Daniel R Shaw: International Man of Mystery

So I got an unexpected phone call this weekend that really made me happy. It was from Dan Shaw, which means he is safely home on friendly soil. Six weeks ago, Danny boy embarked on what was to become an epic adventure, traveling over a thousand miles mostly by bike through Europe pretty much all by himself. Equipped with little more than a bike, a single pair of underwear, and a well trimmed beard, Dan set out to give European women a little taste of American hospitality, Bolts of Thunder style. While abroad, he slept in parks, forests, and beaches, and he did a loop on his skateboard. Yeah, a loop. Like how Tony Hawk and Bob Burnquist do loops. Dan did one too. No joke. He didn't even film it, he just did it. I feel like that feet alone deserves an entire documentary dedicated to how Dan prepared for and did the loop while in Europe, but the thing is, he didn't prepare or plan for it. He just saw a loop at a skatepark and did it. Kind of like how he didn't plan or prepare for his thousand some-odd bike ride through Europe. He just did that too. Pretty much just like he does everything else that he does. He just does it. Now that Dan has completed this travels abroad, he truly can be considered an international man of mystery because it is completely mysterious how he can do so much. So once again people, take off your hat, shirt, and any other article of clothing you wish for Daniel R Shaw, Bolts of Thunder's international man of mystery.

Sitll bloody after all these years, a tribute to Brandon Miller

When I wake up early in the morning, this is what I want to see: an email in my inbox from Brandon Miller entitled "Still bloody after all these years" with a message that simply says, "here's a preview of what's to come," and six awesome pictures of my boy skating a good old fashioned LA sidewalk root bump. How could that not make my day? Thanks Brandon, and I'm glad to see I'm not the only one with bloody hands these days. Brandon is Dan Shaw's cousin which naturally follows that Brandon is one of the coolest people you'll ever meet. The first time I met Brandon, he spent like $60 in gas to drive us out to this lake near San Diego, drive us around on his boat for a couple hours where taught me how to wake skate. Then he even spotted me on the way back home at this Mexican restaurant because I "forgot" my wallet... It was in my back pocket the entire time Brandon, I was just too lazy to get it out... But thanks... So when we started this little blog, I put it up on facebook hoping that people would read it and enjoy it. Brandon was the first person to respond to it by writing a message that said, "consider this blog bookmarked." Then he was one of the first, if not the first, to become an official follower. I could go on, but I think you get the idea: Brandon Miller is a true Thunderbolt, as true as they come. Bolts of Thunder is honored to have such high caliber members on its team. It is and has been Bolts of Thunder's goal to get footage of Brandon Miller in "Bolts of Thunder Gone Wild", so this post is a friendly shout out to Brandon to film yourself skating by whatever means necessary, ie borrow people's cell phones, film yourself, then email the footage to me; do a trick in front of a super market then break a window so that the security camera catches it all, then hack into the net and get the footage-it worked on National Treasure 2, why couldn't it work for you? Or just get a video camera and have a friend film you the good old fashioned way. You get the idea. But I won't rest, I won't sleep until I have Brandon by my side, meaning footage of Brandon in the video. Dear reader, if you too have a festering sensation to see Brandon in "Bolts of Thunder Gone Wild," make it known, leave your comments and make your voice heard. And one last bit of news, Bolts of Thunder has a 14th follower: optimist2009. Glad to have you on board!

Tyler Braithwaite is not a spy

After several conference meetings with headquarters, we deemed it safe to post recent sightings of Tyler Braithwaite on our blog. We still weren't sure if he was a Pakistani spy or not, so we followed him around for a couple weeks. We spotted him in the ditch and were able to snap off a couple shots of him doing some type of stall axle slip and a step off-step back on the board maneuver. Seeing as Pakistani secret services can't skate tranny, we felt Tyler might not be one of them. At our next sighting of Tyler, this up rail, Tyler proved once and for all that he's not a Pakistani spy trying to steel Bolts of Thunder's secrets, and that he is indeed just a gnarly skater kid. A Pakistani spy would have given up front boarding up this rail when he saw the crappy runway, how bad the rail bent when skated, and the high possibililty of wracking it on the tip of that rail. But Tyler pushed threw all those elements, proving once and for all that he is who he says he is... So that front board on the rail is one of those tricks where you wonder why the guy is even trying it. I wouldn't have tried it. In fact, I didn't try it. His friend Parker even held the rail in place because it was bending super bad when he tried it. He got super close, then almost wracked it on the rail, then kept skating it. It all ended with him saying, "one more try, I don't want to break my board," then breaking his board on the rail the next try. I get a good picture of the break, and here it is for all to see. Sorry Tyler. But thanks for the good pictures. And for all of you who love juicy, unsubstantiated gossip, here's a little nugget for you: there's even been talk of Tyler making some appearences in the up and coming "Bolts of Thunder Gone Wild" video. Yeah, talk about that one at the coffee machine tomorrow at work...

Matt Tyson's Punch Out

Matt's off to a great start, giving the water a hard left jab

He throws in kickboxing, with a right knee to the undertow!

But what's this?!! The water lands a crippling splash to Matt's face!

Matt is disoriented. Will he recover?

Matt continues to stumble. Will this be it for this year's champion?

Matt searches for his balance, but will he find it?

He desperately wipes off his face before the water can land another crushing blow.

Like a blind man, Matt stumbles as the water dances around his disoriented body.

Matt squints and looks away in anguish. Folks, I do believe this is the end for our champion...

But wait, what's this?!!! Matt regains his balance and pushes out of the water. Is our champion getting back up?

And he did it!!!! He is up on both feet again! Matt has once again showed his resilience in the ring and his true love for the sport.

And Matt scoffs at the water as he stands on another victory!!!

Poop Face Look

Bolts of Thunder has officially launched its newest line in women's clothing!!! The woman in the right is Rachel, Bolts of Thunder's seamstress and styling coordinator. She's been working round the clock to reinforce the crotches of our pants and let out our shirts when we eat too much. She's modeling the "Bolts of Thunder Bullet wound" shirt, a sure to be classic amongst female hipsters in Provo. To the left is me, and that is not a woman's shirt I'm wearing. It's the "I Hart Bolts of Thunder" shirt, a sure to be classic among visitors of Provo and thrift store shoppers. So I just thought of something funny I saw today. It's a look  that people make when all hope is gone, and their lives are filled with despair. I like to call it the "poop face look" because the person makes a face as though he or she had a mouthful of poop and would really like to spit it out, but they can't. Don't confuse this with the poop face that people make on "The Ring" when the girl crawls out of the tv, because it's not quite the same look, although they are believed to be cousins of each other. The first time I saw the poop face look was when I was 14, and I was watching "Talk Soup". It showed a clip from Jerry Springer where this lady decided to announce to her husband that she was a lesbian in front of the entire US tv watching population by inviting her lady lover on the show and making out with her. The guy's face said it all. Poop face look. I've only seen it a few times since, and they were all pretty hilarious. Like when I told my first missionary companion that "Hero Scape", a Dungeons and Dragons rip off game, was just a game and not to be taken seriously. He was arguing with another missionary about cheating because he had a fire protection cloak, and I told them that it was just a game. He got the poop face look as he stared at me in anger. So I saw it again today in the library at school. The kid was playing a computer game and lost... I'm sorry you lost kid, but thanks for showing me the face, it's been a while since I've seen it. Kelli Olsen took that picture of me and Rachel, she wanted me to mention her name in the blog. Thanks Kelli. Maranda, here's your shout out. Now you have to officially become a Bolts of Thunder follower.

Garrett and his naughty pictures

"Garrett, have you been taking naughty pictures of yourself again?" - Shereen

Band of Brothers

Here are pictures of Dave fumbling around on this drop in in Paris and Matt chillen. I don't have any story to tell with these pictures. I just put them up because they were the only pictures I could find on my flash drive. The first time I met Dave, I thought he was weird. He reminded me of this kid in second grade that threw up mashed potatoes and corn all over the classroom floor after lunch, then he just sat back down in his seat and was ready to learn more. He was confused when everyone was screaming in disgust. Come on, we're at school, right? Then let's learn something... Or like this other kid in fifth grade that ate rocks and pine needles for lunch money during recess. But as it turned out, Dave isn't weird, and he's a really good friend. For example, Dave's not a fighter. But at the first sign of conflict with those kids at the Eiffel Tower, Dave was the first one swinging his skateboard. Man, my heart rate gets going every time I think of that, it was the funniest image. Dave was wearing this army jacket he had just got at a thrift store. He looked like a recently returned Vietnam war vet with his beard, uncombed long hair, and slight limp from having tweaked his ankle a little. One of the kids tried to grab my neck, and Matt showed no hesitation in retaliating. Before the kid could even get his hand to my neck, Matt had already grabbed the kid by his neck with his left hand and carried him about 10 feet away. The kid's friend ran at Matt like he was going to try and fight him, so before the kid got there, Dave intercepted him with a swinging skateboard. Dave ran at the kid holding his board with both hands over his head and swung down with full force on the kid. The skateboard bounced off the kid about a foot, that's how hard Dave hit him. For not being a fighter, that was a pretty epic display of getting your brother's back. This post has gone on a lot longer than I thought it would. Anyway, from all of us at Bolts of Thunder, have a good day.