Dan as art

Today's post features pictures of Dan with a lot of light shining behind him. That's all I was thinking when I took these pictures: Light, and lots of it. Don't ask me why, I just wanted light to be in these pictures. Actually, the light rays represent the goodness of Dan's soul, his pureness, honesty, and ability to skate even the roughest of transition. Yeah, that's what I was thinking when I took these pictures. I would write a long story about Dan, but I have tons of school work to do. Oh yeah, that test I was talking about last post, I actually did pretty bad on it when I thought I was going to do good. I was thinking that all of you are 95% responsible for me not doing so great because I was focusing too much time on writing my blogs for you, so I was thinking that if I fail in life, you could all just like pull your money together and support me so that I can keep writing my blog, and you can keep reading it. That way we all win, and I can feel better for not doing so great on my tests. Now that I think of it though, I am seeing a direct correlation with school performance and blog writing. As the amount of blog writing increases, the quality of school performance decreases, and vice versa.... Interesting... Maybe this is what it feels like to give up on life and play World of Warcraft all day long. Well, let me tell you, it's not all that bad of a feeling. You just turn yourself off and turn into a vegetable, then it's not so bad. But when you think of all the opportunities you've missed out on life because you were busy writing a blog when you could have been studying and succeeding in school, you get kind of bummed out. Ok, I've been writing long enough, and I really am going to study right now. I even woke up at 7:40 this morning so that I could get a jump on the day, and it's been working pretty good so far. I think I'm learning to live in a world where good school performance and blogs harmoniously coexist in relationships of mutual trust and respect. I think that's what Obama meant when he said, "Change". David Bowie too. I'm feeling better about my future now. Now that I feel good again, I'm going to tell you about Dan. I would like to write a book about Dan and all the his adventures. He's like Cain on Kung-Fu, walking the streets and having adventures. For those of you who don't know him, he's the most loyal, genuine friend you can ask for, so do yourself a favor and get to know him.

Childhood Dreams

So I have a test that I'm supposed to take right now, but the image of your disappointed faces as you checked the blog today and found stale, leftover posts kept creeping up in my mind. Well, if I'm going to fail this test, then I might as well put up an amazingly awesome picture to compensate for my loss of future opportunities for not taking my test. Yes, my entire future is hinging on this one test, the one test to rule them all; one test to find them, and out of the darkness... grind them! So a couple posts ago, I told you how old uncle Matt packed his gunny sack and took a little camping trip in Neverland, the place where 28 year old men don't have to grow up. What I forgot to mention was that Nick stowed away in Matt's gunny sack. Matt was wondering why his toothbrush and good book (all he packed in his sack) weighed over 200 pounds, but he pushed straight on till morning and woke up on the shores of Neverland. Much to his surprise, when Matt opened up his sack, Nick poked his head out. Matt jumped back in fear of what he thought was Nick's lacerated head rolling out of his sack. "Nick's dead!" Matt thought. But he couldn't have been further from the truth; Nick had never been so alive! Much to Matt's rejoicing, he realized that Nick was not dead, but had just ran away to Neverland with him. This picture was taken just moments after reuniting on the banks of Neverland on their way to the technicolored dream cream pie fight with Robin Williams and Rufio... I've got to take my test now, but next post I'll tell you about how Nick tricked Rufio into eating his own excrement. Pretty funny story, Robin got a good laugh out of it. But little does Robin know what Matt slipped in his drink...

Milianta stock on the rise

Sam Milianta is pretty much the hottest thing in skateboarding right now. If you haven't heard, you've been out of the loop for a long time. A very long time. Milianta stock is on the rise, and all of you should buy it. Just send your money to Bolts of Thunder, and we'll send you all the Milianta stock you can handle. So I'm proud to announce that this last weekend, we met up with Sam and started filming for his part in the up and coming "Bolts of Thunder Gone Wild" video. Yes, all you Sam fans out there (98% of the skating population), he's having a part in the video. And no, Sam is not a devil worshiper, he's telling me he loves me, but he forgot to stick his thumb in the air. Silly mistake, that's all. Stay tuned for more Milianta coming you way.

Matt's trip to Neverland

Matt doesn't do things your conventional way. He rides a lonely path. It takes heart to understand Hart, and depth to comprehend depth. If you don't understand the symbolic nature of this picture, you obviously don't have heart or depth. Not like Matt's heart or depth.... Happier than a kid at Christmas, Matt's plowing his way to freedom and fun as he butt bombs the sidewalk on his old school board. If his face alone doesn't tell you how much fun riding through grass hills and sitting down on our boards is, let me tell you: it's fun. Matt represents the 5 year old inside all of us that went on a camping trip to Neverland (Peter Pan's Neverland, not Michael Jackson's) and decided not to come back. You know which 5 year old I'm talking about. The one inside you, ready to burst out of your chest cavity like on "Alien". That will be painful and lethal when it does happen, and trust me, it will happen. So, for your safety, and the safety of all those around you, choose healthier ways of letting out the 5 year old inside of you than out of your chest. Grab your skateboard, sit down on it, and ride down a hill. Preferably one with grass so you can ride through that too.

Mean-stache

I knew I recognized that mustache from somewhere: Mr Flanders! You thought you could change your act and hide in Provo, Utah, did you... NED! Yeah Nick, we know your real name: Ned Flanders! Even though you changed your skin color and started riding a skateboard, your mustache has given you away. Turns out that Nick (Ned) was jealous of Bart riding around on his skateboard every day, especially when he rode off the wall onto the car. Nick couldn't stand the jealous rage anymore, so he picked up a board of his own and hit the streets. Well Bart, I haven't seen you ride off a roof onto a makeshift ramp. Looks like Nick's got this one on you... Besides Nick's mustache, the other glaring, obvious issue I must address is Nick's wedding ring in one picture, and not in the other. What's going on Nick? I think that answers all your questions you might have from these pictures. Use your imagination to fill in any gaps I might have forgotten.

And we're back!

With only 8 minutes before my next class starts, I have logged on to this blog to leave you, devoted Thunder Bolts, with today's post because I know how much you depend on Bolts of Thunder for your latest updates. And here is today's update: YES. Not a bad way to start the week, if you ask me. This post's picture featuring Dan as a prisoner of war detainee stripper needs and deserves no explanation. It is simply Dan in his element Stay tuned...

fangs dripping with tiger's blood

All you kids out there that want to become Vatican Assassin Warlocks, look to Thunder Bolt Brian Hart to be your guide. He's been hyped up on tiger's blood and Adonis DNA for 30 years now, writing his own constitutions and what not. I was happy last time when I saw him that his face hadn't melted off from all that tiger's blood, and I didn't have to weep over his exploded body. Brian is bi-winning with radical celebs leaving their numbers on his caller ID. He's with Charlie Sheen, living in un-terrestrial realms with goddesses. Give it up for Brian, cause he's been going for 30 years straight now, and he ain't stoppin. Cause he's only got one gear: GO!