Another interview with a super hero

Let me just sum it all up for you: Dan is amazing. With whatever he does, he does it with an inexplicably large does of awesomeness and ease. Not to say he doesn't work hard because I don't know anyone that works harder than him. Seriously, I'm not lying when I say that. He studied for 12-14 hours a day for a couple months straight for the GRE. I think I almost convinced him to make a little contraption to pee into when he was studying so he wouldn't have to get up for potty breaks. It would have consisted of a garden hose, a smith's plastic bag, and some duct tape. Anyway, I've known Dan for about 10 years now, we lived with each other for 3 years, and he never ceases to amaze me every time I'm with him. I have more stories from living and hanging out with Dan than almost any other person, and most of them sound unreal to people that don't know him. Like the time he rode Titanic style on his bike down from Sundance with his eyes closed, or the time he chased after the bear that had stolen his backpack, or the time that he cried when he got a shinner in my front yard... We all thought Dan was completely indestructible until we finally discovered his Achilles heal: his shins. Like I've seen Dan slam and hit his head and just keep skating like nothing happened. But this one time he was doing 360 flips and the board got him in the shin and he was out the rest of the day. Tears were shed, and my mom even tried to help him while he was lying in the street. I don't know why I'm going off on this, but I guess it's good to know that every super hero has their weakness... Anyway, Dan is one of my best friends and favorite people to hang out with. You're guaranteed good and memorable times when you're with him; Dan never lets you down when it comes to having fun. With this really long intro, I should just let you read his interview now. Here he is, in the cyber flesh:

(MrBoltsofThunder) So what's changed in your life since the last time we interviewed you (last summer)?

(Dan) I started dental school and thats pretty much it. I'm smarter than i was before i guess. some friendships have been strengthened and others were kindled.  

How many woman would you say, on average, you seduce in a single month?

haha. these past months have really thrown off my average. to my knowledge, i have seduced zero girls in a long time. 

I asked you this last time, but I need to ask you again. What's it like being a super hero? How does it feel to be virtually indestructible?

im not a super hero, although i wish i were. I love to get the maximum potential out of my body. i consider it a blessing to have a fully functional set of arms and legs to do cool things with. I like to feel powerful and agile. i guess thats why i do the sports that i do. indestructible? not at all. haha. I've really beaten myself up in the past while trying to push the limit on the bike and the snowboard mostly. Nothing terribly bad that i haven't been able to recover from has happened yet. 

How many stairs have you tail whipped on a razor scooter?

haha. probably like 7. 

That last question was just to counter any rebuttals you might have had against the super hero question. Nobody can tailwhip stairs on a razor scooter, but you have. So now what do you have to say about being a super hero? 

razer scootering isn't the coolest thing out there. i am aware of that. i also add that this was probably like 12 years ago. i like to try everything though, as long as its fun.  

What's your IQ? I'm curious to know...

haha. never checked. probably low. natural intelligence isn't one of my strong points. my brain works slow. 

Now let's talk video talk. What were some of your favorite highlights from the last Bolts of Thunder video?

Again, i like Dave's part the most. he rips. The movie was so creative and well put together. its not just about competitive skateboarding. it also shows the tight bond we have in the bolts of thunder family. 

What would you like to see in the new bolts of Thunder video?

looking forward to seeing some of the newest thunder bolt's parts. The kids that i don't know.

What direction do you see Bolts of Thunder going in? What is our future?

i hope we just keep it real. ya know. stick to our roots and let the whole world see it. 

One of my favorite stories from your European excursion last year was that night you got locked out of Margaret's place because Matchew was too drunk or stoned to open the door for you. As I recall you had to walk a couple hours to the train station to catch your train to London and had all kinds of amazing adventures on the way.

What happened there? shoot. worst night ever. long story. here goes...

i was walking up to margarets house making a video on my phone about how fortunate i felt for having arrived at my destination safe and happy. i got to the door and couldn't get in. waited outside with a crazy dude that wanted to get a hotel with me and told me so over and over for over an hour. i gave up trying to get in at  about one AM. told that dude to stop following me. walked through the bad part of town to mcdonalds. mcdonalds closed so I'm back on the street. guy felt sorry for me and offered me 10 euro. didn't take it.  kept on walking through ghetto paris. other crazy dude follows me for ten minutes asking me to pay him for sexual favors which he acted out with his hands and his mouth (prices started at 20 euro and went down to 0.00 euro). thats free! got away from that dude.  guy three followed me from behind for a bit. got away from him after a bit too. got to the north train station at 430. it was a place that was safe enough for the bums which was good enough for me. i slept an hour in front of the doors of the train station. woke up with a big group around me, they were trying to get in but i was blocking the door asleep on the ground. got on the chunnel to london at 6 am. slept one hour. had my finger on the trigger of my pepper spray the whole time. 

My other favorite story from Europe is your romantic escapade in the land of Cinque Terre. What happened there and what inspires a man to carry a bike over mountains in the hopes of partaking of the forbidden fruit?

i was determined to get some. i had to get at least a little before i left europe and i didn't wanna pay for it. she was gorgeous and i haven't spoken to her since. she lives in isreal. we hiked together, kissed on the beach. explored beautiful towns together and then slept next to each other in the hostel . i was on the ground next to her bed. parted ways after breakfast. 24 hours total. 

What are your dreams and ambitions?

Oral surgeon. stay active. keep friendships and make a family.

Ok, so let's get back into some Bolts of Thunder scenarios. First off, you and Matt were pretty much neck to neck last year in being the preferred cast away mate on an island. How does that make you feel? I mean, people that don't even know you chose you because of the awesome stories they hear of you. What is it about you that makes people want to be stranded on an island with you? Dave even forwent his option of having tools on the island. He said as long as you were there, he'd be just fine. 

we would fulfill different purposes. nobody would want to eff with matt. I like to have fun. i take my resources and try to maximize fun from the situation. 

A new scenario. So this year we're facing the zombie apocalypse. Who out of the Bolts of Thunder crew would you chose to have with you during the zombie apocalypse? And how would you stay alive? Would you just hide out, hunt zombies, what would you do?

id go with you Jon. we saw the road together and we know what to expect. we would hide out probably until we got hold of a tank of some sort. we would keep it safe but wed kill a zombie or two for sport when it didn't jeopardize our safety. 

Now let's say that the entire Bolts of Thunder crew is together and well armed. We're being surrounded by zombies on all sides, and a lot of them at that. How would Bolts of Thunder survive? Or how would we make our final stand? Who do you see being a hero?

we would let matt take the lead and we would tear a whole through the crowd. wed stay huddled together. all of us shooting from in every direction til we got to safety. sort of like in godzilla when they escaped from madison square gardens from the baby godzillas. 

Last question. I remember you trying to tell me why it's easier to do a backflip off a 60 foot cliff rather than a regular jump. Why is that? Try to explain in a way that us mere mortals will comprehend.

you don't have to watch yourself fall. you just have to slow your rotation and spot your landing at the end. 

Anything you'd like to say to end this interview? 

Thanks Jon. i hope to get some cool footage for the next video.