Angry house wives

Apparently our wives aren't taking us too seriously these days. So in an attempt to impress them, we've been stepping up our game. Filming non stop, practicing in our sleep, jumping through rings of fire, the whole get up. So we'll see who's laughing when our video drops. Like a ton of bombs, right on your head. That's what it's going to feel like when you watch our video. At least how that's one viewer described it to me. And I'm sure there are other testimonies that would be very similar, we just have yet to hear them. Well, I've been sitting at a computer all day working and editing, and it's time to eat some food. I'm out.

Adventures in bus riding

Ha, tricked you! You didn't think I was going to write today, did you? Well, once again, here we are. So all of Utah is up on smoke these days. It's raining ash and smells like a mass barbecue outside. All these fires lately reminded me of when I was on this field trip when I was a little kid. I was probably in first or second grade or something, and we went somewhere. Ok, as you can tell, the details are fuzzy. It was sometime in my childhood somewhere in California on a bus. That's the important part, the bus. So we were on this bus coming home from a field trip. And in good California fashion, there was a wild fire a blazin in the middle of the city, right next to the free way. It must have just started or something because there weren't fire trucks there yet. But I remember it pretty well, we were changing freeways on the bus, and we were just about to go under an overpass when all of a sudden it stood in front of us, flaring its nostrils, beating its chest, and baring its teeth. It was a California wildfire... It was actually on both sides of the freeway, but it wasn't too big. But as an 8 year old, or however old I was, it was pretty epic and scary to be driving into and through a fire. I imagine it looked something like on the end of Return of the Jedi when the Millennium Falcon shoots out of the exploding death star, our huge yellow bus going 40 miles an hour next to these little flames on the side of the freeway.

So we were turning the corner to get onto the other freeway when all of a sudden we see flames on both sides of the road we were on. So the bus driver, knowing how to deal with children in sensitive situations such as these, yelled out, "Everyone, sit down and shut up!" This of course set the entire bus in a uproar, and hoard of screaming, yelling, crying children on the bus. I remember everyone screaming really loud like we were driving through the jaws of Hell, but I remained silent. Yay, I uttered not a word. Silence, it's my form of being brave. I guess that's it, the end of that story. But now that we're talking bus talk, I just remembered the time that Matt got me to tell on myself for reading the bad words that were written on the back of a bus seat. It was a phrase with the f and b words in it. I said it right as Matt walked onto the bus, and he looked shocked. Which was funny, because we both swore a lot at the time (I was 8, Matt was 10. We learned most of these words from older kids and bus graffiti). I didn't think to just threaten to tell on him for always swearing, and for even having gotten caught for writing bad words on the bus earlier that year. But Matt told me that if I told my mom that I swore, I'd get less punishment than if he told on me. Turns out he had no intention of telling on me, he just wanted to see if I'd tell on myself, which I did. Cleaver little kid... He was right though, there was no punishment.


I put that picture up today so that you know that yes, we are in full swing of filming for our video, and, yes, I still have that confused air about me.

When animals attack

So sticking to our people getting worked by animals motif, I asked Ben to go into greater detail on his story of his scout master getting mauled by a bear at scout camp. Some stories are just so awesome, so amazing, so deep and profound that they need greater explanation. This story is one of them. So I caught up to Ben and asked him to share this with us. Here's what he had to say...

So there's not a whole lot of details involved in this story, but I'll do my best.

Scoutmaster: think large white man with a gnarly beard.  Bear: think hungry big beast that could tear you a new one.  So we were all at scout camp, and as per usual we got our welcome safety "don't-do-this" speech which consisted of a lot of things people have done in the past..no fireworks, no personal guns, don't leave food out, etc.  However, don't leave food out for the express purpose of getting a picture of a bear while you leave camp and set up your own tent hadn't made the list, and this loophole must have been the reason why our scoutmaster ventured into the woods to get his picture.  

He left food out, he poised for a picture, he saw a bear, and he got owned.  I don't think it was too bad, but he definitely got swiped, and I bet it had to do with the fact that the bear didn't like the flash of the camera too much.  Our Scoutmaster ended up being ok, but he did have a few cuts and bruises to go with his injured reputation.

Epilogue

We laid low for a couple years and didn't return to that camp until a few years later.  We figured nobody would remember the incident much less associate are troop number with our former scoutmaster.  While nobody pointed fingers at us, the safety speech included a story about some dumb guy who went off and left some food out to take a picture of a bear and ended up getting on Smoky's bad side.

Slamming and what not

This is what it looks like when a man takes a slam. He curls up into the fetal position and allows time to take its course. It's pretty much all one can do. But I'll tell you what a man does not do. Cry. Because then he wouldn't be a man if he cried... Ben's been killing it lately, and at the same time killing his body. If it wasn't for his wolverine-like rapid healing capabilities, he would have been out a long time ago. But no matter how hard he goes down, he's skating the next or a couple days later. It's pretty impressive and crazy all at the same time. He's been working really hard for his part in our up and coming video (2 weeks and some-odd days), so you should all be looking forward to it. I am. I haven't seen it yet. Because we haven't really started editing yet. The next couple weeks are going to be fun...

Speaking of people getting hurt, this guy got gored by a buffalo up in Yellowstone this last weekend in our campsite. I was in Yellowstone this last weekend, in case you are wondering how I know this information but failed to pick up the obvious hints I gave in the previous sentence. So the guy disregarded all of the warnings the park people give us and decided to play tag with a buffalo. He got within 10 to 15 feet, our sources told us, so the buffalo charged and got the guy right in the back. That would suck, those things are huge... Apparently he got taken out of there by a helicopter because the buffalo wasn't effing around and really did some damage. Then the buffalo decided to take up residency in our camp site and was literally feet from our tent when we went to sleep. We could hear it breathing through our tent. Like on Jurassic Park or a horror movie or something. Anyway, we made it out alright. I guess that's the end of the story. I saw a grizzly bear and old faithful was exactly on time.

Once again, Ben and AJ battle each other. This time it's AJ skating with Ben looking onward. This battle was located off a hefty 9 stair that equal slam, bruise, and the occasional ride away. The ride aways were always fun. I guess I don't have much else to say other than that. Here's another shot of this trick, a half cab by the way, without a lurking Ben in the background:

Formal intro to Bolts of Thunder 3's cast!!!

So you heard correctly yesterday, Bolts of Thunder is currently making its third video. We've only got a couple weeks left to finish it. So you're all wondering who is even in the video. While we're definitely going to have appearances from our past favorites, Dan, Dave, Nick (send us some footage, Nick...), Weston, Brandon, and others, there are 4 main people in the video. Even though you've seen pics of them on the blog, I thought a formal introduction would be a fitting way to start off the video anticipation this summer. So here they are, from left to right, Matt, Jon, Ben, and AJ. We're happy to serve you this year and to put ourselves in harms way so that you have some new form of entertainment!

Bolts of Thunder's third video!!!!!

"When I say ollie, you say how high! Now let's shoot this thing!!" - Matt, on set for Bolts of Thunder 3

Yes, that's right boys and girls, Bolts of Thunder is making a new video. A third video. A video to end all other videos, the likes of which the world has never known, and will never see again. We are planning on premiering it July 12th, I believe, which is a Thursday. If you're in town then, we'd love to have you join us for the premier. Details will follow. That means we have like 3 or 4 weeks left to film, that's it. That means I need to film some tricks... Anyway, we're starting to get on the ball, and we've got a video coming your way soon, so be on the look out!!!!

Text of the week

You didn't even know we have a text of the week. But we do. And this week's goes to Ben. It reads, "I almost pooped my pants, dude... Close call"

*note: the comma between pants and dude was added by the editor to maintain the high grammatical integrity of this blog

Cat smugglers

When I say that we have to get creative and help each other out to skate our spots, these pictures prove my point. Actually, now that I think of it, I don't know that I ever have said we have to get creative and help each other in order to skate our spots. Well, here it is, in case you didn't know. We have to get creative and help each other skate our spots. A long piece of wood, a friendly foot from Tyler, two foam cushions, and a gas can from Matt's car were all required just for AJ to do a backside 50-50 down this rail. The camera wasn't mandatory, but it probably helped...

So thinking of this spot, we skated it over two years ago. Me and Matt found it probably 3 or so years ago, and we thought it'd be cool to skate, but it has no runway. But with our make shift ramp, you have just enough speed to get yourself on that rail. When we started skating with Dave, I showed him the rail, and he was way excited about it. We made plans to skate it that weekend, and it was done. We were thinking front blunt, nosegrind, smith, all those tricks we wanted to do on a little rail. When we actually skated it, we saw it was way harder than anticipated and we walked away with two front boards and Dave's 50-50. He almost broke his hand, too. I guess none of what I'm saying right now is really relevant to these pictures, but nothing I ever put on the blog is, so what's the difference? I'll keep talking then. It's funny how that is at a lot of spots. You see it and this big list of tricks you could or want to do comes to your mind. But then when you start to skate it, you realize all the little things that make it hard to skate, like the cracks are bigger than you thought, police patrol the rail more often than anticipated, the rail wobbles out of nowhere, kids run around on the spot and get in your way, or your legs just don't feel like jumping. So hats off to you if you get over all that stuff and skate the spot anyway.

So AJ's backside 50-50 on this was harder than it looks because that rail is wobbly and that runway is unforgiving. I guess that's really all I should have said in the first place.\

Oh yeah, I just heard my noisy upstairs neighbors walk down the stairs which reminded me of a discovery my wife made in the garbage can earlier today: a fresh pile of kitty litter. Except we don't have a cat... But I know of at least two families in my living quarters that do have a cat, one being the noisy upstairs neighbors that always try to steel everyone else's parking spots and stomp on the stairs every time they leave the house. The other is a friend of mine, but I won't say his name. But you know who you are. Are you the one responsible for the kitty litter in my garbage? If so, what is the meaning of this? Are you trying to pin your illegal cat smuggling ways on me and my wife? Are you upset with Bolts of Thunder's management and trying to send a not so clear message? Are have you been wrongfully accused by strange upstairs neighbors as well?

Trading war stories

"Remember Nam?"
"Yeah... Hard times..."

Coleman the chameleon

If you look hard enough at that tree, you will notice Coleman jumping ninja style out at you, ready to attack as he always is. So Coleman's got one mean heelflip, but most people don't know that because he's always blending in with his surroundings, trying not to be seen as he ninjas his way from spot to spot. Anyway, we were barely able to capture him as he popped a heelflip up and over this gap last week. Expect to see some Coleman clips in our up and coming Bolts of Thunder video, coming out in about a month.

Dedicated to Derek

So we know that despite all the pilates and yoga I've been doing lately, my body still has one soft spot, and that being my heart. I hate seeing people hurt themselves, and a part of me always feels slightly responsible when it does happen. Especially if I really am responsible. But I think most of the time I'm not. I just hate seeing people get hurt. Anyway, we were skating this week with Derek and Chad. Well, others were skating. I wasn't. I was taking pictures. Derek was doing some kind of switch helicopter spin off these stairs when he came down hard on his ankle. We laughed and cried together at the bottom and gave him counsel on how to nurse it back to good health. Actually, there were no tears, and I don't think anyone laughed. If they did, shame on them! Anyway, Derek, we hope your ankle gets better soon and you're out there doing what you do soon. It's a shame too, we were just about to turn you pro for Bolts of Thunder. Guess that'll have to wait...

Link to video you should watch of AJ

You didn't believe me, but I have proof. You said it couldn't be done. But under extreme pressure, we've been known to pull off some amazing stunts. AJ, at least. Not everyone, but at least AJ has. Here's a link to the Volcom contest from last week and you'll see AJ's kickflip front feeble down the 8 stair!!!!! It's probably the shakiest trick that they filmed, but oh well, what can you do?... Anyway, once again, good job AJ!!!!! I don't know what the time is where his trick is, so just watch the entire thing. It's on there somewhere. And who's the kid that won? I don't know what he did to outdo a kickflip front feeble. So if someone figures that out, let me know, I'd like some answers... Oh yeah, and the screen shot is of AJ's back lip down the rail. Way to represent!

http://www.volcom.com/news/article.asp?articleID=6111

Part 2 of epic saga

So today we continue on an epic journey through space and time. We enter the world of me. My world. A world of pain. At least when I'm hurting, then it's painful. But if I'm not hurting, it's quite pleasant. So this picture is two years old and this trick will not be in our video. But I had nothing else to put up, so I put up this one... So I'm going to continue to answer your questions that you asked me last week on the blog. I'm excited for today's questions because... well, no particular reason, I'm just excited for them. So let's get moving, shall we?...

1. DavidMay 29, 2012 10:48 AM

   so, whats up with Italy?

   
   

   So Italy is this magical land where everything you eat is amazing, everything you see is historical, beautiful, and in pristine condition, and the people don't stress all that much about life. We discovered this land last year during our trip to France, and I loved it. So last year I got a scholarship to learn Italian, I learned it, and now my wife Rachel and I are going to Italy for a semester. I'm doing an internship there, and we're going to eat good food every day and travel a lot. It'll be awesome, epic, and fun all at the same time. We'll be there from September to December, and I expect that you, Dave, are going to pay us a little visit with Lauren. Skating will be had, stories will be told, tears will be shed, friendships renewed, memories forged, and food eaten. I tell you, that food is so good...
2. 
   DavidMay 29, 2012 10:48 AM

   what do you call that patch of hair that people grow right above their arse?

   Back Patch. I don't sport one, but I have a mean bush of neck hair that is encroaching on my upper back. It's a sign a manliness and laziness all bottled up into one ugly package.
3. 
   DavidMay 29, 2012 10:49 AM

   I use woman's deodorant. I guess this isn't really a question.

   
   

   Thank you, Dave, for bringing up this point. I wore woman's deodorant for over a year. Someone had given my family a couple year supply of Sure, women's deodorant, when I was 18, and we were too poor to buy anything else. So I sported it that entire time. I loved the smell of it, it kept me dry, and I think it made my hair grow longer. Keep it up Dave, it'll make your beard lush and thick.
4. 
   DavidMay 29, 2012 10:52 AM

   worst thing about being a white guy in Utah?

   
   

   All the racism. Actually, when I do see a black guy in Provo, I can't help but think, "he's one of maybe 20 black people in this entire city..." Then while I think that, I stare, and as I stare, I think, "don't stare or he'll think you're racist," then I awkwardly walk by trying not to make eye contact, but trying to make eye contact at the same time so he won't think I'm avoiding him because of his race, then I think, "I'm weird..." when the entire encounter is over. Always awkward. I never had this problem in California. In this skate video my friends made in California, I was the only white guy in it. It was two black brothers, three Mexicans, and me. That's the worse thing about being a white guy in Utah, no black people in our skate videos...
5. 
   rachelhart08May 31, 2012 9:27 PM

   -Where should Bolts of Thunder meet when the zombie Apocalypse happens? 

   
   

   I say we meet up in our parking lot if we can. That'd be a good place to go over supplies and duties. If provo is too chaotic for even that, or if you miss out on the band wagon, meet us up in hobble creek canyon. There are fresh water springs, deer, flat grass plots, and plenty of lumber for defenses. That's where I'd camp out. Meet me there...
   
   -How has it been so far having a wife that wakes up and leaves the house every day in the 5AM hour? 

   The bad: I wake up for a brief moment and sometimes struggle to fall back asleep. 

   The good: I get to finally stretch my legs/arms/body across the bed. Now that I have a queen size bed, I have less space than I did when I had a little twin mattress because Rachel has claimed most of the bed as her own. I'm too nice/weak to fight her over it, and I've given up trying. So Rachel gets most of the bed, and I get pushed up against the wall while I sleep. All you married people know exactly what I'm talking about...

   
   -Baths or showers?

   Mostly showers. A bath with epsom salt when I'm sore
   
   -Scenario: Zombie Apocalypse ...we're at base camp, and we have my iPod and your iPod, so what will we listen to until both of them die? (I think I actually know the answer to this...so we'll see if you are right)

   There will be classical music in there to keep me feeling sane and smart. When the zombies attack I will put on some Korn, GG Allen, or Lincoln Park. When we're building forts, we'll listen to 98 Degrees. When we're having counseling sessions about the fallen of our people, we'll have some Crowded House background music. That song about being my baby and going to the moon will be playing a lot. Other than that, just the usual: Blur, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Nickleback, Kick Rock, and the occasional Bruce Springstein.... If that's all we had to choose from as far as music goes, and would actually try to find a way to siphon out the batter power from the ipods and charge something more useful, like a two way radio or something. And even if I failed, I'd rather just live in silence... Did I get the answer right?
   
   -Now please tell everyone why you fell in love with me because this is what everyone wants to know. At least all your girl blog followers... (see, I responded by friday)

   Your legs. So all you girl blog followers, try to make your legs grow another foot or so and then boys will start to like you. Until then, it's going to be a rough game for you...
   
   

   1. 
      

      
      

      zacharyschmackeryMay 31, 2012 10:58 PM

      If you had to replace your blood with either v8 juice or stupid nasty Hawaiian punch which would choose, and why?

      
      
      V8 Juice for sure. If I were to sweat one of them and had to drink it, it would be V8 splash. But I will tell you this, don't be fooled by V8 looking all healthy and what not. It still has a lot of added sugar in it. You're better off drinking water. Or gatorade or something
   2. 
      zacharyschmackeryMay 31, 2012 10:59 PM

      Its probably been answered but when is the deadline for the new video? Id like to film a few things.

      
      
      We're looking at the first week of July. At least I think that's when it is. I'm not sure... But yes, you need to film some more stuff. call me Zak, let's get on it...
   3. 
      zacharyschmackeryMay 31, 2012 11:01 PM

      If you could have a dinosaur for a pet which dinosaur would you choose, and why?

      
      

      Not a swimming one. I think my last interviewed exhausted that possibility. I would have one I could ride and one that wouldn't eat me. A vegetarian. And one that is house trained, nice to children, would allow people to give me money to pet it, and gets good gas mileage. If all the gas is gone in the zombie apocalypse, I would ride the dinosaur around. I don't know the name of the specific model I'm referring to, but I'm sure there's one that existed that performed these duties and more. That's the one I'd get.
   4. 
      zacharyschmackeryMay 31, 2012 11:06 PM

      Would you take a bath in v8 juice and then run around town till you were all sweaty and smelly if it meant that somewhere in the world two people would put down the crackpipe and turn their drug ridden lives around?

      
      

      For sure. I'd do most anything to help anyone stop doing drugs. At least I like to think I would. To be completely honest and serious, drugs ruin more lives than just about anything in the world. Think of all the bad things that would be eliminated if nobody ever did drugs. Smoking cigarettes and drinking, which are both legal once you're old and mature and smart and know what you're doing to your body and society, also lead to a lot of problems, so I'd stay away from those at all cost. Our country and planet loses more lives and money every year because of drug use and drug related incidents than just about anything else. And guess what, kids, you're no cooler after you start doing drugs than you were before. So if you're trying to be a rebel against your parents for forcing you to go to summer camps and be a good person, why don't you try something original and fun as a form of rebellion. Getting into drugs is the oldest one in the books, it won't be fun when you're in jail, living off of welfare, or dead. So don't do drugs. Don't even get close to doing them. And that's all I have to say about that. Actually, I could go off forever on this, but I'll stop. Actually, no, I won't, I have one more thing to say. Almost all of my friends that I grew up skating with are in jail, have been in jail, are living on their parent's couch at age 30, or have died because they got into drugs. They thought it was way fun at first, but then they got addicted and had to do harder drugs and it all went down hill from there. It's sad, I just found out that this kid Logan I knew in St George died a year ago from overdosing from drugs. He was seriously the most talented skater I'd met in St George, but then he got so lazy from drugs and eventually died. It's just sad and a waste of life, so don't do it kids. You'll thank me later when you have a life...
6. 
   rachelhart08June 1, 2012 10:35 AM

   Do we get a prize for leaving interview questions?

   
   

   Yes, you get your name on the blog. If I had a friend that had a skating blog like this, I'd write comments on it all the time just to see my name in writing. That is your reward.

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   Now the rest of these questions are from Matt. He emailed them to me. Thanks, Matt, appreciate it!

   
   

   
   

   1. zombie scenario questions

   
   

   
   

   If I had to choose one person from Bolts of Thunder to be with me, it would be Matt. Even if neither of us knew at all what we were doing, we'd at least have fun. Even when it sucked super bad, we'd find something to laugh about. We'd find some kind of ball or object to throw at each other and stay up all night throwing the object back and forth. I don't see things changing all that much in this scenario, we'd just be battling zombies on top of what we usually do.

   
   

   Now, in the scenario that we're all together and zombies are bearing down on us, this is how it would go down. First, we're well armed and we have a warehouse where we're staking out. We would have Nick and Ammon in a back room with dead zombie specimens so they could do brain analysis and try to come up with some cure. Or at least find out what makes them tick. It'd be good to keep Nick out of the fighting area because I could see him otherwise being a hero/martyr and taking a zombie bite for Dan when Dan would have gotten out of it anyway. I don't want to do Nick in because he's turning into a zombie, so we'll keep him busy in the back looking at zombie brains. Brian would be on weapons duty, we'd have him perched up on the roof, and he'd snipe all the zombies he could. He would have also given us basic fighting drills, so we'd feel pretty prepared for this moment... Who am I kidding? We would all be armed and just shooting like crazy. I like to think my sleeves somehow got ripped off during the battle and I'd be sporting a sleeveless camo shirt and dog tags around my neck. As long as I can go down looking like a soldier, I'd be happy. If Matt and/or Brian saw the zombies try and mess with me, the zombies better start running, because they'd just start ripping them in half with their bare hands. I see Dave with a gun and some kind of blunt object in his hands, and he'd be bashing in zombie brains. He would fall into this kind of trance where he wouldn't hear or feel anything, his eyes would be wide open and staring off as he summoned super human strength and bashed in the zombies. Dan, or course, wouldn't even realize the gravity of the situation, he would think it was kind of fun shooting zombies, like it was a video game. Except he wouldn't realize that in real life you can actually shoot the guys on your team, and at least one of us would get a bullet from Dan's gun lodged somewhere in our vital organs. We'd have to operate later after the battle, and there'd be lots of blood, morphine, and eventually a passing of life. It'd be someone that was really well prepared too, just because that's how it always happens. Ben would be in good shape for this battle from all his exercise, so he'd be good to go all day. AJ would be in shock, and we'd have to keep shaking him around to get him back in the game. But he'd pull through and shoot a zombie right before it attacked someone from behind. He'd save the day that way...

   
   

   
   

   2. what do you dislike most from the first bolts of thunder video. what do you like most? (tell the truth)

   
   

   To be completely honest, I don't dislike anything from that video. there are a few things I'd edit differently, but that's it. I still like the entire video. I like it so much because it was 100% our crew video, we didn't have any expectations to live up to or anything, there was no hype on it at all except from us, and we made it exactly how we wanted to. The one thing that comes to mind that I would edit differently would be Dave's intro. I would go with our original idea of this shot of Dave limping around all sweaty and hurt and mumbling incoherently with that blonde redhead song playing in the background. Just simple, but it'd explain a lot about Dave. 

   
   

   What I like the most about that video is just what I said earlier: it was our homie video, there was nothing we were trying to prove to anyone, we weren't trying to make a video how everyone these days makes videos, we wanted to do it exactly how we wanted to. Because we did that, we'll be able to look back on the video in years from now and not feel embarrassed for trying to make a video that just falls into the same category as every other video you see these days.

   
   

   3. dislike/like most about second video?

   
   

   Not so much dislike, but I wish the original crew was around a lot more when we were making it. Everyone had full parts which was just amazing considering Dan and Dave didn't even live in Provo and Nick was so busy with school, having a kid, and moving. But it would have been fun if everyone was here again for the entire summer like the year/years before that. 

   There are a few things that I would edit differently also. I would make a separate part for Sam and have a really epic song for him. He's an epic skater.

   
   

   I love the intro to the second video. You would too if you had drawn each frame of it. It was my little brain child, and I have deep feelings for it. I also like that we still stuck to our roots in making the video. We didn't try to be serious or anything.

   
   

   4. if you were arranged to marry someone and you made an oath that you would, but then completely fell in love with someone else, would you keep your word and marry the first? or would you follow the desires of your heart, and possibly other body organs, and marry the second?

   
   

   I'd go with my heart and associated body organs. I'm flaky like that... Here's your second soap box, kids. Don't be flaky! too many people are in this world, and it drives me nuts. Do what you say you will. but in this case, I'd fake my death, skip town, move to Italy, eat good food, and live it up with my wife. That's pretty much what I'm doing this year, except I'm not faking my death, I just flat out told you all where I'm going.

   
   

   5. 3 favorite movies from the past 3 years.

   
   

   I know Water World is more than 3 years old, but that has to be mentioned in this blog post somewhere. This is as fitting a place as any... This is a really hard one because I can't seem to remember ever having seen movies in the past 3 years... Inglorious Bastards was awesome, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo sucked me into the story the second it started, and the Avengers was really fun to see a couple weeks ago. Those aren't my favorites, I don't know that I have any favorites, but I liked watching those ones. And the rated R movies I saw were edited. I don't like listening to swearing and looking at women I'm not married to's naked parts.

   
   

   6. favorite trick you have ever landed

   
   

   I remember the first time I kickflipped a 6 stair, it was unreal. I had only learned to kickflip a few months earlier after not having been able to kickflip my first 2 years of skating (one year of really trying ever day). I felt like I had just gone through this initiation process and became a man skater. Now that I think of it, probably the first clean kickflip I landed on flat ground was one of the most satisfying feelings I've ever had. I remember exactly where I was: behind the foot and ankle institute on Main St in St George. Matt remembers it too. for some reason I could never land them, I'd always chip my board trying, and they'd spin half a varial flip when I'd try. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, it clicked in my mind and body, and I could land them. Just like that, I felt like I figured it out, and I landed it. Matt was shocked to see me finally land it, we had a little celebration, then he told me to land another one. And I did. And another one. I landed 5 in a row right then after never having landed one. The next day I kickflipped off a curb at my church.  I think the favorite tricks I've landed are the ones I figured I would never land, but then I did. Like grinding a handrail, doing a switch frontside flip, or learning back tails. Those were all really fun to learn...

   
   

   7. do you feel sad that I used to be mean to you if you didn't try hard tricks when you were a kid?

   
   

   I honestly don't remember you being mean. You'd have to give me an example. But I can really hesitate sometimes. Sometimes I'm just feeling it and I'll go for whatever trick I'm trying. And it usually turns out way better that way. Except for sometimes I slam, then I revert back to hesitating and trying it out until I feel comfortable. So I can understand getting frustrated with me when I looked at the 9 stair at the hospital for 2 hours before even trying it. Then I landed it first try. Or things like that. But I don't remember you ever being mean. I actually like the push you give, and it encourages me to just get the trick over with. So no, I don't feel sad at all. I honestly can't think of too many differences between our skating back in the day and now.

   
   

   8. Why would I do something like that?

   
   

   You just wanted to see me land a trick. It's the same reason we still try to convince and coach people into trying crazy stuff today. We just want to see it, I guess.

   
   

   9. can you share your favorite logging story with us? 

   
   

   There are quite a few funny ones. I use to be a logger in California, for about 8 months. I was scared almost every day that I went to work because I didn't want to die. Other people had died or gotten seriously hurt in my neighborhood while logging, so it wasn't some unfounded fear. But I also really liked the job a lot. One of the funniest/scariest things that happened was when Eric Holmes, my jerk supervisor, cut a tree that fell on him and almost crushed his body in half. He was up in the tree, and he had this strap on his belt going around the tree to hold him there, and he had spikes on his boots that he stuck into the tree to stand on. So his legs and waste were firmly planted on the tree while his upper body was free to move around and get bent in half. So he screwed up really bad cutting the top part of the tree, and it fell right on top of his chest. Then his body folded backwards like a little lego guy, his back was bent 90 degrees backwards while his legs didn't move at all. Then I had to pull the tree off of him with a rope he had tied onto the tree. It was super scary when it was happening, and I couldn't get the tree to budge for a minute, it just balanced on his chest. But then it finally fell off and Eric flung around like a rag doll and gasped for air. He made this sick gasping sound, like 10 times worse than what Dave did after slamming on that double set rail. The guy lost his nerve after that and tried getting me to climb trees for him without paying me to do it. I declined. So he tried getting this other kid to climb the trees for him too, but he was too afraid to do it. The guy finally got fired, and I got to work with the boss of the company who was super cool and funny. I loved the job after that because I didn't have Eric yelling at me to work harder and faster all the time. He would tell me to run through the woods with chainsaws and axes in my hands. The guy was an idiot.  

   
   

   Another funny story was Juan, the illegal old Mexican man that worked with us. He spoke no English but would always try carrying on conversations with me. It usually turned into both of us using some type of reformed sign language to communicate. I remember the day he tried asking me if I was married or had a girl friend. I didn't understand, so he finally resorted to using his fingers and clenched fist to act out sexual intercourse. It was disturbing and funny to see what the old dude thought of sex. I always thought of that every time I saw him until the authorities caught up to him and he ran off and hid. Literally, we watched him run off and hide in the woods. I assume he escaped...

   
   

   10. it seems you've complained slightly about the fact that me and a couple other people haven't written you questions yet. However, half your interview is longer than anyone else's full interview. What makes you think you haven't had enough questions so far? Why do you feel the need to have an array of people ask you questions about your life? 

   
   

   I guess I like attention... I have a lot to say it turns out, but I need some probing sometimes to know what to talk about. Your questions, it turns out, are all the probing I need... 

   
   

   11. is there something you want to get off your chest? any personal things you need to talk about?

   
   

   Nothing too personal. Just have fun when you skate. Don't do drugs. Don't be flaky. Be nice to people. I think that's what I'd like to end with: be nice to people, be a good friend, and try to help people if you can. You'll be happy that way.

AJ got 2nd in Volcom's contest!

I don't have a picture to put up right now. And I know I said I'd finish my interview today, but that's not happening. Instead, I wanted to announce something really cool: AJ got 2nd place in Volcom's contest at American Fork on Saturday!!!!! He landed a kickflip front feeble down the 8 stair second try. I didn't even know he could do that trick... Anyone that might have filmed it, let me know, I'm eager to get my greedy little fingers on that footage... That's all I wanted to say today. Congratulations, and good job AJ!!!!

Part 1 of epic saga

This is me and today is my interview. Or at least the first part of my interview. That's right, I get two. Well, when you're writer of this blog, you can do whatever you want. That's pretty much how I roll: feet on my couch, don't care who you are. I got a bigger response than I was expecting with the questions you guys left on the posts, so I'm going to have to split them up into two interviews. And when I say you guys, I specifically am referring to 70% Zak, 15% Coleman, 5% AJ, 5% Dave, and 5% Rachel. If I've done my math correctly, those percentages add up to 100, accounting for the correct proportion of questions people have asked me. I'm still waiting for Matt to ask me questions, so he's got another chance seeing as I can't answer all my questions in one day. And Ben, where are you? Anyway, you don't care to know any of this, but I'm too pressed for time to go back and erase anything I've already said, so we'll just push ahead.

Today is my interview. And I've kind of been looking forward to this for some time now. I know I get to write every day and say whatever I want, but I like your questions, and they make me think of things I wouldn't normally write about. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Jon, I'm 27 but with a clean shaven face I put on the appearance of an 18 year old, as seen in the photo above. I skateboard, I break ribs, I don't skate when I break ribs, I heal up, and I start to skate again. That pretty much sums it for me. If you have any further questions for me, leave them as a comment and I'll answer them in my next interview next time I write.

Oh yeah, one more bit of info, I have no pictures of me skateboarding that you haven't already seen on this blog. Crazy, huh? So that's why I put up my Mofia shot up above, it's the best I can do... With no further delay, I give you my interview...

1. zacharyschmackeryMay 25, 2012 11:49 PM

   If you could do only one trick for the rest of your life what would it be? There should be two answers, one for transition and one for otherwise.

   
   
   (Jon) Easy answer for me. Kickflip. I've thought about this question a lot actually, so I came into this interview prepared. I love to kickflip, it's the funnest and best feeling trick to do over and over. When I skate flat ground in our parking lot I usually warm up with a bunch of kickflips and fakie flips. Then once I'm warmed up, I just keep doing kickflips and fakie flips over and over. I can go out and skate and just do kickflips and come back inside and feel like I really accomplished a lot that day. I've got butterflies in my stomach just thinking of kickflips...
   
   
   As far as transition goes, it'd be a good old fashioned frontside slash grind. It's the scared man's version of the frontside 5-0. You can do it in any kind of transition, and they're really run to whip around real quick. And the truck grinding on the coping or whatever it is usually feels really cool on your feet, so I love to do that trick over and over.
2. 
   zacharyschmackeryMay 25, 2012 11:51 PM

   Coleman: What would you do if the redhead Wendy from Wendy's to your door and asked to go to the bathroom.

   
   

   Well just so you know, the founder of Wendy's always thought of Wendy's as a nice restaurant, not a fast food place. That's why Wendy's has carpet on the floor so that when you spill your root beer all over the place it can make the clean up a hassle for the workers and leave a nice black stain for your posterity to see one day. Actually, I'm really serious, this girl in 9th grade did a research project on Wendy's and told us all about the founder and how he was so proud that he made a hamburger place that was a real restaurant and not a fast food place. Guess what 9th grade girl, I can't think of anything that's more fast food than Wendy's. You failed that project...

   With that in mind, if Wendy showed up on my door, I'd probably lecture her on how she sold out and Wendy's isn't the quality establishment the founder hoped it to be. As to whether or not I'd let her use my bathroom, I don't trust Wendy, and I don't want her spreading diseases on my toilet seat. So no, I wouldn't let her in.

   
   
3. 
   zacharyschmackeryMay 25, 2012 11:59 PM

   have you ever had an ingrown hair on your nipple? How did you deal with it? If you had to choose between an ingrown nipple hair and a severe two day headache which would you choose?
   I've never had an ingrown hair on my nipple, no. I can't even imagining it hurting all that much, so I'd go with that over the head ache for sure. Head aches suck, but ingrown hairs are doable. And plus, they're fun to try and dig out with tweezers and what not. So it'd be kind of fun to have a little project to work on when I'm going to the bathroom.
4. 
   zacharyschmackeryMay 25, 2012 11:59 PM

   Whitney Houston or Justin Beiber?

   
   
   Whitney Houston for sure. She was in one of the good movies with Kevin Costner, right before he made Water World (sorry Maranda, that's on my really bad movie list). I think one deserves special recognition for being in a good movie with Kevin Costner.
5. 
   zacharyschmackeryMay 26, 2012 12:01 AM

   Say you are being forced at gunpoint to either do smack or crack, the gunman is pretty tweaked out himself so hes gonna shoot if you hesitate to choose. What do you do?

   I've been training for this type of situation. As part of my training I watch the final scene of Pulp Fiction over and over where Samuel L Jackson shows all the world what it really means to be a bad motha f---er. I'm actually glad that I'm in this situation, with a gun pointed at my face and all, because I've been waiting for the chance to be Samuel L Jackson. So I pull the old Sammy J on him and go for the smack. But then I grab his arm with the gun and pull it back behind me really fast so he doesn't have time to put a bullet in my stomach. With my other hand I put my gun up to his face, the gun that I keep in the back waist of my little blue shorts, and I stare at him super intensely with my flaring nostrils. Then I go on about my intervention I've had and I try to convert him to the good way. 
   
   
                   And if it all goes bad, at least I die without ever having done drugs.
   
   
   
6. 
   zacharyschmackeryMay 26, 2012 12:12 AM

   If you were forced into exile for ten years where would you rather spend your time? The Moon(assuming you had oxygen and all the required supply's). A small cave at the bottom of the ocean(also with oxygen and all needed supply's). The most comfortable chair in the world(but you cant move from the chair for ten years). In a deep sleep(but you would experience terrible nightmares every so often). Or on a small boat on the ocean. Write a small response to each option and say why or why not you chose that option.

   
   

   First I will tell you which scenario I choose. I would go to the moon. It would be pretty cool to be bouncing around up there and driving one of those moon cars. I'd bring my board and I could jump down or over anything I wanted without getting hurt. Also, so I wouldn't lose all my muscle, I assume they will furnish me with a gym and what not to keep my body lean and toned. Also, I just learned from Men in Black 3 that there are already people living on the moon, and it would be possible to stage an escape if I wanted and come back to Earth to seek revenge on those who exiled me. That's all if I wanted to, but it might not come to that anyway.

   
   

   I would not want to be in a small cave in the ocean because I am horrified of sharks. The entire time I'd be thinking of this dinosaur book that we had when I was a little kid. It had all these pictures of dinosaurs doing their thing: eating, walking, fighting, and roaring. But then there was a little section of the book that was dedicated to water dinosaurs. Those dinosaurs scared me SO bad. When I say they scared me so bad, I just lifted my feet off the ground as I thought about them because I didn't want one of them to snag my feet as I wrote on the computer. Those images still scare to this day... I didn't even learn to swim in the deep end of a pool until I was 12 because of them. My grandparents had a pool in their back yard, and when I was a little kid we'd all be over there with all my cousins and stuff swimming in the pool. But I'd be hanging on to the edge of the shallow end for dear life, warning my older siblings and cousins or the perils that come from flirting with swimming dinosaurs. Any time I tried to swim on my own, I'd think of one of those things biting my legs off, I'd panic, and I'd almost drown. It sucked. Then, to make things worse, our parents signed us up for swimming lessons at the local city pool. Me and Matt were in the same beginner class, then when the next season came and we were all supposed to move up to the next level, I should have stayed behind in the beginners class because I don't think I successfully swam that entire time. I usually just held on to the edge of the pool and did my best to be invisible for an hour. But I didn't want to be in the class alone, so I got advanced into the next class with Matt even though we both knew I was going to drown somewhere in the course of these swimming lessons. At least I'd drown with my brother by my side... So the first day of class, the teacher wanted to make sure everyone in the class could at least swim like 10 feet, so she got out about 10 feet from the edge of the pool and had everyone swim out to her. As she moved down the line of kids towards me, I knew I was going to fail her little test and get sent back to the ultimate beginner class by myself, where I'd be banned for life because I valued my life more than tempting the sea monsters. But I wanted to at least try and swim to the lady. So when it was my turn, I geared up, pushed off the wall, flailed around like I was drowning, which I probably was, started to sink a little, then all of a sudden I propelled forward to the teacher. I was beyond amazed that my body, out of nowhere, had developed the necessary skills to survive afloat in the water. The lady then had me swim back, which I couldn't do, so she pushed me a little, and I slowly drifted back to the edge. Matt was next, and he swam to the lady no problem. When he got back, I was so happy to ask him, "did you see me swim?!!!!" Then Matt looked at me very casually and said, "no, you didn't swim, you were going to drown so I got under the water and pushed you..." Chasing away one of the proudest feelings I'd ever had in myself and replacing it was an even prouder feeling that my brother had snuck under water and pushed me forward just so that we could stay in the same class. After that, we developed this little routine that we did pretty much every time I had to swim. I'd get ready, then Matt would duck under the water and push me with his legs. With my momentum and my sporadic kicking and arm flinging, I'd usually make it just far enough. I don't know if the instructors just didn't care or never noticed, but either way, we literally pulled that little act every single time I was supposed to swim, and I passed the class to the next level. Despite everyone's best efforts to teach me to swim, I shoved it back in their faces with a little help from my brother. I finally learned to swim when I was 12, and I love to swim now. But no, Zak, I would not want to be in the small ocean cave because I might see one of the swimming dinosaurs.

   
   
   Not the chair. My job right now (not teaching skateboarding or babysitting) consists of sitting in a chair for however long I can manage every day and researching solar panel companies. It is among some of the most boring work I have ever done in my life. But, I enjoy it because it breaks up my routine a little bit. Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is that no matter how comfortable the chair that I am in, I've learned that I can't sit for more than an hour or so before my legs get angry and something begins to stir deep within me, forcing me up and out of my chair and into the adjacent rooms in my apartment, which is one, the kitchen. I wouldn't last more than half a day in that chair before I'd want them to just send me to the moon.
   
   
   Not the deep sleep. I will tell you this though, I am a great sleeper. It runs in my blood. My mom is the best sleeper I have ever met. She can sleep any time anywhere as long as she has at least 3 minutes of uninterrupted lying/sitting down time. She even fell asleep on this freeway in California that was being repaired. There was heavy traffic, so she thought she'd take a little snooze while she waited, reclined back her seat, and woke up several hours to an empty freeway. You could only drive on the freeway from 6 to 7 in the morning when they had a police car escort people up and down the freeway. She slept through the escort and just sat there on the freeway. When the escort started up and she was not moving, they sent cops to see what was up. After shaking her car, honking their horns, and yelling at her to wake up, they thought she might have died or something. So they brought in a firetruck to see what was up. The fire truck honked its horn at her, and she didn't budge. You know the horn I'm talking about, the fire truck horn that you can hear from miles away. She didn't budge. She woke up several hours later after they realized she was just sleeping and wasn't really hurting anyone by sitting there, so they let her sleep it off. She woke up, was confused as to where she was, then started driving back up the freeway to go home. When she got to the top (we lived on a mountain, it was the freeway that goes up the mountain) of the freeway, there was a cop waiting for her. He stopped her, told her the story, then radioed in to headquarters, "Yeah, she woke up, she's up the mountain." I share this story with you to illustrate that I come from a family of seasoned sleepers, and given a comfortable spot, a little background noise, and no agenda, we can fall asleep in random places and for a long time. So I wouldn't need to be exiled to have to sleep a lot. I can do that on the moon whenever I want. And plus, I hate nightmares. I have probably one a week where I fall off of a cliff. It always feels so real when I'm falling, and I usually jump and wake up right when I'm about to hit the ground. The last one I had I was trying to get home from Africa and had to take a boat and got caught in this crazy storm. I was scared out of my mind. And that brings me to our last scenario. A small boat in the ocean is just a bad idea. An unfriendly sea and getting sick are among the worst scenarios for a 10 year exile.
7. 
   zacharyschmackeryMay 26, 2012 12:16 AM

   You are offered one million dollars a year for the rest of your life. The only catch is every six months you have to pass a kidney stone. Would you take it?

   
   
   Definitely. My mom passes a kidney stone every other week or so, and she's just fine, so I think I could handle two a year for all that money.
8. 
   zacharyschmackeryMay 26, 2012 12:17 AM

   If you could only save one life me (Zak) or Coleman who would you choose to save?

   Don't make me choose between you two! You know I couldn't live if livin was without you. But if I really had to choose, I'd want to see your guys' resumes first and have each of you explain to me why you're more fit to live. Then I'd make my decision.
9. 
   zacharyschmackeryMay 26, 2012 12:18 AM

   Favorite Power Ranger?

   The blue one splattered with his own blood, which then he'd be the green one. I hated the power rangers because I thought the Ninja Turtles were so much cooler. And they are.
10. 
    zacharyschmackeryMay 26, 2012 12:21 AM

    Coleman:Do you think Will was a tad cruel to Carlton. Or do you think Carlton deserves it?
    
    The above question was also Coleman.

    Carlton's a jerk, but Will definitely over reacted.

    
    
11. 
    zacharyschmackeryMay 26, 2012 12:26 AM

    Coleman: Kill Marry Rape
    
    Fred Flintstone, Myspace Tom, Bulma from Dragon ball Z

    
    

    Neither, neither, neither. I don't play that game, sorry.
12. 
    ajneuenswanderMay 29, 2012 8:40 AM

    what got you into skateboarding?

    
    
    My older brothers. They always had skateboards growing up, and I knew those to be dangerous toys, good for nothing but chipping your teeth (Matt and Brian both chipped their teeth riding on their knees on skateboards). When I was 10, Matt and Brian were both starting to actually standing up right on their boards and learning tricks, a foreign concept to me. So I would go out with them, and I started learning to ride around. Not that I really loved skating, I just wanted to have fun with my brothers. But then I actually did start to have fun doing it. Matt even taught me to do little mini ollies on flat ground. So when I was 11 I ordered a skateboard from CCS. It took about 8 months for the skateboard to arrive. I was pissed. So pissed. Seriously, who waits 8 months to send a kid a skateboard? I had already paid for it. I even threw a pine cone at the UPS truck one time because I was hoping he'd bring my board that day and he didn't. By the time I got the board, I had moved to St. George and was learning to golf. Me and Matt would go out every now and then for about a year and skateboard. I couldn't do anything except ride a little and flat ground ollies every couple tries or so. For an entire year I unsuccessfully tried to ollie over a little curb while Matt could do it every try. I didn't have much fun with it because I sucked so bad and was too afraid to stay on my board. But then right before 7th grade started, Matt met this kid named Nick that was 10, a little taller than me, had a bicked head, wore a shirt with a skull that wore a viking helmet that he had made himself, and camouflauge pants. He was years ahead of his time. Nick turned out to be super cool and fun to hang out with. The first time I skated with him I saw that skating was way funner than I imagined it to be. After that I was hooked. Me and Matt have skated with each other almost every single day since I was in 7th grade, and it's been the funnest time I've had.
13. 
    ajneuenswanderMay 29, 2012 8:40 AM

    how did bolts of thunder start?

    
    
    Me and Matt were making fun of mormon movies made by Hail Storm productions. We were driving in the car and talking about our spin off series of mormon movies we were going to make, but they'd be really dark thrillers. Like "The Excommunicated", "Mystic Font", and "Mormon Town". We were thinking of our production company, and it evolved from hail storm into thunder storm, thunder bolt, and finally bolts of thunder. It stuck.
14. 
    ajneuenswanderMay 29, 2012 8:41 AM

    feelings about the new video?

    
    
                    It'll be fun to watch when it's over with. Until then, I'm going to have a hard time sleeping at night because I'm thinking of tricks I want to do, can't do, should have done, or I wish I would do if I just manned up. It happens every single time I've ever made a video. When I was 18 I couldn't sleep for about a month because every single night I'd think of doing a back lip down this 10 stair rail. I tried it several times, broke my board each time, then finally landed it 3rd try one day. Then I the next couple months following I couldn't sleep at night because I couldn't get a hold of the kid that filmed it. I was bummed I'd never see the footage and have to do it again. It was scary. But I magically ran into the kid in San Diego several months later, forced him to give me his email, phone number, and home address, set up a time I would come over to his house, and went there several times before I finally caught him there. He tried giving me an excuse of why he couldn't give me the footage, but I refused to leave until I got it. So I got it from him and never spoke to him again. He was a flaky kid... 
15. So for this video, I don't know how I feel. The more I stress about videos, the less I want to make them. The last video was so stressful for some reason, and I swore in my wrath I wasn't going to make another one. I didn't film anything until just a few months ago. But that being said, I have so much fun skating flat ground every day. You don't have to be filming and making videos to have fun. 

Final thought. I've actually had a lot of fun so far filming for this video. Minus my broken ribs and not being able to skate much lately, I haven't been really stressed, and I've landed tricks I've never done before, and I've had fun. So I'm actually happy and excited to make another video right now. You see how much my opinion differs every couple minutes?...

Ok, so I've written enough for today. You see why I need two days to finish an interview? More to come next time, and thanks for your questions, keep them coming...