Dan does not disappoint

So I know you're thinking that I've completely abandoned the blog in pursuit of my own vain ambitions, and that's why I refuse to write new posts. In fact, I have not written at all in an entire week. But your assumptions are wrong because writing on this blog is my vain ambitions, and I don't' have any others as of now... You wouldn't' believe it if I told you, but my sister Ginger has all kinds of hook ups, and wouldn't you know it, but my brothers, sister, and our spouses/significant people ended up on Radiohead's guest-list at their concert in Santa Barbara. No joke! We got to see Radiohead for free last weekend, so we all packed up and headed down to California. That's why I haven't been writing, I've been too busy watching Radiohead play. Thanks, Gin! The concert was awesome, and I'll put up video and photo evidence of our little trip because I know you don't believe me...

Anyway, knowing that I haven't written in a week, I did not want to disappoint you in writing a new post today. Let me just tell you this, if you're ever in a tight spot in your life, just rely on Daniel R. Shaw to get you out of it. He's some kind of Houdini/Knievil/Kilmer skater dude that always lands on his feet. I did not want to disappoint you, and Dan does not disappoint. Ever. If you don't believe me, take a minute or two to examine those abs. Those of you that are anatomically/biologically inclined, you will appreciate his well-defined trapezius muscles. Then take a couple more minutes to examine his height in airing out of that jersey barrier. That's not a launch ramp, and it's not intended to be skated as one. It's a jersey barrier with a cement tranny built into it, and it's intended mostly for riding, sliding, and grinding. But not airing. But Dan just aired off it anyway, and several feet at that. So I hope now that the wait was worth it and that you will leave the blog with a sense of fulfillment in your life. Thanks, Dan

You can buy Garrett's video for half the price

So turns out that Garrett sold his house, furniture, car, and dog all so that he could afford to make a skate video. In these hard economic times, skate videos are not proving to be the most lucrative of businesses. So Garrett and his wife have packed up all they have and have been living on the streets for about a year now. It's not so bad, Garrett keeps trying to convince himself, for it seems to fit Garrett's lifestyle: he likes to get out as much as possible. So Garrett has now finished his video, and he's selling it. On his sight it say's it's $8, but due to special connections and what not, I can get the video for $4. For you math junkies out there, you'll recognize my price to be half of what others pay. For those of you who are not mathematically inclined, trust me, it's half the price. Anyway, if you want to see Garrett's video and help get a family off the streets, leave a comment on this post saying you'd like a video. I'll order them from Garrett, then give you the video while you give me the money. Get how this works? But until then, we'll let Garrett keep trying to convince himself that life on the streets is actually pretty decent. He doesn't look convinced though, if you ask me...

all about Rachel

So this post is about my wife, Rachel. You all can see and understand now why I often refer to her as "Whale Belly". So she's a real trooper and loves to come out and skate with us. She doesn't do much skating, but she takes pictures and provides friendly conversation for you when you're tired and just want to sit. She takes tons of behind the scenes pictures of when we're just warming up or whatever, and they're mostly way better than the pictures I take, so I've been putting them up on the blog a lot lately. I guess I just wanted to officially recognize her contributions to the Bolts of Thunder cause. Thanks, Rachel! Here are a couple pictures she took on one of her outings with us when we were just warming up and having fun. Enjoy!:

RIP to another spot. At least until someone decides to make it skateable again like Dave so bravely did two years ago. Thank you Dave.

It's seems that nothing is safe anymore in this world of skater haters. That's right, world, I called you out on it! I won't keep it quiet anymore. Did you know that people don't like it when you put wax all over their property, chip cement off the corner of ledges, make noise in front of their business, scratch up their handrails, and so on and so forth? Sounds ridiculous, I know. So it turns out that the hospital did not appreciate Dave's handy work with his butter knife in making this stucco hubba skateable for us, and they lashed out in anger against the skate community. Actually, anger is not really what they did. All they did was re-stucco the ledge and paint it again. I guess that's it. And if we really wanted to skate it, we'd just have to go over with a sharpened butter knife in the early hours of the morn and have our way with that ledge in order to make it skateable again. But I don't see ourselves doing that. Not this time... So I heard a rumor that the ledge was no longer skateable, so I stopped by the other night on my way home and confirmed these accusations. The ledge is, in fact, covered in a menacing layer of stucco, a natural skate stopper. Seriously, if people only knew, you don't need to put skate stoppers on ledges, just make the ledge stucco. It's like a porcupine ledge that nobody wants to mess with anymore because it's just too much hassle to get it to grind. Anyway, I wanted to put up this picture of Dave 5-0ing the ledge. I'm glad we went there and did what we wanted to do on the ledge and got out before we got in trouble. Dave and I both slammed trying to 5-0 it, which I'm glad to be in any club with Dave. So all of Dave's old stomping grounds are getting skate proofed or ground to bits, but that's alright, we're coming up with new ways to stick it to the man every day, and we'll figure something else out...

Once again, What is Bolts of Thunder?

Today's post is the sequel to yesterday's post. It's always exciting to have a part two. But part two usually isn't as good as the original. Except for the Godfather part 2, that one is great. Anyway, not to beat a dead horse or anything, because this post has nothing to do with horses, and Bolts of Thunder is inherently opposed to animal violence, but I thought I'd put up some more pictures of AJ skating this rail. Except these are the behind the scenes pictures that my wife took, and did a really good job of taking if I may say so, so I thought I'd put them up. Now you know how much we go through to land our tricks and encourage others to land their tricks. Don't believe me? Watch Dave's bonus footage from either the first or second Bolts of Thunder video and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. It's on dvd, if you're one of the few and proud to have the dvd. Then as I was going through these pictures, I found one more haunting image of Ben spying on AJ, wondering if he'll earn the highly coveted spot on the Bolts of Thunder team. But, just to show you that this goes two ways, I found this other picture of Ben skating with AJ wondering:

Now you see what these two are up against. Well, although I rather enjoyed Ben and AJ pushing themselves as hard as they can purely to earn a spot on the team, I'm going to have to come out publicly and say it: guys, you're both on the team. We actually don't have a limited number of spots on the team. And how is this, you ask, that we can have unlimited spots on the team? Because Bolts of Thunder isn't really a team, it's more just a group of friends. Actually, for the remainder of this post, I'm going to copy one of my very favorite posts from the blog. It's from last summer, entitled, "What is Bolts of Thunder?" You should look it up because it has awesome pictures of Nick doing pole jams over grass gaps. Speaking of Nick, I talked to him yesterday. What's up Nick?!!! We've got plans for his part in our next video, it'll be a must see like his others. So for all of you who might be wondering what Bolts of Thunder really is and paid no attention to the header at the top of the blog, here's another explanation, and a fine one at that, taken from the post "What is Bolts of Thunder" from July 21, 2011:

"You know me, I'm proud of our blog, team, and Bolts of Thunder in general. All of you are making me proud. So I take every opportunity I get to tell people about Bolts of Thunder. This girl in my weight training class makes small talk with different dudes every day and rotates throughout all the guys, stretching in front of them and pretending to lift dumbbells, and today was my turn to be the victim. So instead of telling her where I'm from, what I'm studying, or even what my name is, I told her about Bolts of Thunder. I cut her off before she even had the chance to try and tell me about herself. So she asked me, "What is Bolts of Thunder?" and that got me thinking... I could have told her our purpose statement as is boldly declared at the top of the blog, but I sat and thought about it. I told her that we're a local skateboard gang and that we wreak havoc on society. She was so deeply unimpressed that she spared me her advances and left me alone. But that stirred a question deep within me. What is Bolts of Thunder? After having thought about it for a couple hours, I would like to share with you what my conclusions are...

What is Bolts of Thunder, you ask? Bolts of Thunder is an idea. The idea that just because a man has a family to feed, bills to pay, books to read, and people to impress doesn't mean he can't shirk all responsibility and make a skate video instead. The idea that just because your body can't physically handle the stress you're about to impose upon it doesn't mean you can't keep trying. The idea that even when your in-laws, employer, significant other, family, and friends have all rejected you for choosing a skateboard over a steady job, you can still be proud of yourself for having a part in a local skate video. The idea that even though you have a lot of work obligations, you can't still lead a double life as a street warrior. The idea that even though we might be hated for what we've done here today, at least we did it in style... Yes, Bolts of Thunder is all these ideas and more. I think Rome was originally founded upon similar ideas and ideals. Isn't that what the old emperor said in the beginning of "Gladiator"? I'm pretty sure that's what he said. Yeah, that's what he said. So, girl that likes to flirt with everyone in my weight training class, are you satisfied with your answer? Do you finally get it now what we're all about?"

And that's why we can include all the people we want. The end.

Thanks, AJ

This post is meant to show you that the war we're fighting is very real: trying to fool people. AJ does a good job of it. But he can't get past his own kind, and we called him out on this front feeble. After we called him out on it, he landed it no problem. But kids, don't ever try and pull a scene in front of us because we will spot you in two seconds! And Matt will not hesitate in calling you out on your antics... Also, I want you to see that AJ and Ben really are trying out, and they want that supposed one open spot on the team. In most of these pictures you'll find in the background the menacing, sinister red shirt of Ben waiting to pounce on feeble prey.

I don't know what I'm even trying to say. You get the idea though. Nothing. You didn't come here for substantive philosophically filling words of inspiration and thought. You came here for skating, pure unadulterated skating. Well today AJ, not I, is going to give you what you so desperately seek... Thank you, AJ, for giving our people what they needed...

Lucky Dan

Dan warmed me that at 88 mph we were going to see some sh**. It's a good thing the speed limit was only 70 or else that plastic cylinder glued to the back of the car could have blown of and caused some kind of wreck. So next week I'm heading down to California. To make a long story short, my sister has all kinds of amazing connections and was able to score our entire family backstage passes to Radiohead's concert in Santa Barbara. No joke. So that's where we're headed. But I'm also really excited because southern California is not only home to my sister, but to our good friend Dan Shaw, and we're planning on skating while we're down there. So it'll be really fun. Then I found this picture that I took of Dan when we were in Paris. We were skating this amazing spot in the middle of some weird apartment/business complex, and eating our oranges. It's a good thing this picture was not in Italy because oranges in the Godfather always meant someone was going to die soon. Not on our trip though. Anyway, this picture brings back good memories of skating in Paris with Dave, Garrett, Shereen, and Dan. Now that I'm on the subject, I just remembered all of these funny stories from when we were traveling around in Europe. Only spending a couple weeks over there and only about a week with Dan, we have a lifetime worth of stories to tell. So we did go to Italy when we were there, and we rode the train there. We all got reservations for this train through Italy except for Dan. Dan had already successfully out maneuvered the train security on three different trains and felt that his luck had not run out for the fourth train. Every time we'd see the people checking for tickets, we'd alert Dan who would all of a sudden need to go to the bathroom really bad and hide out in there for a while. Or like on our train from Paris to Nice, we all just hid out in the little bar/restaurant area of the train and went undetected. So this train in Italy, we were all there, then we see the ticket checker dude going around and looking at people's tickets. Dan spotted him and got up for his mandatory potty break. But the dude noticed Dan and probably recognized his technique, so he waited for Dan to come back. He just stood there for like 10 minutes waiting for Dan to come back from the bathroom. He had nothing better to do... So an unsuspecting Dan came back 10 minutes later expecting to have out maneuvered his fourth train security dude. But the guy came back and asked Dan for his ticket. So it's a long story, but Dan had a train pass but not a reservation for a specific seat. So Dan showed the dude his ticket pass, but the guy saw that Dan had no reservation, which he for some reason seemed to have taken personal offense to. He then proceeded to scold Dan in front of the entire train like a little kid. Dan was standing in the aisle in front of everyone, and the guy in his broken, angry English started yelling, "You... aNO aPAYa?!!!! No aPAYa after! aPAYa before! aPAYa NOWa!!!!" He went on like this for a minute, and Dan took it with surprising dignity. All the guy had to do was pull down Dan's pants and spank him bare butt and Dan would have been reduced to 5 year old scolding tactics, but this didn't seem to bother Dan one bit. You can tell a true veteran in the art of parent-scolding-taking when you can just stand there and let someone go on like that without laughing, crying, or pretty much showing any responsive emotion at all. Dan just stood there, then when the guy stopped ranting, Dan just said, "Ok" and paid him 18 euros. It was pretty epic to see a true master in winging it take it hit like that unscathed and unashamed. For the rest of Dan's month and a half in Europe, he pretty much perfected the art of train hopping and hiding. He even snuck his bike onto the trains undetected. It was funny to hear his stories after. Anyway, I'm excited to see Dan in a couple weeks and have some more fun. And so you don't feel cheated out of a skating picture, I'll put up a picture of Dan airing a couple feet out of a pool, just to show you that we really aren't messing around any more. I put this picture up a while ago, but I don't care. Deal with it...