Friday, June 1, 2012

Part 1 of epic saga


This is me and today is my interview. Or at least the first part of my interview. That's right, I get two. Well, when you're writer of this blog, you can do whatever you want. That's pretty much how I roll: feet on my couch, don't care who you are. I got a bigger response than I was expecting with the questions you guys left on the posts, so I'm going to have to split them up into two interviews. And when I say you guys, I specifically am referring to 70% Zak, 15% Coleman, 5% AJ, 5% Dave, and 5% Rachel. If I've done my math correctly, those percentages add up to 100, accounting for the correct proportion of questions people have asked me. I'm still waiting for Matt to ask me questions, so he's got another chance seeing as I can't answer all my questions in one day. And Ben, where are you? Anyway, you don't care to know any of this, but I'm too pressed for time to go back and erase anything I've already said, so we'll just push ahead.

Today is my interview. And I've kind of been looking forward to this for some time now. I know I get to write every day and say whatever I want, but I like your questions, and they make me think of things I wouldn't normally write about. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Jon, I'm 27 but with a clean shaven face I put on the appearance of an 18 year old, as seen in the photo above. I skateboard, I break ribs, I don't skate when I break ribs, I heal up, and I start to skate again. That pretty much sums it for me. If you have any further questions for me, leave them as a comment and I'll answer them in my next interview next time I write.

Oh yeah, one more bit of info, I have no pictures of me skateboarding that you haven't already seen on this blog. Crazy, huh? So that's why I put up my Mofia shot up above, it's the best I can do... With no further delay, I give you my interview...



  1. If you could do only one trick for the rest of your life what would it be? There should be two answers, one for transition and one for otherwise.

    (Jon) Easy answer for me. Kickflip. I've thought about this question a lot actually, so I came into this interview prepared. I love to kickflip, it's the funnest and best feeling trick to do over and over. When I skate flat ground in our parking lot I usually warm up with a bunch of kickflips and fakie flips. Then once I'm warmed up, I just keep doing kickflips and fakie flips over and over. I can go out and skate and just do kickflips and come back inside and feel like I really accomplished a lot that day. I've got butterflies in my stomach just thinking of kickflips...

    As far as transition goes, it'd be a good old fashioned frontside slash grind. It's the scared man's version of the frontside 5-0. You can do it in any kind of transition, and they're really run to whip around real quick. And the truck grinding on the coping or whatever it is usually feels really cool on your feet, so I love to do that trick over and over.
  2. Coleman: What would you do if the redhead Wendy from Wendy's to your door and asked to go to the bathroom.

    Well just so you know, the founder of Wendy's always thought of Wendy's as a nice restaurant, not a fast food place. That's why Wendy's has carpet on the floor so that when you spill your root beer all over the place it can make the clean up a hassle for the workers and leave a nice black stain for your posterity to see one day. Actually, I'm really serious, this girl in 9th grade did a research project on Wendy's and told us all about the founder and how he was so proud that he made a hamburger place that was a real restaurant and not a fast food place. Guess what 9th grade girl, I can't think of anything that's more fast food than Wendy's. You failed that project...
    With that in mind, if Wendy showed up on my door, I'd probably lecture her on how she sold out and Wendy's isn't the quality establishment the founder hoped it to be. As to whether or not I'd let her use my bathroom, I don't trust Wendy, and I don't want her spreading diseases on my toilet seat. So no, I wouldn't let her in.

  3. have you ever had an ingrown hair on your nipple? How did you deal with it? If you had to choose between an ingrown nipple hair and a severe two day headache which would you choose?
    I've never had an ingrown hair on my nipple, no. I can't even imagining it hurting all that much, so I'd go with that over the head ache for sure. Head aches suck, but ingrown hairs are doable. And plus, they're fun to try and dig out with tweezers and what not. So it'd be kind of fun to have a little project to work on when I'm going to the bathroom.
  4. Whitney Houston or Justin Beiber?

    Whitney Houston for sure. She was in one of the good movies with Kevin Costner, right before he made Water World (sorry Maranda, that's on my really bad movie list). I think one deserves special recognition for being in a good movie with Kevin Costner.
  5. Say you are being forced at gunpoint to either do smack or crack, the gunman is pretty tweaked out himself so hes gonna shoot if you hesitate to choose. What do you do?
    I've been training for this type of situation. As part of my training I watch the final scene of Pulp Fiction over and over where Samuel L Jackson shows all the world what it really means to be a bad motha f---er. I'm actually glad that I'm in this situation, with a gun pointed at my face and all, because I've been waiting for the chance to be Samuel L Jackson. So I pull the old Sammy J on him and go for the smack. But then I grab his arm with the gun and pull it back behind me really fast so he doesn't have time to put a bullet in my stomach. With my other hand I put my gun up to his face, the gun that I keep in the back waist of my little blue shorts, and I stare at him super intensely with my flaring nostrils. Then I go on about my intervention I've had and I try to convert him to the good way. 

                    And if it all goes bad, at least I die without ever having done drugs.

  6. If you were forced into exile for ten years where would you rather spend your time? The Moon(assuming you had oxygen and all the required supply's). A small cave at the bottom of the ocean(also with oxygen and all needed supply's). The most comfortable chair in the world(but you cant move from the chair for ten years). In a deep sleep(but you would experience terrible nightmares every so often). Or on a small boat on the ocean. Write a small response to each option and say why or why not you chose that option.

    First I will tell you which scenario I choose. I would go to the moon. It would be pretty cool to be bouncing around up there and driving one of those moon cars. I'd bring my board and I could jump down or over anything I wanted without getting hurt. Also, so I wouldn't lose all my muscle, I assume they will furnish me with a gym and what not to keep my body lean and toned. Also, I just learned from Men in Black 3 that there are already people living on the moon, and it would be possible to stage an escape if I wanted and come back to Earth to seek revenge on those who exiled me. That's all if I wanted to, but it might not come to that anyway.

    I would not want to be in a small cave in the ocean because I am horrified of sharks. The entire time I'd be thinking of this dinosaur book that we had when I was a little kid. It had all these pictures of dinosaurs doing their thing: eating, walking, fighting, and roaring. But then there was a little section of the book that was dedicated to water dinosaurs. Those dinosaurs scared me SO bad. When I say they scared me so bad, I just lifted my feet off the ground as I thought about them because I didn't want one of them to snag my feet as I wrote on the computer. Those images still scare to this day... I didn't even learn to swim in the deep end of a pool until I was 12 because of them. My grandparents had a pool in their back yard, and when I was a little kid we'd all be over there with all my cousins and stuff swimming in the pool. But I'd be hanging on to the edge of the shallow end for dear life, warning my older siblings and cousins or the perils that come from flirting with swimming dinosaurs. Any time I tried to swim on my own, I'd think of one of those things biting my legs off, I'd panic, and I'd almost drown. It sucked. Then, to make things worse, our parents signed us up for swimming lessons at the local city pool. Me and Matt were in the same beginner class, then when the next season came and we were all supposed to move up to the next level, I should have stayed behind in the beginners class because I don't think I successfully swam that entire time. I usually just held on to the edge of the pool and did my best to be invisible for an hour. But I didn't want to be in the class alone, so I got advanced into the next class with Matt even though we both knew I was going to drown somewhere in the course of these swimming lessons. At least I'd drown with my brother by my side... So the first day of class, the teacher wanted to make sure everyone in the class could at least swim like 10 feet, so she got out about 10 feet from the edge of the pool and had everyone swim out to her. As she moved down the line of kids towards me, I knew I was going to fail her little test and get sent back to the ultimate beginner class by myself, where I'd be banned for life because I valued my life more than tempting the sea monsters. But I wanted to at least try and swim to the lady. So when it was my turn, I geared up, pushed off the wall, flailed around like I was drowning, which I probably was, started to sink a little, then all of a sudden I propelled forward to the teacher. I was beyond amazed that my body, out of nowhere, had developed the necessary skills to survive afloat in the water. The lady then had me swim back, which I couldn't do, so she pushed me a little, and I slowly drifted back to the edge. Matt was next, and he swam to the lady no problem. When he got back, I was so happy to ask him, "did you see me swim?!!!!" Then Matt looked at me very casually and said, "no, you didn't swim, you were going to drown so I got under the water and pushed you..." Chasing away one of the proudest feelings I'd ever had in myself and replacing it was an even prouder feeling that my brother had snuck under water and pushed me forward just so that we could stay in the same class. After that, we developed this little routine that we did pretty much every time I had to swim. I'd get ready, then Matt would duck under the water and push me with his legs. With my momentum and my sporadic kicking and arm flinging, I'd usually make it just far enough. I don't know if the instructors just didn't care or never noticed, but either way, we literally pulled that little act every single time I was supposed to swim, and I passed the class to the next level. Despite everyone's best efforts to teach me to swim, I shoved it back in their faces with a little help from my brother. I finally learned to swim when I was 12, and I love to swim now. But no, Zak, I would not want to be in the small ocean cave because I might see one of the swimming dinosaurs.

    Not the chair. My job right now (not teaching skateboarding or babysitting) consists of sitting in a chair for however long I can manage every day and researching solar panel companies. It is among some of the most boring work I have ever done in my life. But, I enjoy it because it breaks up my routine a little bit. Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is that no matter how comfortable the chair that I am in, I've learned that I can't sit for more than an hour or so before my legs get angry and something begins to stir deep within me, forcing me up and out of my chair and into the adjacent rooms in my apartment, which is one, the kitchen. I wouldn't last more than half a day in that chair before I'd want them to just send me to the moon.

    Not the deep sleep. I will tell you this though, I am a great sleeper. It runs in my blood. My mom is the best sleeper I have ever met. She can sleep any time anywhere as long as she has at least 3 minutes of uninterrupted lying/sitting down time. She even fell asleep on this freeway in California that was being repaired. There was heavy traffic, so she thought she'd take a little snooze while she waited, reclined back her seat, and woke up several hours to an empty freeway. You could only drive on the freeway from 6 to 7 in the morning when they had a police car escort people up and down the freeway. She slept through the escort and just sat there on the freeway. When the escort started up and she was not moving, they sent cops to see what was up. After shaking her car, honking their horns, and yelling at her to wake up, they thought she might have died or something. So they brought in a firetruck to see what was up. The fire truck honked its horn at her, and she didn't budge. You know the horn I'm talking about, the fire truck horn that you can hear from miles away. She didn't budge. She woke up several hours later after they realized she was just sleeping and wasn't really hurting anyone by sitting there, so they let her sleep it off. She woke up, was confused as to where she was, then started driving back up the freeway to go home. When she got to the top (we lived on a mountain, it was the freeway that goes up the mountain) of the freeway, there was a cop waiting for her. He stopped her, told her the story, then radioed in to headquarters, "Yeah, she woke up, she's up the mountain." I share this story with you to illustrate that I come from a family of seasoned sleepers, and given a comfortable spot, a little background noise, and no agenda, we can fall asleep in random places and for a long time. So I wouldn't need to be exiled to have to sleep a lot. I can do that on the moon whenever I want. And plus, I hate nightmares. I have probably one a week where I fall off of a cliff. It always feels so real when I'm falling, and I usually jump and wake up right when I'm about to hit the ground. The last one I had I was trying to get home from Africa and had to take a boat and got caught in this crazy storm. I was scared out of my mind. And that brings me to our last scenario. A small boat in the ocean is just a bad idea. An unfriendly sea and getting sick are among the worst scenarios for a 10 year exile.
  7. You are offered one million dollars a year for the rest of your life. The only catch is every six months you have to pass a kidney stone. Would you take it?

    Definitely. My mom passes a kidney stone every other week or so, and she's just fine, so I think I could handle two a year for all that money.
  8. If you could only save one life me (Zak) or Coleman who would you choose to save?
    Don't make me choose between you two! You know I couldn't live if livin was without you. But if I really had to choose, I'd want to see your guys' resumes first and have each of you explain to me why you're more fit to live. Then I'd make my decision.
  9. Favorite Power Ranger?
    The blue one splattered with his own blood, which then he'd be the green one. I hated the power rangers because I thought the Ninja Turtles were so much cooler. And they are.
  10. Coleman:Do you think Will was a tad cruel to Carlton. Or do you think Carlton deserves it?

    The above question was also Coleman.
    Carlton's a jerk, but Will definitely over reacted.

  11. Coleman: Kill Marry Rape

    Fred Flintstone, Myspace Tom, Bulma from Dragon ball Z

    Neither, neither, neither. I don't play that game, sorry.
  12. what got you into skateboarding?

    My older brothers. They always had skateboards growing up, and I knew those to be dangerous toys, good for nothing but chipping your teeth (Matt and Brian both chipped their teeth riding on their knees on skateboards). When I was 10, Matt and Brian were both starting to actually standing up right on their boards and learning tricks, a foreign concept to me. So I would go out with them, and I started learning to ride around. Not that I really loved skating, I just wanted to have fun with my brothers. But then I actually did start to have fun doing it. Matt even taught me to do little mini ollies on flat ground. So when I was 11 I ordered a skateboard from CCS. It took about 8 months for the skateboard to arrive. I was pissed. So pissed. Seriously, who waits 8 months to send a kid a skateboard? I had already paid for it. I even threw a pine cone at the UPS truck one time because I was hoping he'd bring my board that day and he didn't. By the time I got the board, I had moved to St. George and was learning to golf. Me and Matt would go out every now and then for about a year and skateboard. I couldn't do anything except ride a little and flat ground ollies every couple tries or so. For an entire year I unsuccessfully tried to ollie over a little curb while Matt could do it every try. I didn't have much fun with it because I sucked so bad and was too afraid to stay on my board. But then right before 7th grade started, Matt met this kid named Nick that was 10, a little taller than me, had a bicked head, wore a shirt with a skull that wore a viking helmet that he had made himself, and camouflauge pants. He was years ahead of his time. Nick turned out to be super cool and fun to hang out with. The first time I skated with him I saw that skating was way funner than I imagined it to be. After that I was hooked. Me and Matt have skated with each other almost every single day since I was in 7th grade, and it's been the funnest time I've had.
  13. how did bolts of thunder start?

    Me and Matt were making fun of mormon movies made by Hail Storm productions. We were driving in the car and talking about our spin off series of mormon movies we were going to make, but they'd be really dark thrillers. Like "The Excommunicated", "Mystic Font", and "Mormon Town". We were thinking of our production company, and it evolved from hail storm into thunder storm, thunder bolt, and finally bolts of thunder. It stuck.
  14. feelings about the new video?

                    It'll be fun to watch when it's over with. Until then, I'm going to have a hard time sleeping at night because I'm thinking of tricks I want to do, can't do, should have done, or I wish I would do if I just manned up. It happens every single time I've ever made a video. When I was 18 I couldn't sleep for about a month because every single night I'd think of doing a back lip down this 10 stair rail. I tried it several times, broke my board each time, then finally landed it 3rd try one day. Then I the next couple months following I couldn't sleep at night because I couldn't get a hold of the kid that filmed it. I was bummed I'd never see the footage and have to do it again. It was scary. But I magically ran into the kid in San Diego several months later, forced him to give me his email, phone number, and home address, set up a time I would come over to his house, and went there several times before I finally caught him there. He tried giving me an excuse of why he couldn't give me the footage, but I refused to leave until I got it. So I got it from him and never spoke to him again. He was a flaky kid... 
  15. So for this video, I don't know how I feel. The more I stress about videos, the less I want to make them. The last video was so stressful for some reason, and I swore in my wrath I wasn't going to make another one. I didn't film anything until just a few months ago. But that being said, I have so much fun skating flat ground every day. You don't have to be filming and making videos to have fun. 
Final thought. I've actually had a lot of fun so far filming for this video. Minus my broken ribs and not being able to skate much lately, I haven't been really stressed, and I've landed tricks I've never done before, and I've had fun. So I'm actually happy and excited to make another video right now. You see how much my opinion differs every couple minutes?...


    Ok, so I've written enough for today. You see why I need two days to finish an interview? More to come next time, and thanks for your questions, keep them coming...
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