though. I hate writing. Once Jon was out of town for like a week and I was suppose to write on the blog, but I couldn't get myself to do it. Good thing Jon likes it.

What were some of your favorite things from the last Bolts of Thunder video? What parts or sections are you happiest with or like to watch the most?

The whole thing is good. I don't really have a favorite part but I really like Dan's part cause I thought it was pretty solid. Anytime I see it I still laugh. I guess it has a lot of personality. I had the idea of how to make it long before we ever started filming and it turned out pretty close to how I would have wanted it. There were other shots and stuff that I wanted to get for it, but Dan is such an elusive character and so I was just grateful that we had enough to put a whole part together. The rest of the video is good though. But I'm not the type to really dote over our videos. I don't think too much about them. I just like to move on and see what I can do next and hope that it makes me happy.

What do you want to see in the next video? What direction do you see Bolts of Thunder movie making going in?

The next one will definitely be easy to make. I'm basically just gonna see what footage I have in July and put it all together. I don't care if someone has one trick or a hundred tricks. I just want to have fun skating and then if we get stuff on film then I'll use it. And that's been working pretty well lately. In the last video we had too many people to film and it got a little tiring. With only one camera it's a lot of work for me or Jon to do, and who wants to spend all their time filming other people. I have a lot of other things I want to do as well, so I didn't want to spend this summer just filming people that want nothing more than to just be in some skate video. Yeah, that's pretty much what the next video is about, it's about filming with your friends that you actually hang out with. So this video is fun to make cause it's just been hanging and skating and filming with good friends. That's what our first video was. It was just the five of us hanging out everyday and having fun and filming each other. I think the second video got a little out of hand towards the end, so I'm just making the new video a lot like the first one. But don't get me wrong, there's really good skating in it. Every weekend AJ goes gets crazy footage. And Ben too. they kinda remind me of Dave McDonald and Nick cause all of them would sacrifice their bodies for the good of making our video, which is what Ben and AJ have been doing every weekend. So look out for their footage this July. You'll be impressed.

Now let's talk movie talk. What are your 3 favorite movies from the past 3 years? Only 3, and you can't respond with "that's too hard to say", you have to give 3 movies. You can give more than 3 if you want...

I'll just go with three. I really like foreign movies for a couple of reasons. First of all, I don't have the best hearing and so I always watch movies with subtitles. So like that they always have subtitles. Second, foreign movies can't rely on big budgets to make stupid special effects movies like Transformers that have cheesy dialogue and lame stories. They have to rely on really interesting characters and stories, so I love watching foreign movies. Except for a lot of asian films. Some are good, but there too many artsy ones that get really annoying. Anyway. So I love thriller movies, so this one movie I really like is called "The Secret In Their Eyes". It's an Argentine film. It's really good. Another film is this Austrian film called "Revanche". I only watched it once but I remember being very impressed with it. Oh, and I'm not recommending these movies to anyone who doesn't watch rated R movies, cause they're definitely rated R. I don't even have a third one. I guess I'll just go with "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo". That's a fun movie and a really good thriller. And the characters are really interesting.  I liked it more than any other movie this past year for sure. 

Who's your favorite James Bond?

Daniel Craig. Even though Sean Connery is the original and he's really good, I just really like Casino Royale and Craig is so good at it. I can't wait for the new one.

If Samuel L Jackson were a cowboy, would he rival Clint Eastwood? Who would have an angrier snarl?

Yeah, he would definitely be up their with Eastwood. He can be cool in the crappiest movies. That guy can do anything. But I don't think he can snarl like Eastwood. I don't really know what else to say about that.

So last year you were nominated the most times by fellow Thunder Bolts as the preferred cast away mate in our cannibal island scenario. What is your reaction to this? Why did so many people chose you?

I seriously felt so good whenever someone picked me. A big smile lit up on my face. I sensed a lot of jealousy and sibling rivalry from Jon after that, and that made me feel even better. If Jon gets to have all the credit for Bolts of Thunder, then I want to be everyone's first choice for the island. I want respect and you're gonna give it to me. I've been working behind the scenes for too long and now it's my time to shine; especially on an island. And the reason people picked me is because they could see through all the lies and negative propaganda that Jon Hart has been spreading about me on this blog. I seem to remember that Jon went on this big campaign about how I hate camping and being in the wilderness; and now that I think of it, that happened right before all the interviews. Jon Hart was trying to steer votes his way by making me out to be a 21st century technology loving faggot. Well it didn't work and people saw right through it. People picked me because they know what I'm capable of.

Now that we're entering a new season of scenarios and zombies are the main theme, do you think people might once again choose you because of your experience in watching zombie movies and tv shows?

Well now that I know what Jon's tactics are, I'll go on the pre-emptive by mentioning what has already been said about me. I have watched almost every movie that I know of about zombies. I've even watched low budget home-made zombie movies on the internet. By movies, I'm also including both seasons of the walking dead. Not only do I watch the movies, but I study to skills necessary to survive a zombie apocalypse. I have such detailed plans that living in a zombie world would be fun. And if you pick me then you'll get to have fun with me. So this is basically my resume and I'm applying to be your buddy in the zombie apocalypse. I'm the right man for the job.

Now to ask you the scenario questions, who would you choose to be with you in the zombie apocalypse? What would be your method of survival? I'm sure you've been planning this a while, so I expect some detailed thought on the subject.

Okay, even though he has done so much to try and taint my well respected image, I would choose Jon to be my zombie buddy. As Dave McDonald pointed out, I basically chose by brother Brian for the island, so it's Jon's turn now. But I would have fun with either of my brothers. Jon's watched a few episodes of the walking dead, he watched 28 days and 28 weeks later, and he's watched Zombieland a few times, so I think he's had enough basic training that he could hack it with me. And he's really careful and safe, so I would feel safe around him. That's where he differs from Brian. Brian is a serious risk taker and that usually doesn't go over too well with me. I never take risks. So Brian might scare me a little too much. He'd probably go looking for zombies just for fun or something. Me and Jon would go up into the mountains and live near a lake. I've noticed that zombies seem to have a hard time going up hills, so we'd be way up in the mountains. We'd mostly eat fish since we don't hunt animals. But the good thing is that you can fish even in the winter. And we'd have a garden in the summer as well. We'd have plenty of time and wood to build a really nice fortress. The main thing is that you don't want any zombies getting in the water and contaminating it. So we'd build and big fence that went around the entire lake. It would take some time, but we'd have all the time in the world. So that's about it. It would be so much fun cause we used to live in the mountains, so it would be just like being kids again. And despite what some people may have said about me, I'm not lazy when work needs to be done.

Now the entire Bolts of Thunder crew is staking out in a warehouse. As you know, we are well armed because we stormed the national guard reserve place after the zombies took over and got our hands on everything we could find. All the skating we've done in the warehouse has caused too much noise and the zombies know we're in there. We're talking hundreds... maybe thousands of zombies bearing down on us. How will Bolts of Thunder fight? What do you see happening here?

I'm gonna assume this is a really big warehouse. What I would do is just copy something that I saw on the walking dead. I'd pour a bunch of gasoline on the ground and then everyone would climb up a rope or ladder into the rafters and then we would break through an air vent and get on the roof. However, one person, probably me, would go unlock the warehouse doors and let all the zombies in. I'd climb up to the roof really fast and pull of the rope or ladder. And then I'd just wait for all the zombies outside to come rushing into the warehouse. When the whole place is full then I'd just light a match and let them burn. Then we'd take the ladder or rope and climb down the outside of the building. Hopefully all the zombies were inside. If not then I'm sure we could take out a few with our weapons. Then we'd just run for the mountains and follow the plan that I outlined above. This is the only real way to survive this situation. Or at least its the best way. 

I'm out of questions for now, so what are your last words for our readers?

I don't know if many people knew, but I'm moving to Omaha, Nebraska at the beginning of August. I'm going to more school for 3 1/2 years. When I'm done with school you will call me Dr. Hart. I'll be sure to let you know when that is. I'm gonna leave Jon in charge of Bolts of Thunder while I'm gone. He has been known as a mutinous traitor in the past, so if anyone notices that he's trying to completely take over Bolts of Thunder and have me taken out, then I would like a heads up, please. That's  it.

No Explanation

So I realize I haven't been writing as much as you would like. I apologize. There is no reason for my blatant disregard for the rules of the blog, I just didn't write. So I'm going to write real quick and leave you with these pictures of AJ doing a full cab kickflip into this bank, which also requires no explanation.

Bolts of Thunder at the forefront of the revolutionary skate art scene that is just so cool

So blogger decided to change how everything looks when you log on to write a new post, throwing off my groove and getting in the way of my blog writing. I guess this doesn't affect the way our blog looks when you look at it. But I will admit, blogger's been sending me all kinds of harassing messages, trying to get me to join the bandwagon and choose a new look for the blog. But I refuse to. Bolts of Thunder resists change. At least when it comes to changing our look.

Speaking of Bolts of Thunder's look, we all know that Bolts of Thunder is known internationally for taking groundbreaking leaps and strides in paving the way for artsiness in skating. Before we came along skating was pretty much a bunch of hooligans with fisheye lenses taped onto their high 8 cameras. After our first two videos, the skate world has pretty much done a 180, not much unlike the 180 Matt did over the hip in his first part, and is now tugging on the emotional side of skateboarding. This picture up above is a demonstration of just how artsy we've become. They straight shadow lines being ripped apart by a crack in the sidewalk. It just says so much, all heights and depths ye know not. But yeah, we're pretty much at the forefront of turning skaters into a bunch of time-laps sunset birds flying cars driving filming artists, and we're quite proud of that.

So this picture was one of my pictures I took when I was adjusting the exposure on the camera. That's all. Just a mistake. When I saw it later, I realized the genius and creativity of it all.

Ok, I can't justify only putting this picture up today. You'd all have yourselves a good old fashioned lynching if that's all was on the blog for today. So I'll put up a picture of Ben grinding a rail. He seems to be a real crowd pleaser, and he'll keep your hostility at bay... Yes, that is AJ spying in the background.

Golf and what not

These are some pictures from skating in LA a couple weeks ago. It was so much fun. I skated with Dan, his brother Greg, and his cousin Brandon. Rachel was with us too. So we went to these two parks. One is in downtown LA, the other is a ways away, and it's called Stoner Park. A fitting name considering all the second hand smoking we were doing at that park. Second hand smoking like a chimney... But Stoner Park is the new generation of skate parks. It has granite ledges and awesome stuff everywhere, and it was way fun.

So golf. Rachel and I headed over to Trafalga's 18 hole miniature golf course the other night and practiced our swing. Rachel held the lead most of the game until I pulled ahead in the 13th hole. The slanted green was too much for her putter skills, and she lost the lead. So miniature golfing reminded me of the days when I used to live on a golf course in St George. For about a year me and Matt would go out on the golf course every evening and practice hitting balls. Quite naturally, we didn't pay ever, we just went out when the last golfers went through. It wasn't a problem for a while, but they started to catch on to us. This one guy chased after us one time for several holes, and he tried trapping us on the green of the 16th hole. But fortunately Matt and I did not hold sand traps in high regard, and we cut across the recently groomed sand traps, climbed a hill, and made our way home. We told Brian who was anxious to fill water balloons and give chase to the dude in the golf cart. We couldn't find him... Things calmed down for a couple weeks, but they mysteriously flared up once again the day after Matt and I spent an hour on the green of the 17th hole, the one right behind our house, throwing the divot repairer in the air and watching in stick into the green. Apparently golfers are very protective of their greens and do not appreciate hundreds of little holes all over the place, making their balls bounce around and getting in the way of their game. We had so much fun throwing the divot repairer into the grass that the next day I even brought my pocket knife with me to throw into the green. But there were people out there that night waiting for us, and we had to run off. So after that event, the people surveyed the hole where we lived pretty tightly after hours, and we didn't golf all that much. But we started skating a lot more that same summer, and we pretty much just skated from then on. Anyway, I guess that's really all I had to say about golf. At least for today.

The AJ Neuenswander Interview. And I think I spelled his name right...

AJ Newenshwander is the next evolutionary link in the Bolts of Thunder chain. You now how evolution works, right? The weaker becomes stronger, the stronger gets killed off by an even more awesome and stronger. Then monkeys start turning into men, and men come along and kill all in their path. Yeah, AJ is the man on a rampage stage of the Bolts of Thunder evolutionary chain, and he's systematically destroying everything that stands in his way. That varial heelflip over that gap up above is just a taste of the wrath AJ is about to unleash on the world in Bolts of Thunder's next video and evidence that we are no longer messing around. So AJ lives right next door to me. When I say right next door, I don't think you realize what I mean. I mean that our front doors are separated by a mere 3 feet of hall space. We live in a fourplex house, and AJ lives in the apartment that is attached to mine. We share a wall together, and I will admit that I have spent a great deal of time with my ear up against this wall, trying to steal valuable secrets from AJ that I could at a later time use against him. Possibly to make some good money. But as of yet, AJ's clean and I've got nothing. Anyway, after having officially welcomed AJ to the team, we felt it only right to interview him. So with no further delay, I present you with the AJ Newenshwamper interview. That's a hard last name to spell. If you want to look him up online, his name is spelt correctly in the title of this post...

(MrBoltsofThunder) How long have you been spying on Bolts of Thunder and who do you work for?

(AJ) Dude, Ive been spying on bolts of thunder for a while now.  Maybe like almost a year?  I work at an elementary school so I guess I work for the provo school district?  They’re totally into skating…   Actually I first heard about bolts of thunder from tyler who told me he skated with a guy who had just gotten married in the temple.  I was like no way!  So after skating with you guys once or twice I decided to take my skateboarding/spying career more seriously and move next door to you.  It’s worked out pretty well.

What do you plan on gaining personally by infiltrating our organization?

Homeeeez!!  All my friends I skated with in san diego quit skating and I quickly realized that I didn’t fit in so well with the sk8mafia crew.  Although Wes Kremer did give me a “pound it” one time and Nick Tucker told me I had a mean fakie switch crook.  Basically after years of solo sessions at the skate park im just happy to skate with other people.  It’s been really fun skating new spots and jus chillllin.

What is the scariest trick you've ever tried? 

Oh man… I dunno.  I became one of those boring ledge skaters a while back.  Basically anytime I have to do something down stairs it’s the scariest trick ive ever tried.  And skating the kink on that weird rail in south provo scares me a lot.

What is the hardest trick you've ever landed?

back 360 down 7 was my claim to fame!   And I back 180ed this 4 flat 4 at my elementary school that I looked at for years.  I actually just found this video of it!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vecZiH5JyvE&feature=player_embedded    

Yeah.. tight pants and the locusts were pretty big in 2006. 

How long have you been skating and how did you get into it?

I started skating on my 8^th birthday.  Im 22 so I guess it’s been like 14 years.  There was this kid in my neighborhood that was really good that made me wanna learn.  I got a board from target with a holographic alien on the bottom.  So naturally I tried to convince my friends for a while that it was alien workshop board.  A week after I got it, my dad accidently hosed off the all the grip tape while watering the plants.  I was pretty mad but still managed to ride it for another six months by drowning my wheels in WD 40 everyday.  I couldn’t really do anything  so I’d just stand behind the board and stomp on the tail as hard as I could and watch it fly into the air do all types of flippy things that I was sure were cool tricks.  After that I got “sixteen skateboard” (remember those??) and from then on everything was about skateboarding

What would you like to see in the next Bolts of Thunder video, from you or from anyone else?

I’m expecting Matt to use a BAD A$$ rap song. (cause he won’t let me use one)  Ben is going to 5-0 the police rail.  Jon is gonna kickflip something big.  Im gonna try to learn back 360s again.  And I hope to see all the other guys from bolts of thunder put together some rad stuff!  Filming has been so much fun.

So you served a mission which means you most likely battled with stomach problems and adjusting to local foods. Any good crapping your pants stories for us?

Haha well I served in chile so its not like super 3^rd world or anything but the food did take getting used to.  My stomach was pretty messed up for the first few weeks, but luckily the only time I did poo my pants I was inside our apartment.  Its not that cool of a story, I was just sitting on a little couch we had and all the sudden it just like came out.  Poop in the pants is the worst though, I had another companion that pooed his pants on the home one night.  By the time we got inside it was like all over the top of both his shoes.  Nice!

Tell us about getting attacked by that dog

Man, I know it makes everyone really mad, but I hate dogs.  I dunno ive just never been like a huge animal lover.  Chile, like every other South American country is full of dogs on the streets.  I made it a year and 6 months without getting bit by one.  But yeah, my comp and I were going to this kid’s house for a return appointment and right when the kid opened his gate to let us in I hear like super loud barking and then realized there’s a giant dog latched onto my leg.  I finally shook it off and my pants were all ripped and my leg was all bloody.  The kid was like “oh yeah…it does that sometimes.”  Thanks man…  We went to the hospital that night and I got some shots and stuff and everything was fine.  Except for the 8.9 earthquake that happened that night, but that’s a story for another day!

So now let's move into our scenarios. This is where our audience can really get to know you. So we have this scenario where it's the zombie apocalypse and you can choose one member of Bolts of Thunder to be with you. Who would it be and why? I know you don't know everyone on the team, but from what you've seen and heard, make your best choice. How would you guys fight off all the zombies? Do you feel temporally prepared for said zombie apocalypse?

Well I know it’s probably be a hart cause you guys are seriously always talking about zombies.  I guess I’d go with matt cause he’s seen like a billion movies and im sure in some of the ones he’s seen they teach you how to defend yourself and stuff.  Plus he’s a security guard at the library so he could like get us into this underground safe room over there or something.

Now let's say that you're staking out with the entire Bolts of Thunder crew in a warehouse. You are well armed. Zombies are bearing down on you in your warehouse and trying to break in. How do you see Bolts of Thunder fighting off the zombies or making its final stand?

Man im bad at this stuff! I guess Nick could drop in off of the roof and land on a few of them cause I know he’s good at that.  We could build this super duper long hubba that they would have to climb up to get to us and then have dave do a super long 50 down it and punch each one of them on his way.  That’s all I can think of.

You don't strike me as the inherently violent type, but I still have to ask. For security purposes... Have you ever been in any fights? If so, what went down?

No way.  No fighting for me.  One time I gave my friend a soft punch in the stomach at recess and I couldn’t sleep for weeks.

Again, I know you don't know all the original Bolts of Thunder members, but we tell you a great deal about them. Let's say we had a Hunger Games scenario but Bolts of Thunder got to choose two people to be in this little camping death match. Who would you choose to go out into the wild and why? Who do you see having the greatest possibility of winning?

Probably Dave and Matt.  They grow the best beards so they look the most intimidating.  They'd win.

I'm out of questions, so do you have anything else you'd like to say to our readers?

Nope!

Radiohead Concert

As promised, I put up a couple pictures of us at Radiohead's concert in Santa Barbara. We were on Radiohead's guestlist because my sister's got all kinds of hook ups, so we got into the concert for free! This is one of those things that you always wish would happen but never really does. But then it did. When I heard a while back that we might get free tickets to the concert, I really hoped it would happen, but didn't really think it would. It's just one of those things that doesn't seem likely to pull through. It's like your rap artist cousin that always on the brink of cutting a big record deal with Dr Dre, but it never really happens. It was kind of like that.... So here are a couple pictures of us at Radiohead, which was an amazing concert and super fun to be at with all my brothers and sister. Thanks again, Gin!!! And Radiohead, thank you too because you got us in for free and played music for us...

Dave's 2nd Interview

Summer has officially started for Bolts of Thunder, and we are underway filming a new video. With a new video on the way, it's only right that we start up a new round of interviews. The interviews we did last year were some of the funniest things I've ever read and funnest posts we've put on the blog. We wanted to start things off right again this year with an interview with Dave McDonald. Dave is one of my best friends and one of the funnest people to skate or hang out with. It's always a good time, and you can count on him doing something crazy on his skateboard. So here is the low down of Dave McDonald and pretty much what you need to know about him. Make sure to click on the links on the words, he's got some funny stuff in there...

As a side note, welcome AJ as Bolts of Thunder's 42nd official follower!!!! It's good to have you officially on the team. That reminds me, Sam Milianta is still not an official follower. We need to get on that... Behold, Dave's interview:

(MrBoltsofThunder) So what's going on in your life these days? Where are you now, what are you doing? What does a normal day in the life of David McDonald consist of?

(Dave) In Paris, still. I just work. Still teaching English to spoiled, rich kids in the Parisian suburbs. Normal day sees me waking up when its still dark and commuting for an hour or so to my school. I read and listen to some music on the train; its not so bad. I also get to wear some nice thick coats, which I like to do. Everyone I work with thinks I'm a serious educator, but I'm just a joke. I can fake anything.

Besides the part-time adult nonsense, I've been skating, playing some guitar, making some videos, taking some pictures, investing, gambling, rioting, raving, posing, insulting, and apprenticing for a soap-maker. Yeah, got a lot on my plate, I guess. 

I remembered this story the other day that you told me way back when of this bully at high school. As I recall, he wanted you and your friends dead. Then your friend stood up to him and got punched in the stomach and didn't flinch until the kid left. Something to that effect. Would you mind going into detail on that story?

 So, there was this meat-head named Richard Calvin--a real wanker. He hated us because we dressed like Ed Templeton, naturally. We also had our own tight-knit crew of losers called the Weird Kids. Some jocks started calling us that, so we went with it. 

   Anyways, this Dick fellow had it in for us. He'd always bark at us and stuff. One day he said some crap to my friend Nick MacDonald (who invented the late shove-it and the triple kickflip, btw) and Nick just mocked him right back. Meat-head just let loose and nailed Nick in the gut, hard. This guy was way bigger than us. I think he was held back a couple years or somethin'. Anyways, Nick took it and just stared back at the guy. No flinch, nothing. Just absorbed a solid sucker punch. The guy just walked off. I could tell it hurt like hell, though. I'd taken a few sucker punches in my day. Its no walk in the park. 

What was your reaction to the last Bolts of Thunder video? What were your favorite parts/tricks? And more specifically, what was your first reaction to Dan, Nick, and Matt's parts? You can talk about mine if you want, but I won't ask you specifically...

I was sort of blasé, you know. There was a lot of hype leading up to it and I left the premiere (which is the only time I watched the video) feeling empty. Just underwhelmed I guess. I mean, where were the handrails? What, no flip tricks? Please. You're never gonna get picked up by anyone with all those early grabs and hippie jumps.

What would you like to see in the next Bolts of Thunder video? Any tricks that have been left undone or any spots that need to be skated? We're running out of ideas here, so any suggestions on your part would be appreciated.

Dan needs to land that backflip, am I right? Also, I need a good ol' fashioned roof drop from Nick. Matt needs to ollie something gnarly. I'm talking big boy pants. Sam needs a good manual line. Jon, you need to three flip that long flat gap that you put the fridge down. I need to see that. Ima ollie this. 

Give us your stats. How old are you, when's your birthday, how tall are you, how much do you weigh, how much can you bench press? You know, your stats.

I am 28 years old. I was born on December 4, 1983 in Thousand Oaks, CA. I am a bit under 6'0''. I weigh 165 lbs. I can bench my weight, I know. Not sure after that. I was a rookie in the '93 season. I have ollied up a five stair and down a fourteen. I have kickflipped an eleven stair. 

Any good stories from Paris or Europe in general? Had any more fights with Arabs or landlords?

Naw. Oh, wait I got one. One night a few weeks back I was frisked by some cops for trying to remove some vandals work from a building. It was midnight and I wanted to take down this mosaic from the wall that I liked. So, I was up on the roof of this Monoprix banging away at it for a bit, while my friend stood watch. Then a group of three people came up out of nowhere and asked what I was doing up there. I told them to move along as they were bringing too much attention to me. They're all, "yeah, well were cops." So, they made me jump down and searched me and stuff. They just couldn't comprehend what I was doing up there. They first thought that I was doing the graffiti, then they thought I was just weird and let me go. They just couldn't fathom that I was trying to scrape this thing off the wall just to keep it for myself. Yeah.  

I saw some bonus footage of Jean Marc in the video the other day that made me smile. Who is Jean Marc? Would you mind giving a physical description of him for our readers? When did he start skating and what kind of set up is he sporting? What's it like hanging out with him? Has he reduced his cigarette consumption at all? How does he justify smoking when he goes to such great lengths to take care of his health? I don't know why I'm asking about him, but I remembered him the other day and he made me laugh... 

Jean Marc is like one of the three Nephites. I really think he was put into my life to serve some higher purpose, and then one day will be gone. When I first met him, I thought he was some weird African immigrant-turned homeless; I quickly realized he was some weird French skater dude. I was with you when I first met him. It was like night time and he wanted to skate flat ground with us in the metro tunnels...

I'm so glad to count him amongst my friends. I just don't get him. I don't know if he is mental, or if he is fried, or what. He is always wearing a red helmet and whenever he calls me, he introduces him self as "the skater with the red helmet." Yeah. Last week we were skating and he showed my all his new pads. He has like full on football pads under his Dickies. He assures me that he needs them due to his risky maneuvers.

Hanging out with him is great. You can ask him anything in the world. He has premeditated responses to every question imaginable, but he never puts you down. I feel like I can totally be myself around him. 

Cigarettes? In full affect.  

So in France you didn't hesitate to hit that Arab kid with your board. What happened there, and what was going through your mind? 

I'm just racist, I guess. 

Foreign food has been known to upset our American stomachs at times. Or really often. Any good sharting/diarrhea stories from your stays over seas?

Nothing new. I will say this: I have yet to clog a toilet in France. Ask anyone I've ever lived with how impressive that stat is. I once pinched one off that was the size and shape of a grapefruit.

So I really liked our island scenarios from last year's interviews. We're coming up with new scenarios. Seeing as everyone on TV is getting ready for the zombie apocalypse, let's say there was one. If you could have one member of Bolts of Thunder to be with you at all times, who would it be? what would be your MO in staying alive? Would you hunt and fight zombies, would you hide out with your crew in the mountains?

Dan. Its always gonna be Dan.

Now let's say that the entire Bolts of Thunder crew is staking out in some warehouse in a large, zombie infested city. We've got quite a bit of amo, food, and water, but the zombies have caught our scent and are trying to break down the doors. What would go down in this scenario? How do you see Bolts of Thunder making its final stand?

We would just sit back and practice switch flips and let Dan go Rambo on everyone. We may have to occasionally pick off a zombie here or there, but from a distance. We would last as long as Dan stayed alive. If Dan went down, I'd probably just grab a grenade and kamikaze it.

I'm out of questions for now, but is there anything else you'd like to say? Any last words for this interview?

No.

Dances with Matt

They always did say that hippy jump hill bombs were his specialty. I don't think anyone would dispute that now. So here's Matt showing you what a ninja looks like when he's about ready to jump kick you in the face! So school's out for me now, officially. And even if it wasn't, I ain't goin anymore! So that means my brain should not be as scrambled and you'll get plenty of TLC on this blog. We're talking daily.

Back to Matt and jump kicking, I just remembered this bum that threatened to kick Matt in the face at Alberto's in Salt Lake. He suspected Matt, the Mexican girl behind the counter, the manager of the restaurant, and pretty much everyone within a 10 foot radius of him of wanting to fight him. He was standing on guard as he verbally assaulted the manager for not putting any lettuce or tomatoes on his bean and cheese burrito. Dude, you have to pay extra for that... But he didn't care, and he called the manager all kinds of names. The manager just stood there afraid and took it. It was pretty sad. Let me first describe to you the bum so you'll see it's not one of those scary ones that could actually hurt you. He was about my height, so we're talking 5'10'' and he was no more than 140 pounds. Probably a lot less than that. To save you the trouble of trying to figure out if 5'10'' and 140 pounds is a dangerous combo or not, I'll just tell you it's not. Plus, the dude looked like he had two stork legs. They were pretty much just bones with skin on them, and they bent in unnatural ways at the knees. The only thing going for him was that he seemed pretty confident in threatening the manager, so the dude gave in and put lettuce and tomatoes on his burrito.

So Matt was standing behind the guy in line. The dude was facing forward but used the hair on the back of his neck to sense motion from behind and picked up Matt on his radar. Sensing an obvious sneak attack on Matt's part, the bum thought he'd preempt him with some karate chop action to the neck. We call this a king lizard punch where I come from. So the dude quickly spun around, yelled out a mandatory Bruce Lee yelp, and chopped at Matt's neck, only sparing Matt's life by stopping a couple inches from the jugular. At that point, Matt did what any person in his situation would have done. He laughed. It was funny, and we all thought the dude was just messing around because of how pathetic it was. But the Samuel L. Jackson "I'm gonna mess you up!" look in his eyes told us a different story. He was serious. Then he told Matt not to stand behind him or he'll finish the job next time. Some people might have stood down at that moment, but not Matt. In Matt's eyes, that bum was the last thing standing between him and an enchilada. Matt is living proof that Hobbes was wrong; fear is not what motivates us more. It's hunger...

So Matt just stood there in line and ignored the bum. Then a couple minutes later the bum yelled out at Matt, "You stand behind me, and I'm gonna kick you in the face!!!" That was a pretty amazing threat seeing as the guy pretty much had no legs, and it would have been pretty awesome to see him try. But nothing happened, and Matt placed his order, ate his food, and we were on our way. When we walked out, the bum was still yelling and swearing at the girl that took his order and the manager for messing up something else. I guess this story had no point, but just imagine if Matt and this dude got into a jump-kicking fight. You see how high my boy's off the ground in that picture up there? Now just imagine his limber ledge stretching up into your abdomen. Serious, Matt's the most limber of us all, hands down. Yeah, you don't want to mess with that!

Running on Empty

I put up this picture today to show you that Matt and I, for all intents and purposes, are one. While our physical beings are divided and separate, we are one in our teamwork and direction of Bolts of Thunder. In the same way that you cannot see where I begin and Matt ends, you cannot tell where Matt's ideas start and mine crop up.

Actually, this picture is really just to cover up Matt's identity. You don't even know if that's Matt behind me. How would you know? You can't even see his face, so I don't believe you when you accuse that person of being Matt because why would Matt stand in the background of my shot?

School ends for me tomorrow, and my brain is running off of fumes. And I'm not going to tell you where those fumes are coming from because you'd try to steal my fumes from me and use them for yourself when you were tired. Truth is, you can't steal these kinds of fumes I'm talking about. You either got them or you don't. And I do. But I just wanted to get something up today, no matter what that thing was that I put up...

Dan does not disappoint

So I know you're thinking that I've completely abandoned the blog in pursuit of my own vain ambitions, and that's why I refuse to write new posts. In fact, I have not written at all in an entire week. But your assumptions are wrong because writing on this blog is my vain ambitions, and I don't' have any others as of now... You wouldn't' believe it if I told you, but my sister Ginger has all kinds of hook ups, and wouldn't you know it, but my brothers, sister, and our spouses/significant people ended up on Radiohead's guest-list at their concert in Santa Barbara. No joke! We got to see Radiohead for free last weekend, so we all packed up and headed down to California. That's why I haven't been writing, I've been too busy watching Radiohead play. Thanks, Gin! The concert was awesome, and I'll put up video and photo evidence of our little trip because I know you don't believe me...

Anyway, knowing that I haven't written in a week, I did not want to disappoint you in writing a new post today. Let me just tell you this, if you're ever in a tight spot in your life, just rely on Daniel R. Shaw to get you out of it. He's some kind of Houdini/Knievil/Kilmer skater dude that always lands on his feet. I did not want to disappoint you, and Dan does not disappoint. Ever. If you don't believe me, take a minute or two to examine those abs. Those of you that are anatomically/biologically inclined, you will appreciate his well-defined trapezius muscles. Then take a couple more minutes to examine his height in airing out of that jersey barrier. That's not a launch ramp, and it's not intended to be skated as one. It's a jersey barrier with a cement tranny built into it, and it's intended mostly for riding, sliding, and grinding. But not airing. But Dan just aired off it anyway, and several feet at that. So I hope now that the wait was worth it and that you will leave the blog with a sense of fulfillment in your life. Thanks, Dan

You can buy Garrett's video for half the price

So turns out that Garrett sold his house, furniture, car, and dog all so that he could afford to make a skate video. In these hard economic times, skate videos are not proving to be the most lucrative of businesses. So Garrett and his wife have packed up all they have and have been living on the streets for about a year now. It's not so bad, Garrett keeps trying to convince himself, for it seems to fit Garrett's lifestyle: he likes to get out as much as possible. So Garrett has now finished his video, and he's selling it. On his sight it say's it's $8, but due to special connections and what not, I can get the video for $4. For you math junkies out there, you'll recognize my price to be half of what others pay. For those of you who are not mathematically inclined, trust me, it's half the price. Anyway, if you want to see Garrett's video and help get a family off the streets, leave a comment on this post saying you'd like a video. I'll order them from Garrett, then give you the video while you give me the money. Get how this works? But until then, we'll let Garrett keep trying to convince himself that life on the streets is actually pretty decent. He doesn't look convinced though, if you ask me...

all about Rachel

So this post is about my wife, Rachel. You all can see and understand now why I often refer to her as "Whale Belly". So she's a real trooper and loves to come out and skate with us. She doesn't do much skating, but she takes pictures and provides friendly conversation for you when you're tired and just want to sit. She takes tons of behind the scenes pictures of when we're just warming up or whatever, and they're mostly way better than the pictures I take, so I've been putting them up on the blog a lot lately. I guess I just wanted to officially recognize her contributions to the Bolts of Thunder cause. Thanks, Rachel! Here are a couple pictures she took on one of her outings with us when we were just warming up and having fun. Enjoy!: